I’m going to say that I probably don’t make friends easily. I like to think it’s because we’ve moved enough that I’ve always left friends behind and when you only know someone for a few years and then move away, it isn’t always that devoted friendship that stays through the years. Everywhere we’ve lived, I’ve had at least one person that I’m sure would have been a BFF if we had stayed near each other. I’m also a loner and it seems like I was always busy at home. I have always been there for Vince and Chad. Lunch for Vince; pick Chad up after school. My days kinda belonged to the family and doing things for them and by the time I got Chad to school, lunch ready for 11:00 and picked Chad up at 3, there was never much time for other things.
Many times I’ve mentioned my friend who has been my friend since first grade. We have spent countless hours on the phone through the years. She’s a night owl so we’ve had almost daily late night conversations. Our house in Texas was so small that several times, I’d be in the family room talking to her and Vince would be in bed and I’d wake him up laughing. He never thought it was funny, even on the rare times I tried to explain what was so funny. If I went in the extra bathroom or bedrooms and closed the door, the internet didn’t work and I was using wifi for the phone so that never worked.
The other night she and I were talking about how far back kids can actually remember things. She said her husband had said he remembered things from when he was 2. I said “I don’t even remember kindergarten!” She laughed and said “That’s because we didn’t have kindergarten back then!” Kindergarten is the first year of school and that’s accepted and expected these days but that didn’t start til I was way past that age but it was funny. Someone who hasn’t been my friend forever would probably have let it go but she pointed it out and we had a good laugh. We talk about really important things like that and decided that our earliest “memories” aren’t really memories of the event but memories of someone telling us the stories. I really don’t know what I actually remember vs. what I’ve been told about early events in my life.
But the point of this story – her dad is really sick and the end is near. Her son and daughter-in-law have been providing excellent care for him these last few days but they have to leave on Sunday for a trip so my friend is going to have to stay with him, though sadly, there’s a good chance he won’t still be here by then. She was saying she hates to be there by herself and her son said “Call a friend to come stay with you!” She said “The only friend I have who would actually do that is Judy and she’s all the way in Missouri!”
What a nice thing to say! She feels like I’m that kind of friend. I told her . . if the weather here was such that I could actually leave and get there safely and not have to worry about leaving this house empty with this frigid weather, I would leave Saturday and go there but I just can’t and she understands why and . . she didn’t ask because she knows the weather in this area is pretty critical right now.
It made me feel good to feel that she feels like I’m that kind of friend . . even if I can be there when she needs me.
Elle says
You two are called “3am friends”. 🙂 Very special. My sympathy to your friend. I was with both my Dad and then my Mom 13y later when they died. It is hard, and it is a privilege.
Judy Laquidara says
You’re right . . it’s hard but something you’re glad to be able to do for them. Thank you. I’ll pass along your condolences to her.
QuilterBea says
Be there via FaceTime or telephone. It’s almost as good as being there. My prayers are with your friend – it’s hard and full of sorrow.
Judy Laquidara says
I don’t think she really has much time to do either right now and she was wanting someone there to help if she needed help with her dad.
Helen says
I have a lot of friends and a handful of really good friends—the friend that you might not see or talk to for extended time, yet if you need something, they would be there for you.
Like you, my family has always been my focus.
My heart is with your friend. As QuilterBea mentioned, FaceTime is an option to be with her.
vivoaks says
I guess I’m sort of like you. When I joined the Army I lost track of all my high school friends. Facebook and the internet brought some of them back, but not face-to-face, obviously. When I’ve wanted to stop and visit school friends when out traveling, hubby always made me feel like it wasn’t worth the time it would take, so we almost never did. I missed out on a visit with four high school friends about 10 years ago because he didn’t want me driving half-way across Pennsylvania by myself. I’m a decent driver, but it was winter, and it worried him….so I didn’t go. A year later I was very upset with myself for not doing that trip when one of those close friends died from a massive heart attack. I moved to where hubby was from when I got out of the Army, and although I’ve been here 44 years now, I can count on one hand the close friends I have here. One is my sister-in-law because she lives next door, but she’s 13 years older than my hubby – a few years younger than my mother, so it’s not your usual friendship. I’m glad for the internet and how much easier it is now to stay in touch with friends. 🙂 It DOES make a difference.
Nelle Coursey says
I am so so sorry to hear about your friend’s dad and I will be praying for her and for him. It is so nice to have friends that go back that far. I wish you could have stayed here longer but I understand the need to be near family. And you have already made friends with the people who had the house before. At least there is Chad and his family close by and these two new friends. I know Chad and his family would be there in a heartbeat if you needed them and so would the couple you bought the house from. You are safe there! Vince will be there soon and your family will be complete. I am just a phone call away and you know I am up until around 12 every week night. I don’t go anywhere because of COVID and once everyone gets the shot things will cool down and we can all get into a “somewhat” routine of normal.
Mary E Atchison says
I am so sorry your friend is going through this time of life. It is difficult, but I am glad I was with my dad when he passed. As much as I am a talker, I spend my days alone. I putter around my house too. I lost all of my friends when I moved to Kansas City to marry Rod. I have had friend/coworkers, but not anyone that is just a really close friend. I will say when I met you, you seem like the kind of person who would make friends easily…..and you laughed at my wedding story, so anytime I can make someone laugh, I feel like I have a friend…..unless they are laughing at me and not with me.
Judy Laquidara says
Mary! I am still laughing at your wedding story. Now, when I say “Mary”, Vince says “With the wedding dress?” I was laughing with you! I can’t believe we didn’t get thrown out of that restaurant. We had to be so loud.
Carmen says
My mom didn’t go to kindergarten and graduated HS at 16. My aunt was the same age as 2 cousins. They graduated in 3 consecutive years because, one went right to first grade, another to kindergarten, and my aunt didn’t go to kindergarten until the following year!