It’s just a few days til Addie will turn 8 and she could not tie her shoes. That frustrated me but it came under the heading of “choose your battles”. Almost every time I was with her, I’d say “Let’s learn to tie your shoes!” Nope, don’t want to do it. She could count to 10 in about a dozen languages, she can drive the RTV, she reasons a lot of things better than many adults but she had zero interest in learning to tie her shoes. She likes to try something once and if she doesn’t get it, she’s done. I think she feels like a failure if she doesn’t get something the first time she tries it so most anything I try to show her, I make sure to tell her how many times it took me before I got it. When she said she wanted to knit, I told her about how many times I had to rip those first socks back and how Vince kindly said “I don’t think you’re going to get this! Maybe you should give up.” Then I told her that anything she wants to do, she can do it though some things may take more tries than other things and I told her that when I see things I want to do, I always tell myself . . if someone else can do it, I can do it too. I’ve given her similar examples so many times because I think she sees way more adults than she sees children and she sees us doing everything fairly proficiently so she needs reminding that when she sees us doing things quickly and easily, it isn’t the first time we’ve done these things.
Nicole’s dad is a cabinet maker and he made both his girls a big wooden shoe with big shoe laces and that’s what they used to learn to tie shoes. He made one for Addie and told her the story about her mom and aunt learning to tie their shoes. Nope . . not interested.
At some point, I would probably have said “No dinner til you learn to tie your shoes!” Not really but . . maybe.
I really thought once she started to school and saw that everyone else could do it, she would want to but, she didn’t seem to care. She would come home from kindergarten with her shoes untied and she’d say “Teacher says she does NOT tie shoes!” Good for that teacher!
Her favorite tennis shoes have to be tied. I made her the pillowcase dress for herself and her doll. Those have to be tied. When she got here, I told her “You are not leaving here til you learn to tie your shoes” but I didn’t really push it. Several times when she’d want me to tie something, I’d say “Why don’t you let me show you how to do it?” Nope, that’s ok. Maybe after having been here five weeks, she decided I might be serious and the only way to get to go home was to learn to tie her shoes. 🙂
Yesterday she came to me and asked me to tie her doll’s tennis shoes. Those are tiny little laces and I didn’t mind tying those for her. She said “I think I can do it but I need just a little help!” I said “Let me get something bigger, you can try it on those and then try tying the doll’s shoes.” She grabbed her tennis shoes and it took her two tries and she had it down. She wanted to call her mom and Facetime and show her; then she wanted to call her dad and show him. Nicole was at work so she had to call us back but she was able to see Addie tie her shoes. Addie wanted to tie the doll’s shoes for Nicole and I was afraid that was going to be frustrating for her since the laces were so small, but she did that too.
Several times yesterday, she sat down in the floor with her tennis shoes and wanted to practice tying them so she could get better.