With Vince retired, we’re really together almost every minute of every day except for his occasional shopping outings when I’m left at home. The only time we’ve been apart for going on three years now is when I would go to Missouri. With Covid affecting this year’s trips, until we we bought the new house in August, we were hardly ever apart.
He was here for about 5 weeks and yesterday when he left, this house felt so empty. I fought back tears all day. I even thought a couple of times about loading up Boots and Rita and driving back to Texas but I knew that was crazy. Addie is looking forward to coming here Friday and staying til probably Christmas Eve and then after Christmas, or for sure after Chad leaves to go back to work, she’ll stay with me til school starts back up.
I also knew that once I got to Texas, I’d be ready to come back to MO and if I’m going back, it would be better to wait til it’s been a while since Vince was here. There’s not much left there for me to do. Most of what’s there that needs to be dealt with is what’s in the shop and I can’t do anything with that.
Also when Vince is stressed, and I know he is a bit, he’s a bit grumpy. I would be making suggestions he doesn’t want to hear and . . well, I’m staying here for now.
Last night I hated going to bed by myself. The bed always seems so empty and cold when he isn’t there. Over the weekend, a friend lost her husband and I feel so selfish and shallow feeling this way because Vince is 10 hours away and will be in Missouri full time soon and she’ll be alone, without the companionship and help of her wonderful husband for the rest of her days. So . . then I get sad that I’m being childish and . . it just wasn’t the best day . . but it wasn’t the worst day so that’s good.
During the night Rita woke up and I found myself reaching over for Vince because he takes her out at night when he’s here. Then when I went back to bed, I was wishing for him to get me warm again and that’s when I just got up, came in the living room, turned on the fireplace and stayed up. I did go back to bed about 7 and slept another hour.
Today I’m feeling better . . tomorrow will be better and Friday afternoon, Addie will be here. I haven’t seen her since Thanksgiving!
But, the best thing that’s happened today:
I’ve had a kitty sitting on my lap most of the day! After much loving, I moved him over to where he was halfway sitting in the chair and halfway on my leg. I could still pet him but I could knit. I think he’s still looking for Vince but yesterday he wouldn’t have anything to do with me at all.
We all miss Vince!