No matter how ready or prepared I think I am when it’s time for Chad to leave . . it’s still hard. He left about 3:30 and he was very sweet and kind from the time he got home from work about 3:10 til he left. He called about 4:30 to tell me he’d made it safely, was in the room and his room mates were happy to see him. Tell me why at 6:00 I’m sitting here bawling! I was fine til just a minute ago. This is the third week (and the first time he’ll be gone for five nights I might add) . . shouldn’t I be getting used to this by now?
I would go upstairs and visit with Vince but he’s working on a budget and I want no part of that! Guess I’ll just get that next quilt loaded.
Give yourself time…it’s not been that long yet. It WILL get easier!
Donna (in MI) says
I agree that it hasn’t been that long yet. And for what it is worth, I sometimes still cry when my daughter leaves to go back home (2 hours away). She is 23 and hasn’t lived at home in about 5 years. We will always be their mom.
Hugs to you, Momma.
I think it would probably be easier on you if he wasn’t coming home every weekend. You would miss him if he was gone longer, but you’d get used to the idea… when I first left for college, I didn’t come home for a month and a half. It was hard, but it helped us all adjust to the change. Of course, by the end of my college career, I was coming home almost every other weekend… they were used to seeing me come and go by then. 🙂
Does Vince know that when you have a budget you can’t just up and go shopping whenever the urge strikes? Budgets are so limiting. I’ve never used one myself. There’s just this running total in my head of what money’s available & I buy what we need. Every once in a while one of us buy’s something they just want and it must all work out OK because we’re not in debt or anything.
Do you figure maybe Chad was being extra sweet because he still hopes you’ll pay for his car repairs? These kids can be pretty wiley. I always figured that when my kids were being extra nice to me they either wanted something or had done something they shouldn’t.
Look at it this way… you could always turn his room into your knitting studio! 🙂
Big hugs to you Judy. My oldest leaves for college again on Friday. She has been home since right before Christmas. It was a nice break for her and we had a great time, but I’m happy that she gets to go back and have a lot of fun. Of course, I will be crying all day on Friday, so I’m taking a ‘sick day’. Can you imagine me sitting there with a room full of teenagers, bawling my head off? They would laugh me right to the funny farm!
Hang in there. You will get through this. Keep sharing with us too. It lets me know I’m normal too 🙂
I think it quite normal and I think you are doing wonderfully. Sometimes we just need to cry….I know I did for awhile but I finally was okay with it. It just took a little time….okay, maybe a lot of time. 🙂 I like having my nest full.
6 pm, dinner time, and the empty chair.
yep that would be enough to make anyone cry.
maybe speck could learn to sit at the table? *grin*
Linda H says
Dear Judy, don’t be so hard on yourself. When there is a loss or change in a relationship, it takes time to heal. Think of it…you have lost your “little” boy. That is a real loss. Give yourself lots of time. There’s no rush. In the little boy’s place is a young adult, out on his own, going and growing and flying with his own, brand new wings! This is someone new to look forward to getting acquainted with. A whole new relationship. Enjoy exploring that new relationship! And watching him soar!
Even though my little guy is still just 5 1/2 – I do understand! He has never,ever slept over anyone’s house – if my schedule requires an overnight trip – I bring him with me rather than leave him behind. Maybe you should get a good book to read on the nights that he leaves? Something to occupy your mind – when you sew or knit – you “think” too much (or at least I sometimes do!). Cheers! Evelyn
I agree. Give it more time. I hear ya. You get upset with them about things and then you miss them when they’re gone. It’s a yo-yo. The apron strings are being stretched and eventually will be cut. It was hard for me when my kids grew up and didn’t “need” me in the same way but at the same time a relief–does that make sense? We get so geared to be mothers that it’s hard to switch gears.
Karen L says
you know…….sometimes a girl just has to cry!!!
PS….are you sure it was Chad causing the tears…..with Vince upstairs doing the “budget”……I think that would give me alot of incentive to shed a few tears!!