Home is where I love being but I’ll tell you . . some of the appeal of being home isn’t there anymore after spending time with Chad, Nicole and Adalina. I guess all grandparents experience this and it’s kind of a mixed feeling. I don’t want to be so close as to interfere with their lives and there are some things grandparents don’t need to know but 10 hours between us is just too far. The trip there didn’t seem nearly so long as did the trip home, and I spent the night in Tulsa coming home and drove straight through on the way. Makes no sense to me but I was beginning to believe I’d never make it home this afternoon.
For those who mentioned having them move here . . as much as I’d like to think this is where we’ll stay, I wouldn’t bet money on it. There are few jobs in this town . . I suppose that’s pretty much the way it is with most towns these days. There’s no reason for Chad to come here to try to find a job. He wants to end up in Louisiana and he’s trying to get a job there. If he does, that will make it easier on me . . I can go to Louisiana and see everyone in one trip.
This evening was cool . . the first cool evening since we got our patio furniture.
When we moved in, only two of the four ceiling fans worked. Vince took them apart, found they needed new capacitors so he ordered those and fixed them all and now they work like a charm . . much better than buying and installing four new fans/lights.
So, on my first night, we spent an hour or so on the porch, discussing the events of the past week and enjoying a glass of wine. Life is good! I’m glad to be home . . glad to get to sleep in my own bed but I sure miss the kiddos.
vickie van dyken says
Know the feeling…Love home miss the grandbabies. I tire myself out when I visit there…but it’s good to be home, with the doggies and my sleep number bed 🙂 mine are 1200 miles, 24 hrs away. Lucky for me my daughter lives a little over half way….so I try to get there and spend time with her…then on down to the grandkids in Corona, CA. Our high here today was 70..I hope we get a little more summer!
Terri says
My parents lived 2000 miles away from half their grandchildren and were only able to visit once a year or so, but those kids knew who they were. They talked to them on the phone all the time, My mom sent them a tape recorder and she would send story books and record herself reading the story to them. She would send them little cards and notes, and they just loved getting mail. There are a lot of things you can do to keep yourself in their little hearts between visits. I’m sure, as creative as you are, you’ll find lots of ways!
Marilyn Smith says
Oh Judy, how I understand. Our youngest son, wife and grands live 2 hours away in the San Diego area. Her parents have a weekend (retirement) home 10 minutes away from us so we do get to see them. Our oldest son lives in Honolulu..an expensive trip to make. We just got home yesterday from a week in Kauai and 5 days in Honolulu. We had a wonderful time. Great weather. Met his girlfriend whom we adore. Hoping our next trip will be for a wedding! Had dinner with her only close relatives the night before we left and it was a great evening. We miss him so much and have gone up to 3 years without seeing him. It is so hard. He has a good job and loves it there. Who can complain having to go from the So CA desert to Hawaii for vacation and seeing him.
I totally understand. Am so happy for Vicky who has purchased a home in LA….just where she wants to retire. Looks like a beautiful place! And the property has the perfect sewing studio area.
Maybe you can hop on a plane a few times a year and go for a visit without having to make the drive to MO.
Another option – send them the occasional plane tickets for a long weekend with you. Plenty of memories to be made.
It is nice to e home although I miss being away where it is cool. Have been gone since the last week of June and now have to put up with our 111 degree heat and humidity. Sigh. But, this is home.
lynne quinsland says
marilyn, it sounds like you are near me with your weather….i am in the victorville area–and yes, our humidity and heat has been horrible lately. nice to have a bit of cooler weather yesterday though.
i am blessed to have 4 (soon to be 5) of my grand kids a mile away. sometimes i feel like i see them too often LOL and the other 2 are only an hour away. being a grandma is one of the greatest blessings life has to offer.
Sarah in MI says
As someone still in the younger generation, I know it is hard on both sides! My parents live 3 1/2 hours away in Fort Wayne, and my husband’s family is about the same distance away in Cleveland. We moved here for his job, and have no family here at all. We have been very lucky to find a church with people who love our kids and encourage and support them. But there is also a little bit of good – visits are less frequent but more intense and probably more valued. My kids each get to spend a week at my parents’ house (different weeks) during the summer – something that would not be nearly as special if they saw each other every week, and a beautiful time for each of the kids to feel special and cherished. We’re starting to do more with writing to my parents to encourage writing skills, and the older child is starting to learn email. Is it as good as being in the same town – NO – but I guess we try to look for some of the positives and stay involved and close the best we can.
One thing I did when I found out I was pregnant was to start an online journal – this greatly helped when we got to the “who did you tell what” or “who knew major news first” issues – I just post it and let them read on their own time! I write almost every night, sometimes just a sentence or two, little things about our days. Being able to have people add comments is a neat way to preserve bits of family history when my parents respond with similar things I’ve done. I don’t add pictures, partly because that journal program isn’t so good for them, and partly because I think it would slow me down to have to get them off the camera. It’s been a really neat way for my parents and sister especially to stay connected with the kids – little things I would forget to tell them during a visit. they already know and can ask the kids about. And as a bonus – we recently downloaded and saved the whole thing as a backup, and I have written over EIGHT HUNDRED pages of stuff about my kids!
Shirley says
That porch looks so inviting. Remember I’m only a few minutes from Tulsa if ever your in need. Shirley
Toni in TN says
Both of our sons married women with control freak parents. The families took over and we were pushed out the door. Neither son has the guts to stand up for us. We have not seen nor talked to our grandkids in Victorville CA in over seven years. The youngest is now 17 so I figure if they don’t make any effort to have a relationsship with us themselves there is nothing we can do. It just breaks my heart.
Sandra Neel Hutchins says
Glad you had a safe trip. And you made it back across the Red River bridge! I know it’s not like those bridges across the Ohio and Mississippi on the way to Kentucky or some in Louisiana, but a bridge none the less! We will do anything to get to those grandbabies!
Angie says
Skype!—I have an online friend that has Skyped with her grand baby and daughter, son in law since the baby was tiny. The parents would hold him up to the web cam. He is now 8 yrs. old. They rarely miss a morning seeing and talking to each other. He lives in Canada, they live in the USA. I think this is such a wonderful way to stay in touch with grandchildren and family. The internet is great in so many ways. This is certainly one of those ways.
Cathy S says
Our son and daughter-in-law and grandson live 4 hours away, and it is really hard going to see them, and then having to leave. But, like Angie says, Skype is wonderful. It isn’t the same as being able to reach out and touch and hug them, but at least I can see them. And our grandson is now at an age, 15 months, where he is aware of what is going on with the computer screen, and interacts with me. His mother sits him in his high chair, and gives him a snack or his supper, and then puts the computer in front of him, but out of his reach, since he loves to play with the buttons. It makes for a nice 10 or 15 minute visit. So, it helps the heartache, a little bit, at least.
Demitra says
Judy,
Congratulations on a sweet grandaughter to love. When mine were born I started to sign anything I sent them with a hand drawn heart with eyes, mouth, arms with little hearts on for the hands and legs and feet. They grew up knowing when they saw that it was from me. At fourteen they still expect their little heart people on things.
Some of my grandkids were out of state so I referred to myself as grandma in a box.
Enjoy!
Demi
Kathleen says
You wouldn’t be money on staying where you are? I thought this was your forever dream home!
JanetB says
We sit on the porch in the afternoons. It’s a great place to unwind and reconnect with DH. We have a sign that says… “sometimes I sits and thinks… and sometimes I just sits.” Just about sums it up.
Peg says
Welcome to the Long Distance Grandparents Club, Judy! It’s hard to handle, isn’t it? Especially with the first one! My closest 2 granddarlings live 15.5 hours away; the other granddarling lives 22 hours away. I can still drive the 15 hours, but not the 22-hour trip. UGH. SO …. for you, I will ask the Universe to send Chad to Louisiana, if not someplace in Texas … and then enjoy your stories of grandparenthood! 🙂 (I’m thinking there have got to still be good jobs in Houston or Dallas … and SE Texas is an awful lot like Louisiana and [I think] closer to you; hence the Texas comment.)