Patchwork Times by Judy Laquidara logo

A Family Matter

Some of my family is very private. Obviously I did not get that gene. I don’t want to share too much here but the blog may be affected so I thought I should at least let you all know some of the story.

A very dear and very loved family member (not someone I talk about on the blog) has cancer and is struggling. I have left Vince at home in charge of cats and dogs and chickens and hatching eggs and a greenhouse that needs water and heat sometimes . . and I’ve come to stay and help with my family that needs a little help.

I knew the situation was very serious and even though I may seem tough sometimes, I’m not strong in situations like this. Every song on my iPad made me cry on the trip here. I kept telling myself . . you’re not going to be any help to anyone if you walk in there bawling. I prayed for strength and guidance with what to say and what to do. At one point, I was driving down the road, brushing tears away and I looked up at the sky and said “God . . look at me! I need strength.”

I never cried after I arrived but dang it, I’m bawling again just trying to write this.

As of now, I have not been able to get the password for their internet and I feel like it’s not a priority. I’m blogging my cell phone as a hot spot. I’m not even sure if I said that right but somehow, I made it work.

When I left home, I had no idea how long I would be gone. I told Vince . . I hope to be back by Thanksgiving. He jokingly said “You can be replaced!” I wanted to say . . only if you let me hide and watch how it goes with a new wife!

I really didn’t, and still don’t know how long I’ll be here. I was asked today how long I would be here and I said “I can visit with you all tomorrow and leave or I can stay as long as you want me to stay” and my response was “You CANNOT stay as long as we want you to stay.” I think they’re happy I’m here. I’m happy they want me here and I hope I can do some little something to make their life easier through these next days, weeks and hopefully months.

Cancer truly sucks. This is the first time I’ve experienced it with a close family member. My heart aches for them . . truly breaks!

Let’s end this very sad post on a funny note. You know what a dingbat I am. I ironed all my tops that needed ironing, paired some up with camisoles or tees, had 7 or 8 tops on hangers and had them on the coat rack by the door so I wouldn’t forget them. Yes . . you know where this is going.

I was passing through one little town and a friend lives there and she sews knit tops too. I thought to myself . . I wish she wasn’t working today. I’d stop and show her the tops I made. That’s when it hit me . . like 4 hours from home . . THE TOPS I MADE ARE STILL AT HOME! The only top I had with me was the one I was wearing . . a blue t-shirt! I thought about getting Vince to package them up and mail them to me. I thought about asking my friend who has access to my house to run over and get them and mail them. Then I thought . . I need more tops anyway so I stopped at the first place I saw that had women’s clothing and bought 4 or 5 tops.

So far, it looks like I have everything else with me.

The next few days, maybe few weeks, don’t worry about me if I don’t post. I may just not have anything positive to say or I may not have internet but I will try to keep posting as normally as possible.

Reader Interactions

Comments

    • Um…. Don’t worry about the blog! I know what your going through first hand my stepdad has a rare liver cancer and it has played a toll on him. Now they think he has cancer in his lungs. He has made up his mind that if he has lung cancer, no more chemo shots ( he gets them in his stomach) and no more radiation therapy every 3-6 months. And I am so mad at him I feel like he is giving up but, my mom say’s it’s his choice WE JUST HAVE TO BE THERE FOR HIM. so your being there is doing more then you know. Prayer your way

  3. Judy, I’m sure they are very glad your their, and they’ll share their password soon. Probably just haven’t thought of it with so much weighing on their minds. Cancer is horrible and
    your family needs you and so do the others who have been caregivers up till now. So they can take a walk or just let down their smile. It’s hard to be cheerful for the sick person all the time. I’ve been grieving for someone I’ve never met for the last few days. I love Janet Chapman’s books and although they are paperback I have every one. She lost her life to Cancer about 3 days ago. I’ve never met her but her books have helped me with some tough times, while teaching good lessons of life. So has your blog. I’m glad your able to be there for family. Just remember to try not to shoulder the whole load yourself. Keep those great pots of soup going that you love for healing and I hope some day one of my family is willing to do be there for me. I’ll be sending prayers your way.

    • Judy, I am a cancer survivor. The most precious things I had were someone to sit and listen to me as I went through the ups and downs, a meal made for me that I didn’t have to do myself, help around the house…did I say someone to listen to me? Know being there helps immensely. Prayers for you and your family.

  4. Prayers for you and your family Vince and the animals may God watch over everyone big cyber hugs

  6. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. If your family gets their internet thru a service, the password may be on the router. I know mine is. It’s worth a try.

  7. Hugs and prayers dear Judy. I know that you are a blessing to your family in need and you will in turn be blessed.

  8. It’s wonderful that you can be there with your family while they are struggling. Too bad Vince doesn’t blog, I’ll bet he’ll have some stories to tell while you are gone. Best Wishes!

  10. Oh, sorry to hear that this is happening! Thanks for letting us know, though. I would have worried without hearing anything. It seems like you’ve had your fair share of not fun things lately. Hope you are able to find some comfort that you made it in time to visit and that your presence is a comfort to others.

  13. Do what you need to do. If you can’t blog your readers will miss you but we will get by until things settle down for you.

  15. You probably will never know just how much your being there means to them. When I was caring for my DH during his fight against brain cancer, the visits helped. I had one friend that, once DH was home on hospice, came every evening after she got off work and just stayed til bedtime. She was there way more than my family. So just being there means so much even though it’s hard on you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers as will your family.

  16. Prayers for strength and guidance for you. Don’t worry about your readers – most of us have been in your shoes at some point in our lives.

  17. Hugs and Prayers. I’ve walked in these shoes with Mom years ago. It’s not easy, but you will never regret being there when you were needed.

  21. I can so relate!!! My 3 year old grandson is battling cancer. He was having a couple of days of both chemo and radiation so I was at their house to help(5 hours from home). I was halfway there before I realized I left all my shirts on hangers behind!!! My granddaughter and I went to Target after school and picked up several tops, sweater and scarf I was only there about 5 days . Needless to say, when I went back out 2 weeks later I made sure I had my clothes on hangers! Cancer is awful. He is in his 2nd round of chemo. Has had surgery to remove the tumor for the most part and just endured 23 radiation treatments. He is scheduled to have a third round of chemo after this one. Will be praying for you all.

  23. So sorry to hear of your family situation, but I know it is something you can do and they will appreciate immensely. Prayers are with you and your family. Vince will learn just what a treasure he has while you are gone and he has to do everything himself. Take care of yourself too.

  24. Being there for your family is the best thing you can do for everyone involved. We recently lost our 1st born Granddaughter to her 2nd round of Leukaemia. She passed just 10 days shy of her 21st B-Day. It was horrible watching my sweet little Granddaughter quickly deteriorating from this devastating disease. We were blessed to meet her step mother’s side of the family and introduced to her very best BFF. It seemed a little more comforting to meet the other side of her family. Her step Grandfather gave us a piece of mind (if you will) letting us know that she had accepted Christ as her savior, that was one of the main questions that were on our minds but we weren’t going to ask her that while she was still semi-coherent. I will always be grateful to that man for being there and giving us piece. So keep being there for your friend and her family as you can bring up fun, happy and comforting ideas and thoughts. God Bless you and continue to watch over your friend and her family.
    Jeri

  25. Thanks for letting us know so we would not worry. Thoughts and prayers for you all… what a blessing you are to your family.

  26. Hugs, thoughts and prayers as you all walk this unwanted journey. BTW, when it was my turn to be a dingbat, I left all my pants/skirts on hangers at home! Thank heaven for Target.

  27. Hugs and prayers to you and your family. I am sure they are thankful to have your there for whatever they need.

  28. I found out too late how much it means to someone going through that dreadful disease to have someone there. My friend told me after she recovered. Wish I had known earlier. So I know they really appreciate your presence. Your relative, you, and Vince are in my prayers.

  30. What a blessing that you can be there as long as necessary! I know your family will find such comfort in your presence and help. Hugs to you all!

  33. Prayers for your family member, you and Vince. Know that your very presence and an available ear are a God-send in itself. Hang in there. We will be here in the background.

  34. Sending hugs and prayers to you and don’t worry about us….we’ll be here waiting when you’re ready.

  35. Most people deal with cancer at some point. For me it was mother, father-in-law, husband and best friend … and hopefully that list is at an end. I don’t want any more. You will be as strong as you need to be, because there’s not another choice. I will pray for you, Judy, and for your family – all of them will need strength, so they are all included. Be as private as you want or not, you have made many friends out here, and I know I won’t be the only one praying for you.

  36. Judy ~ You are the best ~ your caring visit is the best kind of “medicine” for your family member struggling with cancer! Please don’t be concerned about your blog. Keeping you & your family in my prayers & sending hugs to all of you!
    Penny in So CA

  37. I’m so sorry to hear about your family member, you are absolutely right, cancer sucks! I know that you having you there will be a great comfort to the one suffering, and probably even more so for the ones that may be there on a daily basis. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Discover more from Patchwork Times by Judy Laquidara

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading