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Old Speck

This post isn’t meant to be a tear jerker for you . . it will be for me, no doubt. 

We took Speck to the vet on 12/23 for a nail trim and to get the vet to listen to his heart. We’ve changed his heart meds a few times and I didn’t know if there were any more options. Speck was 16 years old in June and we know we’re getting to the end of this path.

Our vet is so kind and so jovial. We can hear him when he’s in the neighboring rooms talking with other patients. Every time we’re there, I tell Vince . . Dr. Speck should be the poster child for an “I Love My Job” campaign. 

A couple of friends who use him have recently had to have their dogs put to sleep and they’ve told me how great he was with the whole procedure and aftermath.

He listened to Speck’s heart and he looked up at us and shook his head and said “His heart sounds as bad as it can get.” He then told us there’s not much more we can do as far as meds. We’re reaching the end.

He isn’t hurting. He isn’t suffering. He gets winded easily. He still gets excited when it’s time to eat. He still gets excited when I walk through the door . . even if I’ve just gone out to feed Cat and only been gone less than 5 minutes.

He’s been such a good dog and we’ve loved him so much.  The past few years, as he’s gotten old and grumpy, have been tough. He doesn’t hear. He halfway sees. He gets in front of us and stops and never knows that we almost break our necks to keep from stepping on him. He’s snippy and he’d just as soon bite us as not if we cross him, but we still love him.

No matter how much I think I’m ready for this . . there will be lots of tears. Vince has built him a sturdy wood box. We want to bury him out here and simply digging a hole isn’t enough because of other critters.

I remind myself daily that he’s a dog. There are folks going through this . . dealing with near death situations, and then the actual loss of family – parents, siblings and the worse – children. There are people battling life threatening diseases. We are blessed .. Speck is a dog. We will cry. We will be sad for a time but life will go on.

Speck – 10 years ago

Funny how some things never change. That picture is from 10 years ago. I still have that same slip cover on the sofa in the sewing room. Speck still has that same pillow and pillow case. We still use that same old blanket for the dogs. The fabrics have faded and Speck is a bit grayer now. He does have on a harness these days instead of the collar.

For now, he isn’t gone yet, so we give him the treats that we only gave him in small portions before because we always had to watch his weight. We hug him a little more, we stop to give him a pat on the head where would have walked right by a few years ago. We will make the best of the time we have left with him and my hope is that he simply doesn’t wake up one morning and I never have to make the choice that it’s time for him to go . . though I can if I have to do it that way.

We’re as ready as we can get. We know we’ve given him as good a life as any dog could have. 

There are some funny stories involving Speck. In 2004 when we went to Vermont, we took him with us. We were in a hotel one night and had ordered a pizza. When we opened the door to get the pizza, Speck ran out the door. We were on the first floor and Vince went running after Speck. He ran by the front desk and kept going . . Vince was running right behind him and I was right behind Vince. Speck got to the end of the hall, turned and ran back. When we got to the front desk, the two people working were hanging over the desk looking and laughing. When we finally caught him, Vince and I were cracking up wondering what everyone thought . . a little dachshund running down the all, then an old man running after him, and an old woman following along. 

Once my parents came to see us in Kentucky. My first dachshund was a vicious dog and everyone was afraid of him. He didn’t care who you were . . friend or foe . . his first thought was to take a hunk out of your leg or hand. When my parents came to see us, I met them at the door and said Speck won’t bite but give him a minute to get to know you. I handed them each a piece of banana and showed them how to hold their hand out flat and let him get the banana out of their hand. My dad walked in held his hand out flat for Speck to eat the banana. I looked and my mom, who weighs about 90 pounds soaking wet, was up on top of the dining table . . still clutching her piece of banana. She said “I’m so scared of him! I” They finally got to be friends.

We will enjoy every day we have left with him, we’ll smile at the memories and we’re as ready as we can get for that day .. that’s coming soon.

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Comments

  1. It’s never easy, but it is the greatest gift you can give a pet you’ve loved and adored.
    A.A. Milne wrote this for Winnie the Pooh to say “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”.

  2. I am shedding a tear along with you. It is the worst part of loving dogs. It’s the reason we swear we won’t get another. But I, for one, cannot long breathe air not enhanced with dog fur. Our 14yo spaniel with a heart failure condition (years of meds) passed away peacefully in her bed during the night. It is my prayer for you that a trip to and from the vet will not be required. (((((Judy)))))

  3. Thank goodness that pets don’t know how we anguish over this decision. Our two old sweeties were still enjoying life up until the end, or very nearly the end. I love all of your “animal” stories, although I have shed more than a few tears reading this post. Good luck.

  4. It’s always hard to lose a pet you’ve had for so long, but like you say, he’s had a long life, he’s been a good dog and you’ve given him a good life. What dog can ask for more?

  5. We had to say goodbye a month or so ago. It was so hard. I wished the same wish you have.but he didn’t go at night. He had a huge sore in his mouth and started to have trouble eating. he was on meds for seizures. The vet said he could give him antibiotics but it was our decision. My husband had to leave the room. I had to hold him. They kept asking me if I wanted to put him down, no, i didn’t. When he was gone my husband said to you want to put him in a box and again I said no. I carried him home and then I held him til we got his spot ready and found some rocks to mark it. I had a hard time letting him go. real hard. A lot of tears. Then I went on the truck. I had stayed home because Toby had a hard time traveling. So I went after we said good bye.
    I thought we would wait but hubby found a new puppy in Portland and the folks agreed to meet us at the Truck stop…. So we have a new …..alligator mouth, puppy and he makes me smile every day. He is so good. Well not really, he gets into everything and loves to chew me. he is so darn cute.
    We have another dog that is coming to the end, Max. He is the same age as Toby, but in a little better health. cant hear or see very well but he is happy. He is grouchy with the puppy and often I have to scold the puppy , who just wants to play Max has sort of tried to play, but he would rather growl.
    Again I hope Max just doesn’t wake up some day, but we will see.
    The puppy stayed home and Galen went on 2 trips, back to back and didn’t come home for Christmas. I think he is the reason we got Schatzy. Well he was alone and started calling telling me about all the puppy’s in Texas….He got a little girl in the Houston area. He couldn’t stand it. LOL what could I say??
    Now he will finally be home, I haven’t seen her yet, this week. I am excited.
    I told him he will be taking some dogs with him…he always says he will and then doesn’t. Well we have a plethora of dogs now and he will be taking one or two, besides he enjoys the company.
    When Max goes…. no more…..okay that is what I said about Toby. I guess we just like large families!!! I will pray for Speck. I know how you will make him special til he leaves. They never really leave our hearts even though they leave the earth.

  7. I had dogs all my life until I married my husband and he said no dogs. That lasted 2 years, until I rescued a Border Collie pup. She had my heart from the second I saw her. 7 years later I rescued another Golden Retriever mix from the side of the road. Those two were sometimes the only reason I wanted to get up in the mornings. (We had adopted 3 behavioral/psychiatric Special Needs children and life wasn’t what I had imagined it to be) when Ceilidgh was diagnosed with cancer and there was nothing to be done for her, and I had to let her go, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But I believed as I’m sure you do, that the kindest most loving thing to do for her was to relieve her of the pain that she was in. And five years later, we had to do the same for our Tucker. Loving someone or something comes with a price, and it’s a steep one. Speck will leave a hole in your life that will always be there, but he’s filled your life with so much love that you would have otherwise missed. I will be thinking of you all.

  9. I’m so sorry, Judy. It won’t seem the same without Speck stories. Keep posting them as things happen, so we can say goodbye, too.

  11. I am so very sorry. We lost three cats last year, one by one, to various diseases. With two it happened quickly, but the third had cancer. We did just as you, giving lots of treats and lots of petting. We had her for nearly six months after her diagnosis. It’s hard, knowing what’s coming. But I wouldn’t live without my kitties, even with the sadness.

  13. I’m in the same situation as Dianne. Two of my cats died about six months apart from old age. One was 21 years old, the other was 22. We lost one to an undiagnosed illness, and now one of my little princess cats has just recovered from having a malignant tumor removed. The vet is optimistic, but everything I’ve read about this type of cancer is not reassuring. So I do like you do. Let her sit in my lap as much as possible, lots of love, hugs, and head scratching. I’ve been so blessed to have adopted her, and am grateful for a chance to love her a little longer. My prayers for you and your family. And Speck isn’t just a dog. He’s family.

  14. The love of a good dog is worth grieving. It is some comfort to know that he lived the best life a dog can live–loved and well-fed! I will be hoping with you that good old Speck goes peacefully in his sleep. Take care of yourselves.

  15. That’s where I am with Mr. Fang. He’s 14 1/2 and limps around. I hope he’s not in pain (I always tell him I wish he could talk to me) as I’m not sure how I will handle his end of life. I, too, hope he goes in his sleep because he bites everyone and not sure how I’d get him to the vet. He’s been my only roommate for the last 4 1/2 yrs and when he’s gone, I’ll be all alone. UGH…..

  16. The only thing you all can do at this point is love him to the end. He’s been a part of your blog for so long that we will all miss him when he’s gone. Give him a hug from me and Penny!

  17. Oh my goodness this email was sad in a way. I remember when I first started following you. I love the Speck stories. Ye sit will be hard when he is no longer with you. For now just give him more treats and more love what can that hurt at this point in his life. He deserves both after his long life here. You’ll see him again on Rainbow Bridge he’ll be waiting for you both.Here is about it if you’ve not heard about it.

    The Rainbows Bridge Poem
    RainbowBridge.com Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

    Author unknown….

  18. So sorry for you all and Speck. We had our dog die in November. I have never shed so many tears. We did give him a good life, but oh the mourning was awful. We are getting a new dog in January. We really miss our Zip.

  20. This summer I went through exactly what you are going through. My oldest dog baby had reached the end of the line. I could hardly stand to leave him alone for fear he would pass while I was away. I could tell it would be soon but he wasn’t acting like he was hurting and his appetite was still ok despite having lost almost half his weight. Finally one afternoon while I was fixing dinner my husband took him outside and he just sort of feel down and he was gone. Even when they get to go on their own it’s not easy. Never feel like you have to apologize to people for being upset about the loss of a pet. I’ve met plenty of animals who were better people than some of the people I know. Good luck and much love!

  21. I feel your anguish as we’re walking the same path with Jill. We cherish the fun times and memories we’ve had for the 14 years we’ve had her. Speck has been blessed to have you and Vince as his ‘parents’. Hugs to all three of you:)

  22. Saying goodbye is so hard, but you’ve provided him with a wonderful life. It will be hard, but know that when the time comes (whether you have to pick or not) that he was loved to the very end.

  23. I feel your pain Judy and Vince. Saying goodbye to our dearest friends, is one of the most difficult things we face as pet owners. I wish they could stay with us forever and ever.

  24. Through the tears I’m sending you hugs. We lost our beloved Clancy in June and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, he was the son we never had and I’ll admit I spoiled him rotten. The Rainbow bridge nearly did me in but it’s nice to think I’ll see him again and he will remember me. We are all here for you when it’s Speck’s time.

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