It’s just a few days til Addie will turn 8 and she could not tie her shoes. That frustrated me but it came under the heading of “choose your battles”. Almost every time I was with her, I’d say “Let’s learn to tie your shoes!” Nope, don’t want to do it. She could count to 10 in about a dozen languages, she can drive the RTV, she reasons a lot of things better than many adults but she had zero interest in learning to tie her shoes. She likes to try something once and if she doesn’t get it, she’s done. I think she feels like a failure if she doesn’t get something the first time she tries it so most anything I try to show her, I make sure to tell her how many times it took me before I got it. When she said she wanted to knit, I told her about how many times I had to rip those first socks back and how Vince kindly said “I don’t think you’re going to get this! Maybe you should give up.” Then I told her that anything she wants to do, she can do it though some things may take more tries than other things and I told her that when I see things I want to do, I always tell myself . . if someone else can do it, I can do it too. I’ve given her similar examples so many times because I think she sees way more adults than she sees children and she sees us doing everything fairly proficiently so she needs reminding that when she sees us doing things quickly and easily, it isn’t the first time we’ve done these things.
Nicole’s dad is a cabinet maker and he made both his girls a big wooden shoe with big shoe laces and that’s what they used to learn to tie shoes. He made one for Addie and told her the story about her mom and aunt learning to tie their shoes. Nope . . not interested.
At some point, I would probably have said “No dinner til you learn to tie your shoes!” Not really but . . maybe.
I really thought once she started to school and saw that everyone else could do it, she would want to but, she didn’t seem to care. She would come home from kindergarten with her shoes untied and she’d say “Teacher says she does NOT tie shoes!” Good for that teacher!
Her favorite tennis shoes have to be tied. I made her the pillowcase dress for herself and her doll. Those have to be tied. When she got here, I told her “You are not leaving here til you learn to tie your shoes” but I didn’t really push it. Several times when she’d want me to tie something, I’d say “Why don’t you let me show you how to do it?” Nope, that’s ok. Maybe after having been here five weeks, she decided I might be serious and the only way to get to go home was to learn to tie her shoes. 🙂
Yesterday she came to me and asked me to tie her doll’s tennis shoes. Those are tiny little laces and I didn’t mind tying those for her. She said “I think I can do it but I need just a little help!” I said “Let me get something bigger, you can try it on those and then try tying the doll’s shoes.” She grabbed her tennis shoes and it took her two tries and she had it down. She wanted to call her mom and Facetime and show her; then she wanted to call her dad and show him. Nicole was at work so she had to call us back but she was able to see Addie tie her shoes. Addie wanted to tie the doll’s shoes for Nicole and I was afraid that was going to be frustrating for her since the laces were so small, but she did that too.
Several times yesterday, she sat down in the floor with her tennis shoes and wanted to practice tying them so she could get better.
Stephani in N. TX says
Our kindergarten teacher had a request of all parents before school began for the year. Please teach your children to tie their shoes. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to keep shoes tied for 34 children? Son #1 got it quickly, Son #2 came home shouting a week into school about velcro closures for shoes. We bought some right away. Yay for velcro!
Judy Laquidara says
Addie’s kindergarten teacher was the best and she just flat out said “I don’t tie shoes!”
Dottie says
Good for her!
Elle says
Good for you! And yea for Addie. 8 seems old, but better late than never!
5 weeks! I’m super impressed that she continues to love being on your farm with all that farm life has to offer. 🙂
Judy Laquidara says
She did ask me today if there was anyone around to play wish. I told her to go out, walk around, see if she saw anyone . . child, adult, granny . . and come back and we’d see if we could arrange for her to play with whomever she finds out there. She reported back that the only person she saw was Grumps. 🙂
Teri says
What an accomplishment for her! WTG Addie!
Laura says
I’m one of those who thinks I should get it right the first time, so I can relate to Addie. And I’m 62 years old! It’s so good for her that you persist in showing her that it’s OK to make mistakes and that she should try, try again.
Sara Fridley says
LOL – picking your battles is always smart and less stressful. Local schools are asking parents in the elementary buildings to send their kids in velcro fastened shoes if they can’t tie their own. That way the teachers are not touching their shoes and laces un-necessarily. Maybe there is something ELSE Addie wants to be able to tie . . . like a sash on a Barbie dress.
Tricia says
Tell Addie that I am so proud of her! Learning how to tie her shoes is great, but learning how to keep trying is even better! I’m also Really Proud of her grandma for teaching her this valuable lesson and for persisting when the going got tough!
Nelle Coursey says
Good for you!! And good for her! She learned something new and she is going to be the best shoe tying person in her class!
Bon says
Sometimes one just has to be ready.
annie says
awww, cute story.Congrats, Addie, on the success!
QuilterBea says
I hate Velcro on shoes! I’m in the camp with the teacher – I don’t tie their shoes when the should know how. ?
Susan Nixon says
It just takes the right moment to decide this is it. I’m glad she hit that moment. =)
Sue lord says
My youngest Grandson was at least eight before he learned to tie his shoes. In a few weeks he graduates from high school. He is an honor student and will graduate with some college credit. Shortly after graduation he will be leaving for college. Tying his shoes was not as important to him as it was to all of the adults in his life!
Judy Laquidara says
You’re so right! I didn’t want to make her feel bad that she couldn’t tie her shoes and I figured she would learn when she was ready but I also didn’t want her to be the only child in second grade who couldn’t do it so I’m thrilled that she learned and now, if her shoes even look like they may come untied, she will stop, untie them and re-tie them and she has learned to make a double knot.
Congratulations to your grandson. Sounds like he’s an amazing grandson and a wonderful young man.
moneikquilts says
My 9 year old couldn’t tye her shoes until last year. She was perfectly happy wearing velcro shoes until they no longer made them in cute styles she likes. Once she figured out the cute shoes tied, she learned very quickly. I tried when she was 5, 6, & 7 and she didn’t have the dexterity to tie them easily. Her brother who is 7 learned at the same time and pretty quickly as well. I often think we try to force kids when they aren’t really old enough. I’m so glad they both know how now.