Please take this post in the way in which I intend it. I am not critizing. I am not saying “my life is so great”. I am not saying “you need to improve your life”. Read til the end and I’ll try to summarize what I am trying to say.
A couple of days ago, I was kinda on a rant on Facebook. I was cleaning out my friends list and there were people on there who I don’t even know. I’ve never anything from them. A cursory search of their name on the blog reveals that they’ve never commented on the blog. Why are they my friend? I don’t know. I went to their Facebook page and some of them haven’t posted anything in months!
I understand that someone may be a prolific poster and then something happens and you don’t post for months. It really isn’t my business whether anyone posts or not . . I had never checked before and probably never will again.
But it kinda made me think . . it’s not fun to have “friends” who never post! What if you invited me over for dinner and it’s just the two of us and I never say a word? What if I’ve not said a word the last three times you saw me? Are we really friends? It’s not fun being friends with someone who never shares anything with you! It’s kinda one sided.
So, I posted something like “Why aren’t you posting? It’s no fun if it’s one sided.”
I was really surprised at how many said “My life is boring”. Or, “I never have anything happen that’s worth sharing.”
So . . let’s stop right here . .
- It’s really ok if you never post on FB. It’s even ok if you aren’t on FB. It’s ok if you are my friend on FB and never comment on what I post. It’s ok if you don’t even read what I post.
- It’s ok with me if you think your life is boring IF you’re really ok with that.
- You owe me no response to this or to anything else I ever write.
But, this really got me to thinking and it kinda made me sad. I am not telling anyone or even suggesting how to live your life. But, I would be kinda sad if my life was boring.
What I think/hope is that their life really isn’t boring but they either don’t know how or don’t take the time to write about it. I love to write and I understand that some may not love to write. I don’t like to lean house! It’s bad!! 🙂
So, if you’re reading this and you think your life is boring but your happy with your life, then you’re doing great. Don’t feel like you have to change a thing.
But, if you would like to communicate more on Facebook or anywhere, here are some things I want to share that might help.
When Chad was in high school and he had to write a story, he froze. He HATED writing and it was torture. One day after we had just returned to Kentucky from a trip to Louisiana, I sat down with him and said “Let’s write about our trip to Louisiana”. We each got a sheet of paper and agreed to meet again in 30 minutes.
Honestly, Chad wrote “I went to Louisiana for spring break!” I’m not real sure he even included “for spring break”.
I wrote about three pages. I wrote something like:
We got up bright and early on Saturday morning and left home to drive to Louisiana. It’s a 14 hour drive and we often spend the night somewhere along the way but this time, we planned to drive straight through.
I had already written a lot more than Chad and we hadn’t even let the house yet. Then I gave him an outline similar to this:
- Did you take books to read or music to listen to along the way?
- Where did we stop as we made our way to Louisiana?
- Where did we eat? What did you eat?
- What was the most interesting thing you saw as we traveled?
- What was the most boring part of the trip?
That was just the trip there . . I wrote out questions about what we did while we were there; who we saw; the fun parts; the boring parts; and then trip home.
I can go to my mail box . . boring trip . . rock driveway and nothing to see but I can almost always come up with an entire blog post about what I saw in the 10 minute walk to the mail box and 10 minute walk back.
OK .. you want to know what happened yesterday that was super gross . . the grossest thing that has happened to me in a long time? Yesterday when I was walking to the mail box, I saw one of these gross fuzzy caterpillars that have invaded our area. He was on the pipe gate about knee high. I thought . . I can just karat kick that caterpillar! I did and somehow, I managed to do it in such a way that all his oily, black innards went right up my leg. Oh, did I mention I had on shorts and nothing to wipe off that mess? I went back to the house and thankfully there was a roll of paper towels in the back of the RTV so I grabbed one and cleaned my leg. That is so gross.
That’s what a boring trip to the mail box got me!
My challenge to anyone who wants to write more – if you can take photos with your phone . . keep it with you every minute of every day and take a million photos. When you have a bit of down time, go through those photos and see if you can write a story to go with them. You wouldn’t believe how many photos I take each day and 99.9% of them get deleted at the end of the day but several of them give me blog posts that I enjoy writing.
In summary, here’s what I’m trying to say:
If you think your life is boring, and you’re happy with it, then I”m happy and I think you don’t need to change a thing.
If you think your life is boring and you’d like to share more on Facebook or blog posts but you don’t think anyone wants to read about your life, please just try writing and sharing.
Some of you may not know this but I started blogging in 2004. There were weeks, months . . maybe years that I never had comments. I just kept writing because I love writing. I was shocked and kinda intimidated when I did get my first comment. Someone was reading what I wrote! That’s definitely history.
Another thing you may not know . . my life is pretty boring! Most people would go nuts living the life I live. I rarely see people (and I like it that way except for Chad, Nicole and Addie). I rarely leave home. Some days I don’t even comb my hair. But, we are living the life we love and the life we worked hard to build. So, do I care that probably everyone else would think my life is boring? No! I love my life.
One last story: In probably 2002, we rented a cabin in Ellijay, Georgia for a week for spring break. It was a remote cabin on a trout stream. I took my sewing, a friend from Atlanta came and spent a couple of days with me. Chad and Vince fished. One afternoon we took a walk down the stream. We came across a tiny little run down cabin in the woods. An old (really old) man came out to talk to us. We told him where we were staying and talked a bit. The next day, the elderly man and his very fragile wife walked down to our cabin to invite us back to their cabin for pie. We accepted and followed them back. We visited with them and enjoyed her pie. The old man taught me all about Jerusalem Artichokes and gave me some, which I took home and planted and they produced like crazy.
On our walk back to our cabin, Chad said “I think they’re lonely!” I agreed but I’ve often thought about them through the years. I later came to think they created a life they loved and wanted to live out the rest of their lives in their happy place. Of course, we’ll never know if they were lonely or living a life they loved. But, we cannot judge how other people look at their lives. We can be happy and celebrate the happiness of those we know are happy and we can try to help those who wish their lives were a bit different.