I’m not sure if it’s just me or if it’s an age thing but lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about perspective, and I’m not 100% sure that perspective is the actual term I should be using.
It makes me a little sad that I wasn’t wiser in my younger years but several things that have been on my mind:
Walmart – We all seem to love to hate Walmart and I am not saying they’re the greatest corporation but they aren’t the worst. When Chad worked for them, he started in college as a part-time employee. For those of you who remember those years from my blogging about his antics, you will probably agree with me that he was not the employee of the year material. But he had a manager who took an interest in him, saw his potential, disciplined him with kindness and once Chad graduated from college, that manager encouraged Chad to go into the management program. Chad worked horribly long hours with them but he got a lot of vacation time. I think after 11 years with them, he had about 8 weeks vacation. I’m not sure their vacation plans are as generous any more. But, when we, as customers, go into Walmart, we have to realize that they have a hard time getting employees. The entry level jobs do pay low wages and for those who have to pay for child care, it isn’t feasible though you do have to start somewhere to move up but if you already don’t have any money, you can’t have your day care costing more than you bring home. Walmart gave Chad opportunities he would not have otherwise had and even though I see many of the gripes people have with them, they were fair to him and they helped him along the way. Also, they come into towns where other businesses usually won’t go. Yes, they do put some mom and pop businesses out of business but if you’ve ever lived in a small town that doesn’t have a Walmart and looked for something that could not be found, it makes you thankful for the Walmart stores. Yes, it’s a lot of low quality stuff from China but where can you shop that you don’t find that? I laugh when people say they don’t shop at Walmart because they don’t buy Chinese junk and I want to say “Where the heck do you shop that you are able to buy anything else?”
When I was in MO, we went into a local-ish grocery store that I wanted to check out and the prices were outrageous! Blue Bell ice cream was almost $8 and Walmart had it for $6 something. Why would I pay that much more for the same thing?
Anyway . . Walmart will never be my favorite store but because of price and convenience, I don’t think they’re awful and I think they gave Chad a fair shot, even when he deserved a kick in the rear probably.
Another thing – those crews that come in to restore power and their support crews. I never thought a whole lot about them. I lived with hurricanes but the biggest thing that caused us to lose power was the ice storm in Louisiana when we had massive power lines down and crews from everywhere came to help. We were thankful that they came but I never thought that every one of those folks that came in had left families behind, driven for days and were staying in sometimes not so great accommodations. Now that Chad is doing that type of work, I realize what a sacrifice not only the workers make, but their families make as well. Chad left Kansas on Wednesday morning with no idea where he was going. They drove to south of Dallas and spent the night, then, because in the fog of the storm, there wasn’t a lot of organization yet, so Thursday morning they drove from south of Dallas to Metairie, Louisiana and spent the night there. Yesterday morning, they were going to Baton Rouge and then got orders to go to Lake Charles, which is where Chad was hoping to get to go. Their accommodations are not the greatest but they’re doing what they need to do. He will probably be there at least a month so that will mean that in two months, he’s spent two nights at home, has worked in New York, Iowa and Louisiana. That’s what they do but it’s a sacrifice and I hope people who need their services appreciate them and let them know they’re appreciated. I was telling Vince last night . . I can foresee how this goes: Week 1 and into Week 2 – everyone is thanking them for being there; Week 3 – people are looking at them and wanting to say “Why is my power not on?” but they’re still being nice; Week 4 – people want to grab them by the ears and drag them to their homes to do whatever it takes to get power back on. I’ve been there! I understand but seeing it from the other side makes me look at it differently.
Even as a mom, by the time Chad was 2 years old, I felt the need to go back in time and find all those moms to whom I’d given the stink eye because of their misbehaving children. I was 100% of the opinion that children need to be seen and not heard . . and along came Chad. I was 33 when we adopted him as an infant and I learned a whole lot quickly about expectations vs. reality.
Almost everything we do; everything we believe has been shaped by something in our life – what our parents believed, what our favorite teacher taught us, what a mentor shared with us.
I had an incident this week where a friend did something that hurt. I felt somewhat betrayed or used. Vince asked if I was going to say anything to her and I said no . . there’s no benefit in discussing it but it did change our relationship. For a while Vince has been telling me that she isn’t the friend I thought she was and I didn’t see it but now I do. I’ve always said that I can’t change others but I won’t let others change me. I will continue to trust people until they prove they are no longer trustworthy or, are no longer a true friend.
I’m asking . . if you have an opinion or even maybe a habit that you feel is written in stone – think about it from the other person’s perspective. You don’t have to change your mind; you don’t have to change their mind – just think about it from a different mindset.
The world needs to be a kinder, gentler place. Maybe some of us need to be kinder and gentler.
Carolyn Sullivan says
good thoughts
PamO says
Tolerance…I do not have to have the same beliefs as everyone else or vice versa. There is so much intolerance.
I remember on Day 13 of the aftermath of Hugo sitting on my front stoop watching and waving to the electrical crew restoring our power. That was 1989. So when I see staging of trucks or convoys of supplies arriving, my heart becomes full because I remember how we received help and support when we needed it and now someone else is receiving it. So I truly appreciate the sacrifice that Chad and his family are making, as well as all the others without names.
Hugs to you.
montanaclarks says
Well written Judy.
JustGail says
The power line repair people (both the regular crews and those brought in from other areas) have been on my mind also. It seems like this year has been busier than normal for them. East coast, Iowa, now Texas/Louisiana all slammed by storms within a couple of months. And west coast fires. Even so, they did a great job here in Iowa, where there was no advance warning about that storm. At least hurricanes have advance warnings, cold comfort that is for dealing with the results though!
Elle says
Perspective is absolutely the correct word. You’ve shared things about Chad’s experiences that I for one, did not know about Walmart. And although I know traveling power company crews are away from home when helping others, I have never given thought about the time span and impact on their families. Shorter stints than military, yet much the same impact and they have risks too.
I’m sorry you have a friendship that took a left turn 🙁
Kindness is always a wonderful habit. I wish you a great day 🙂
Mary says
I am so glad your family is okay, but I know their losses are great. I also continue to pray for Chad and his family and I am so glad there are people like him in our lives. Pam O’s comment of tolerance is perfect. I really think that God is trying to tell us something and if we put Him first in our lives, tolerance, along with love and kindness toward our fellow man will come naturally. This world would be a much better place if we all just looked to a God for our direction!
Pat In SC says
So thankful for men like Chad! About 10 years ago , Clemson had a bad ice storm that took out many lines just weeks before Christmas. I was an amputee of only several months. We could see crews working out our patio doors as we were on a slight hill.lots of trucks. We had ordered pizza. Randy realized that those linemen must be so cold and hungry, so he ordered a bunch of pizzas and the walked down the street to give them to the men. It was already about 6:00 and very dark He said those men were so hungry for something hot. They literally had to take a break and eat. And magically an hour or so later, the lights came on including the Christmas trees on the deck. We think the pizza did it. I always try to thank anyone who serves me and in these times, with going out very little, it seems even more important to let people know we appreciate them being on the job. Times are tough but an I appreciate you being here seems to mean so much. My mother in law always said” Give the flowers to the living ,don’t wait for the funeral. So how is that for a ramble on perspective. Prayers to Louisiana and all the people helping! Prayers for us all.
Twyla says
Walmart is usually the first trucks carrying water in to these damaged areas. My husband told me many at time the hard part was waiting to get to people to deliver the water. Those Walmart drivers live in their trucks 5 nights a week away from their families.
Good luck to Chad and all the crews working these storm sites.
When the grandson and family got their house back in March I advised them to leave baked cookies for the mailperson every once in a while. Why? Because they are doing a hard job and every old dog needs a pat on the back. I leave stuff for my mail lady and the garbage pick up guy.
So sorry your friend hurt you. Been there unfortunately. Still stunning isn’t it?
Jean says
I’ve had several “friends” like that! I drop them like “hot potatoes” and never look back. I am surprised that they seem puzzled that I no longer want anything to do with them and they keep trying to remain ” friends”. I have no room for people in my life that aren’t trustworthy or have wrong motives for “friending” me.
Vince had great perspective on your “friend”! Prayers and gratefulness for Chad and all the others!
Dottie Newkirk says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. My hubby was a power company employee for many years (after many years in the Navy) and until you’ve “walked in their shoes”, you don’t really understand/realize how much they do.
And, we really need to “re-learn” how to be kind when we talk to our friends/acquaintances. For whatever reason, it seems that people have forgotten manners, the Golden Rule, etc.
Marcie says
I am very grateful and appreciative of the crews and volunteers. I’m a bit confused though – is Chad a Walmart volunteer helping a utility company, or has he changed jobs and is working for a utility company?
Judy Laquidara says
No. Chad’s been gone from Walmart for about 1-1/2 years. He went to work for a utility company.
Marcie says
I must have missed that change – makes more sense now!!! Thanks – and thanks for the utility crews helping each other. In my life, it has been wintertime assistance due to blizzards for the most part.
danielle says
I appreciate all that you say. And I agree about the change of attitude towards the utility companies – but it is fueled by frustration and exhaustion. They were talking about one water district whose lines were melted by the fire – and how long it will probably take to get everyone back on line with water. And then talked to a man who said he literally did not know what he was going to do – the area will not let him move back in without water, but the insurance company will not pay for more than 2 weeks of housing since the issue is not on his actual property.
But I get what you are saying about Walmart. My middle daughter was a challenge growing up. Dropped out of HS – but then went back and got her GED. And when she started looking for work did not like seeing GED on her apps, so got her HS diploma. And then she started as a temp with a big online store. Got the chance to go FT with them and took it. 15 years later she is still there. They paid for her to get her AA degree, and has paid for her to work on her BA. She has had so many chances for advancement and has taken them. Traveled the country until that got old. But the most important thing??? They were able to show her things I had always told her – that she was smart. And they gave her self confidence and self esteem. Things she never had. She has earned respect from so many different people within the company and without – has been offered jobs outside the company. So bad mouth some of these big companies, and yes they do have some things they need to learn to do better – but also listen to the success stories like your son and my daughter!
Judy Laquidara says
Not sure where that poor guy is but there are people living everywhere in SW LA without water. It is a mess! There’s so much debris and even with hundreds and hundreds of utility support crews there, it’s slow going. The utility companies can restore power til they can get their equipment to the damage and there’s very left that can be used.
Good for your daughter. That’s so great that she took advantage of opportunities and improved her life. Yes, I’ll never say most of those big companies are the BEST but they have made a world of difference for some people.
Donna in KS says
I, unfortunately, have been on both sides of this kind of friendship issue. My heart still aches over my words from nearly 60 years ago and the childhood best friend I lost ?. I have been in your situation too. It always catches by surprise! Like Vince, my husband has usually assessed the relationship more accurately than I. I am sorry you’re going through this.
God bless and protect Chad and other workers away from home to help many other citizens get safely back into their homes. Praying for all.
Donna in KS says
I, unfortunately, have been on both sides of this kind of friendship issue. My heart still aches over my words from nearly 60 years ago and the childhood best friend I lost ?. I have been in your situation too. It always catches by surprise! Like Vince, my husband has usually assessed the relationship more accurately than I. I am sorry you’re going through this.
God bless and protect Chad and other workers away from home to help many other citizens get safely back into their homes. Praying for all.
Sara Fridley says
Seeing something from someone else’s viewpoint isn’t always easy. Good food for thought today!!
We’ve had a huge appreciation for the power linemen ever since a devastating ice storm took out 1,000s of power poles across our state. One of former students – and classmate of my daughter – was a power lineman in Alaska for several years. He was badly injured on a job, but the company took such good care of him as he recovered. They are mostly good companies who treat their hard-working employees well. Hopefully Chad and his coworkers stay safe, and bring the relief to those they are trying to help. They are sure a critical piece of our country’s infrastructure.
cindy says
i have long tried to make my children/grandchildren understand that no two people have the same experiences and we all approach everything in life from our own set of experiences. We have to remember that when dealing with anyone else — spouse, child, friend, or stranger. It is not easy to teach or demonstrate all the time. Prayers for all involved in the hurricane and getting through the aftermath.
Nelle Coursey says
Wow I hope it was not me that hurt your feelings! I would never intentionally do that. I worked at Texas Power and Light, then it became TU Electric, then TUE and now I don’t even know what they called themselves. We sent our guys all over the country. But when we were the ones that needed help, they came to help us also. I think these people go above and beyond their actual duties. My brother worked for Asplundh before he started his own business. Those guys work really, really hard and I do appreciate what they do. I know Roger made good money, but he had to be away from home a lot. That is sometimes not a good thing for your home life. Chad is a lot different from my brother though. He has a wife and child he loves and would do anything for. I loved my brother, but bless his heart, he did not have the same ethics as Chad. He had good work ethics though.
Judy Laquidara says
You know it wasn’t you! I haven’t even seen you in forever!!
Elizabeth Rodgers says
I remember the stories my husband told me about the phone company during bad times like hurricanes. People would welcome them, slaps on the back, serve coffee and biscuits, football scores, and just make them feel so welcomed. It always made me feel so good about the hard times they would go thru/ check with Chad about needing anything. We made runs with food and towels to south La, when Rita hit. We made trips every weekend to bring supplies. Remember there is nothing there.
Bon says
Good post
Joanna says
Such a great post. To me understanding perspective is fundamental to maturity, kindness, wisdom, etc. Your Walmart example is perfect. I used to shop there twice a year, maybe, when I lived in a huge city. Moved to a tiny country town and shopped there regularly but supported the small country store, out of principle. Paid more for some things but supported my little town. My husband got laid off so it’s all Walmart now. And I get tired of people making fun of Walmart greeters. I have 2 favorites who a the nicest gentlemen who make me smile each time I visit.
On friendship, a friend recently counseled me that sometimes people just don’t have anything to give. You’d think at this age I’d have all that figured out. My theory is that some women never get past the comparison and competition. All that doesn’t age well.