Today is our 25th anniversary. I was reading an article talking about the secret to a happy marriage. I told Vince “I’m going to read you the secrets to a happy marriage.” Vince said “Oh, believe me . . I already know.”
Here are Vince’s tips on a happy marriage:
- Do as you’re told.
- Don’t ask questions.
- Remember everything you’re told because months later, there may be a quiz.
- Take no initiative because your wife will tell you everything you need to do.
- Eat everything your wife cooks, whether you like it or not.
- Do not ask your wife to go shopping.
- Do not ask your wife why she leaves all the drawers and cabinets open and never turns off the lights.
- When buying a home, remember your wife will occupy 80% of said house and the remaining 20% will be for joint use.
- Eat the brownies! (There’s a BIG story to this one!)
- If the wife isn’t happy, the husband isn’t going to be happy!
Oh, Vince!! You’re a funny man. The sad thing is .. he believes all this to be true.
I will not post a rebuttal to his 10 things but I will respond to just one – For 25 years, I have asked that he check the water softener salt and change the a/c filter on the first of the month. That’s 300 months. It isn’t like something frivolous I’m asking him to do . . it needs to be done. I’m not sure he’s ever done it on the first of the month. Sometime around the 10th, I’ll say “Did you change the a/c filter?”No, I’ll do it today. Then on the 15th, I’ll say “Did you change the a/c filter?” No, but I’ll do it now and I follow him around til he does it. In Texas, I changed the filters myself. I couldn’t get to the water softener. Here, the filters aren’t easy to change. I know I can but he has to do it with me a couple of times and when I say “Just show me how to do it” and he always says “I’ll do it! You don’t need to be doing it.” I can add salt to the water softener but he keeps the salt out in the shop . . not going out there and dragging a bag of salt back to the house.
OK . . the brownie story. You know Vince and I met on the internet and when we finally met in real life, we decided we’d each drive and meet halfway . . me from southwest Louisiana and Vince from near Atlanta so we met near Destin, FL. I had a recipe for brownies that had a crunchy, buttery nut topping. I’ve lost the recipe and so wish I had it back. I took a 9 x 13 pan of brownies and Vince never ate the first bite of them. I brought the whole pan home with me so for 25 years, we’ve made jokes about Vince not eating the brownies I brought for him.