I had mentioned that Addie was coming here, then she was going to a slumber party, and now she’s coming here. The story strikes me as a bit funny.
When Addie was here probably a month ago, she told me that there would be one weekend she couldn’t come to my house because her best friend was having a slumber party for her birthday. I asked when and she said “after Valentine’s Day”. That was the end of that discussion.
Then last week, Nicole called and said Addie wanted to come here for the weekend but that was our first week in the basement and, at that point, we couldn’t even walk on the wood floors so I talked to Addie and told her it would be much better if she could come this weekend. She said ok.
Then, Nicole called back Monday evening and said “This is the weekend for the slumber party.” Nicole went on to tell me that the “invitation” was a handwritten note from the little girl so Nicole wanted to talk to the mom about all this to make sure this wasn’t something the girls had concocted and make sure the knew about it.
Nicole wrote a note, stuck it in Addie’s backpack and told Addie . . I’ve written a note for the girl’s mom to call me so we can discuss this. If she doesn’t call, you’re not going! Monday evening she didn’t call so Tuesday morning, Nicole reminded Addie . . you’re not going if I don’t talk to the mom. Again, no call. They’ve had no school yesterday and today because of the weather and . . no phone call.
I’m thinking . . if the little girl is having a party and wants Addie to come, she would have made sure to give the mom the note. If the little girl and Addie came up with the idea, maybe she didn’t give the mom the note. Whatever the explanation, Addie is coming here this weekend.
I told Chad . . you need to make sure you know a bit about anyone before you let Addie go spend the night at someone’s house. In MO, you can run anyone’s name through an online database and see any criminal charges, lawsuits, traffic tickets. I told Chad .. you need to do that. I also told him I probably still have the list of questions I had that I asked before he spent the night at anyone’s home . . Smoke alarms? Fresh batteries, Carbon monoxide alarms? Guns locked up? Kids left alone?
He reminded me that he never spent the night anywhere because he was too embarrassed by his overprotective mother’s questions. I told him “Fine. I bet you end up doing the same thing when it comes time for Addie to spend the night somewhere!” He said “maybe” and laughed.
You cannot be too careful about what kind of environment your kids may wander into but you can do your best to protect them while you can. I would never have been offended if a parent had asked me if we had working smoke alarms and if our guns were in a safe. Chad did have friends who spent the night and, surprisingly, no one ever asked those questions.
Helen says
My girls knew I would call before they went to a party. I was not at all subtle…it was my job to keep them as safe as possible. I had one mother that said, “Oh, you’re the mother who called!” when I went to say hello as I took my daughter to the party.
The other thing I always told the girls was, “if you are ever in a situation that you are uncomfortable with, just call me and say you don’t feel well. I will be there to get you”.
Nancy H. says
I always told my kids if they were asked to do something that they knew I would be upset by that they could call and no matter what time it was I was out the door. I also told them as they got older if they were ask to do something they were uncomfortable with to say no my mom would kill me if I got caught. So blame mom for everything you want to say no to and anything you know your mother would punish you for if she found out. When told by one friend that your mom will never find out, one of my daughters said you don’t know my mom she knows everything. I think she works for the CIA or something. She has always told me that if anyone hurts me to let her know and the body will never be found.
Donna in KS says
We mamas can be bears when it’s needed! There were a few times in the course of raising three sons. It isn’t only girls that got warnings/advice/support already mentioned. The only lie ever encouraged was, ‘No, my folks won’t let me’. As adults, they can surprise you. One of our sons had called to let us know he would be giving the message at their church on a certain Sunday morning. I asked, “Oh, will you be preaching on …..?” He finally responded, surprised, that was exactly what he would be speaking about. The day arrived. We went to his church. In beginning he said, “first I have to tell my boys (he has 3 also), don’t ever try to put anything over on your mother! Mothers always know!”
Nelle Coursey says
I do not blame you or Nicole for what you did! You can never be too safe when it comes to your kids! I would be willing to bet it was something someone made up. Even if it is people you know of, you never really KNOW them!! Our kids are too precious to just let them go anywhere. It is not like when I was a kid and I had known them all my life, but there were some I would not even spend the night with!! You can never be “over protective” when it comes to your kids!
Janet Orr says
We have horses and when our daughters were young a neighbor called and asked if her daughter could come ride with ours some time. I said sure! Well – her next question made me mad. How good is your liability insurance? I told her to keep her daughter at home – she wasn’t welcome at our house any more. There is a limit on how far your questions should go. Protect yes – act like you are wanting to sue then no!
judy.blog@gmail.com says
I don’t think I ever asked questions that sounded like I wanted to sue and IF a question offended but I felt it was necessary, I would still ask it.
Honestly, with some people opting for very low limits of liability on car insurance, I might would ask to see their declarations page before letting Chad ride with someone else . . especially these days. It’s crazy for us to carry max liability insurance plus an umbrella, then get in the car with someone with the lowest liability limits and get injured – though our uninsured/underinsured coverage would cover us, it’s a bit frustrating that people will get the lowest coverage possible.
But, I do see your point. If you’re asking me to come do something at my house, and you are already thinking about liability, no . . stay home.