Patchwork Times by Judy Laquidara logo

Boring Life?

Please take this post in the way in which I intend it. I am not critizing. I am not saying “my life is so great”. I am not saying “you need to improve your life”. Read til the end and I’ll try to summarize what I am trying to say.

A couple of days ago, I was kinda on a rant on Facebook. I was cleaning out my friends list and there were people on there who I don’t even know. I’ve never anything from them. A cursory search of their name on the blog reveals that they’ve never commented on the blog. Why are they my friend? I don’t know. I went to their Facebook page and some of them haven’t posted anything in months!

I understand that someone may be a prolific poster and then something happens and you don’t post for months. It really isn’t my business whether anyone posts or not . . I had never checked before and probably never will again.

But it kinda made me think . . it’s not fun to have “friends” who never post! What if you invited me over for dinner and it’s just the two of us and I never say a word? What if I’ve not said a word the last three times you saw me? Are we really friends? It’s not fun being friends with someone who never shares anything with you! It’s kinda one sided.

So, I posted something like “Why aren’t you posting? It’s no fun if it’s one sided.”

I was really surprised at how many said “My life is boring”. Or, “I never have anything happen that’s worth sharing.”

So . . let’s stop right here . .

  • It’s really ok if you never post on FB. It’s even ok if you aren’t on FB. It’s ok if you are my friend on FB and never comment on what I post. It’s ok if you don’t even read what I post.
  • It’s ok with me if you think your life is boring IF you’re really ok with that.
  • You owe me no response to this or to anything else I ever write.

But, this really got me to thinking and it kinda made me sad. I am not telling anyone or even suggesting how to live your life. But, I would be kinda sad if my life was boring.

What I think/hope is that their life really isn’t boring but they either don’t know how or don’t take the time to write about it. I love to write and I understand that some may not love to write. I don’t like to lean house! It’s bad!! 🙂

So, if you’re reading this and you think your life is boring but your happy with your life, then you’re doing great. Don’t feel like you have to change a thing.

But, if you would like to communicate more on Facebook or anywhere, here are some things I want to share that might help.

When Chad was in high school and he had to write a story, he froze. He HATED writing and it was torture. One day after we had just returned to Kentucky from a trip to Louisiana, I sat down with him and said “Let’s write about our trip to Louisiana”. We each got a sheet of paper and agreed to meet again in 30 minutes.

Honestly, Chad wrote “I went to Louisiana for spring break!” I’m not real sure he even included “for spring break”.

I wrote about three pages. I wrote something like:

We got up bright and early on Saturday morning and left home to drive to Louisiana. It’s a 14 hour drive and we often spend the night somewhere along the way but this time, we planned to drive straight through.

I had already written a lot more than Chad and we hadn’t even let the house yet. Then I gave him an outline similar to this:

  • Did you take books to read or music to listen to along the way?
  • Where did we stop as we made our way to Louisiana?
  • Where did we eat? What did you eat?
  • What was the most interesting thing you saw as we traveled?
  • What was the most boring part of the trip?

That was just the trip there . . I wrote out questions about what we did while we were there; who we saw; the fun parts; the boring parts; and then trip home.

I can go to my mail box . . boring trip . . rock driveway and nothing to see but I can almost always come up with an entire blog post about what I saw in the 10 minute walk to the mail box and 10 minute walk back.

OK .. you want to know what happened yesterday that was super gross . . the grossest thing that has happened to me in a long time? Yesterday when I was walking to the mail box, I saw one of these gross fuzzy caterpillars that have invaded our area. He was on the pipe gate about knee high. I thought . . I can just karat kick that caterpillar! I did and somehow, I managed to do it in such a way that all his oily, black innards went right up my leg. Oh, did I mention I had on shorts and nothing to wipe off that mess? I went back to the house and thankfully there was a roll of paper towels in the back of the RTV so I grabbed one and cleaned my leg. That is so gross.

That’s what a boring trip to the mail box got me!

My challenge to anyone who wants to write more – if you can take photos with your phone . . keep it with you every minute of every day and take a million photos. When you have a bit of down time, go through those photos and see if you can write a story to go with them. You wouldn’t believe how many photos I take each day and 99.9% of them get deleted at the end of the day but several of them give me blog posts that I enjoy writing.

In summary, here’s what I’m trying to say:

If you think your life is boring, and you’re happy with it, then I”m happy and I think you don’t need to change a thing.

If you think your life is boring and you’d like to share more on Facebook or blog posts but you don’t think anyone wants to read about your life, please just try writing and sharing.

Some of you may not know this but I started blogging in 2004. There were weeks, months . . maybe years that I never had comments. I just kept writing because I love writing. I was shocked and kinda intimidated when I did get my first comment. Someone was reading what I wrote! That’s definitely history.

Another thing you may not know . . my life is pretty boring! Most people would go nuts living the life I live. I rarely see people (and I like it that way except for Chad, Nicole and Addie). I rarely leave home. Some days I don’t even comb my hair. But, we are living the life we love and the life we worked hard to build. So, do I care that probably everyone else would think my life is boring? No! I love my life.

One last story: In probably 2002, we rented a cabin in Ellijay, Georgia for a week for spring break. It was a remote cabin on a trout stream. I took my sewing, a friend from Atlanta came and spent a couple of days with me. Chad and Vince fished. One afternoon we took a walk down the stream. We came across a tiny little run down cabin in the woods. An old (really old) man came out to talk to us. We told him where we were staying and talked a bit. The next day, the elderly man and his very fragile wife walked down to our cabin to invite us back to their cabin for pie. We accepted and followed them back. We visited with them and enjoyed her pie. The old man taught me all about Jerusalem Artichokes and gave me some, which I took home and planted and they produced like crazy.

On our walk back to our cabin, Chad said “I think they’re lonely!” I agreed but I’ve often thought about them through the years. I later came to think they created a life they loved and wanted to live out the rest of their lives in their happy place. Of course, we’ll never know if they were lonely or living a life they loved. But, we cannot judge how other people look at their lives. We can be happy and celebrate the happiness of those we know are happy and we can try to help those who wish their lives were a bit different.


Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Thanks Judy! I needed that “nudge” to share. I love the benefits of social media to see what my friends are doing, but I’m pretty lazy about posting. I’m going to try.

    • Just try . . it probably isn’t for everyone. Didn’t mail your package yet because we’ve had horrible humidity. Storms now. I’ll mail it Monday.

  2. I really enjoy reading your posts Judy. I first started following you when you quilted. I even have your borders book. I don’t knit or have chickens or even like to cook. But, I enjoy your posts because you make me smile and laugh. Thank you!

  3. I read your blog every day…and look forward to it. Sometimes it gives me a chuckle for the day…sometimes a tear. If you don’t write for a day, I miss it. I consider us ‘friends’. I am always telling my husband about you and VInce and what you guys are doing….and I always start the conversation with “my friend, Judy, in Texas”. We are rather boring out here in the middle of the Mark Twain National Forest in Missouri…but it is how we like it.
    I do your color challenges and sometimes other challenges, too.
    So, keep up the good work and keep writing, my friend, and i’ll keep reading.

  4. Hi Judy, your life sounds good to me! I don’t remember when I found your blog (through quilting somehow) but I’m also a friend on Facebook. Maybe you have deleted me as your friend because I don’t post a lot because I struggle with how much I want people to know about me and my life. I grew up on a farm knowing how to do some of the things you’re doing. We live in a rural subdivision now which is not where I want to be. Its a compromise. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, you’ve inspired me to do what I can here. Thank you!

  5. I’ve read your blog faithfully for a very long time and have your border book. I love your stories, your conversations with Vince. I read many of your comments to my husband.

    After 39y as a surgery RN, I retired last July. I love having an empty calendar and doing what I want when I want. I have time for quilting, knitting, reading and gardening is more relaxing because I’m not doing it at 8pm because I worked till 6. When harvest came on, we were cooking/canning/processing until midnight some nights. Last fall, I could be done by 8 (hubster likes to be part of it so I do prep before he comes home, we have dinner and then we can go straight to it.).

    So, if my life is boring, I’m with you! I love it this way.

    • That doesn’t sound boring at all to me. I think about people who fly off here and there and go to Broadway shows (back in the day when that was allowed!). It sounds exciting to some. It sounds like torture to me. Sitting still at a movie theater is the hardest thing for me to do and I’d rather have a root canal than go to a movie. Sounds like you have a great life and you’re happy with that and that makes me happy!

  6. I guess it depends on what you want out of life. With the lock down, I am happy to be home and enjoy my “thinks” and play in my garden this summer. I retired Nov 1st. Now I can breath and do as a wish, no late nights at work. Hubby retired almost 10 years ago. He hates to be at home, always on the go. Sits in coffee houses and plays cribbage with who ever says yes. Going from one to another, making the rounds. This lock down has made him “twitchy” , the last few days he has gotten in his car and just drives around going no where. If I am going to sit, I would rather sit in my yard, listen to the birds and watch the world go by. Now if I could just go see my kids and the grands, I would be totally happy.

  7. Great post, Judy! I feel we each make our own happiness in life. I have been on my own since my husband passed nearly 15 years ago and my closest family is 500 miles away. So, I could “feel sorry for my lot in life,” but I do not, nor am I bored. I am so grateful to love quilting, knitting, embroidery, etc. I am in the process of finishing three more comfort quilts to donate to our local foster kids and the assisted living at our local hospital with more on the horizon. Even being self-isolated due to a compromised immune system has not been that difficult as I am used to being by myself and can always pick up the phone to call and hear a friendly voice. Life is good.

  8. Thank you for this post, Judy. I had a Facebook conversation this afternoon. The discussion was whether or not we would be ready to go out to a restaurant. Several people said yes because they wanted to live their lives.What were they doing the last couple of months? I enjoy my boring life. And, I enjoy your boring life, too. LOL

  9. This afternoon I was helping my 11 year old grandson with his school work, his mom and dad have continued to work so I have had he and his sister during the day. He has to write in his journal everyday about something that happened that day and it is suppose to include a different part of speech everyday. Alteration we find easy but he was having trouble with hyperbole which is what we were working on today. I love your list of questions has we are having a tough time coming up with things to write about after barely leaving the house for the last two months. I need to think outside the box and try to help him see life around him thru a different lens.
    I love to read your blog and look forward to it. I don’t really do Facebook the targeted ads creeped me out. I sort of felt like I was being stalked by them.
    By the way my sour dough bread is improving. My granddaughter who is a very picky eater even likes it.

  10. As restaurants are starting to open up and keep social distancing. I said to my husband ‘ I would enjoy going out to a restaurant like that’.
    Why? Because you would have a quieter, more relaxed eating environment. I don’t enjoy eating out because of the noise and the fast pace.

    • I agree and often when we’ve left a restaurant, I do not feel relaxed and like I enjoyed the meal, even though the food may have been really good. Most restaurants seem hectic and too fast paced but then we probably just end up at those type restaurants.

  11. Our ‘ new normal’ is very satisfying as we read, discuss, do paper crafting(me),gardening in containers( Randy),enjoy real food, rock on front porch and converse with passerby on street. Life is good even with scary news and predictions. A year ago we were with friends in New Zealand. Catching up with friends on Skype, blogs, and phone IStore he new order 2020. We enjoy our life and found many things to really enjoy!

  12. I too love to write Judy and live a life very similar to yours–a bit farther out in the middle of nowhere–but similar. I don’t find my life boring at all. I don’t feel the need to always be going somewhere or finding something to do–a movie, shopping, etc. I too am glad I like to cook or else we would be in trouble living out as far as we do on both ends of the country. Keep on writing!

  13. Amen! I know our lifestyle isn’t for everyone, but I LOVE our life and I just want everyone else to love theirs without judging others for the choices they’ve made. Build a life YOU love! You and Vince have done that and thank you for sharing it with us. I don’t understand how people can be bored. Like you, I find a hundred different things in a day that capture my attention. I don’t care if anyone reads what I blog about. I write for myself, but it’s nice to find your tribe. 😉

  14. My husband and I like our “quiet” life. We do pick up and go on trips every once in a while, but for the most part we like being at home puttering around. However, I may have to take a year long cruise beginning in August when my husband retires. It will give him time to adjust.

    Your story about Chad reminded me of an assignment my son had every week his junior and senior year in high school. His teacher (small school, same teacher both years) called the assignment “Monday Morning Miseries”. They had to write a one page paper (at least 3 paragraphs) about something, anything. Mind you, he was in a school designed for students with special needs and she knew it was a very difficult task for them. She chose to teach them to see that you could push through a difficult task with some humor, recognizing that even though it was difficult, you could get through it. It is amazing how well he can write now and he is not afraid of it, but let me tell you, we had some pretty miserable Sunday evenings that year. She was an excellent teacher and I will forever be grateful to her.

    I really enjoy reading you blog, it is a perfect read with my first cup of tea!

  15. I read some blogs every day because they post everyday (and don’t use bad language) and because I like the things they talk about. But I do have to be careful what I write about, due to my husband’s job (No Facebook!) And I don’t think I should write about my grown kids’ lives.
    I’ve NEVER figured out how to post photos to my ancient, unused blog. NEVER. I noticed that you said to keep your phone with you and take lots of pictures, but you did NOT say how to move the pictures from the phone to the blog post. That’s where I stall out. Last year I was visiting my oldest son out in Utah. He tried to help me with my phone problems, took it, and after a swipe or two, informed me that I had over a 1,000 pictures in the “cloud.” It was News to me! I wonder how many there are this year! My husband said, “I wonder where he went to get that information?” (So he doesn’t know everything either….)
    I like to write also, but computers annoy me with their “sudden” changes to my learned procedures. My husband is a computer whiz, but hates the fact that I can’t remember what he showed me how to do once last year, and once the year before that. Even when I carefully follow his instructions which I have written down, the computer has changed its methods and my paper trail is useless once again.
    A DIL told me to just keep playing with my blog and eventually I would figure out how to post pictures to it. But I get so frustrated when nothing leads me towards linking a photo to my blog, that I can’t remember what button I last pushed or how to get out of whatever window I am in!!
    OK, so this is a blogpost in itself, sorry about that. But there are lots of people who read blogs because they are having problems like me and can’t create their own. So we enjoy other people’s stories!!
    Thank you for yours!!

    • There are hundreds (probably millions) of ways to get photos from the phone to where ever you want them. I use an Android phone and use a Photo Shop Express app to crop them, then email them to a gmail account. Once they’re in the gmail account, because I use a Chromebook, I have access to anything “Google” and I upload them into the blog from there.

      A lot depends on what blog host you’re using, how it’s set up or how you have your blog set up; the operating system on your computer. I’ve done it all kinds of ways and with an iPhone before I started using Android phones. It shouldn’t be hard but it may take a few tries to find an app you like.

      A lot of apps, you can send directly from the phone to FB or mail, which is pretty much the way I do it.

  16. I’ve been following your blog for several years and would miss it if you ever stopped. I’ve never met you in person but I feel like we’re friends because of all you’ve shared. I tried to blog but the picture-thing frustrated me and I quit. I often think my life is boring, but I’ve worked hard all my like to make it and I really enjoy it.

  17. I read your blog nearly every day, and sometimes comment. You’ve emailed me several times, and I appreciate it. I only post every few weeks or so on Facebook, but I try to make it entertaining! Also, I’ve had a Facebook friend request in to you for quite some time … I’d sure like it if you would accept it. 🙂

  18. I love your life too! I love vicariously through your blog every day, I’m fact it’s one of the highlights of my day. I don’t comment often but you can bet I read all your blogs. I started following you via your quilting although I think it was toward the ending of your quilting as I didn’t know you have a boarder book.

  19. I enjoy reading your blog, hearing about Cat, and Boots, and Rita, and your family. I am always amazed by your gardening. We don’t plant here until Mother’s Day. Just this week I finally was able to plant some tomato plants (and then I had to cover them against hail!).

  20. I absolutely loved this one! Thanks for sharing your life with us.

    • You’re welcome! So nice to be reconnected after all the years, even though you probably feel like I’m not the same person you knew all those years ago. No fancy shoes now; no earrings to match every outfit! 🙂

  21. I’m sure I’ve been reading your bog for at least 10 years and I’m always in awe of how much stuff you get done. Once in a while I even comment lol

    • I doubt I get as much done as you think I do. I think it’s just because when I write it all down (and you know I can make a story last forever!), it seems like much more than it really is. If you wrote down everything you do in a day, you’d probably surprise yourself at how much you did.

  22. I live in a small town near one of the Great Lakes in Ontario, Canada. I love reading your blogs about your life in a rural area of Texas. I too refer to you to my sons as my blogger friend in a Texas. I identify with you most of the time. I have been widowed now for almost four years. We celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary and less than three months later my husband suffered a massive heart attack as we were getting ready to take our two dogs for a walk. He was like your Vince. He loved to make me laugh. We were best friends. My heart is still broken. Keep blogging Judy! ??

    • I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s just not fair! Life sometimes is terribly unfair but we have to keep on keeping on. I can’t imagine life without Vince. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it’s easy but most of the time, it’s wonderful.

  23. Hi from Nebraska–I’m one of the daily readers who hasn’t posted anything for several years. Always love hearing of you chickens, gardens, canning, etc etc. Also the kids. Watching your sweet grand daughter growing up is neat too. For several years reading your blog was my break in the day.24/7 care of my hubby kept me from doing much else. Then he got to the point where I couldn’t take care of him so he had to go to a nursing home. Went almost every day for 2 years. Only time I didn’t go was when it was nasty or I was ill.
    Then loosing him and adjusting to my new normal.
    Still love looking through your quilting book. So you can see its been a long time since I made contact, but you sure have filled my days when I can read your posts and find there are others who love to garden and love to work with their hands. So just keep it up and know how many peoples lives you make better by writing your posts.

    • I’m sorry for your loss. I remember when you commented often.

      Thank you for the kind words. That’s very sweet and encouraging.

  24. My husband and I have been staying home since the first week of March. He has Alzheimer’s and is in the high risk range for the virus so he has hardly left the house since the beginning of March. I do any grocery shopping that is needed. He has never had any hobbies, can no longer enjoy reading and has forgotten what to do with a computer. He was a computer programmer, but I am now the “computer guru.” Luckily I have my knitting, quilting, and reading to keep me entertained. I didn’t know you had a borders book until I saw it in the comments. Well, I now have it too. I bought the digital version from AQS. It looks great and I am looking forward to reading it. Daily reading of your blog is something I look forward to and my husband does enjoy the stories about Vince. Maybe our life isn’t boring because we are just “easily amused.” Thank you for your great blog.

    • Sharon, I’m so sorry you and your husband are going through this. That has to be so hard! Just reading about you having to be the computer guru . . if Vince ever can’t fix my computer, there will be no blog because I can screw up a computer 5 minutes after he’s fixed it. I don’t know why he hasn’t taken every computer away from me and hid them.

      I’m glad I’m able to provide a little bit of humor/amusement in your day. Good luck!

  25. As you know, I love reading your blog and what you and Vince are up to. You make it sound so funny and fun. I don’t think anyone would find my life exciting. But I am one of those that is contented with my life. I guess I am kind of a personal person. Does that make sense? LOL I could stay home and not go anywhere for days. I know a lot of people are different and that is ok by me. I really think working for the state gave me a very bad attitude about some people. If I stay off the internet, and just live my life, then I do better. Right now all my time is devoted to Rose and trying to get her comfortable. She has COPD and is having trouble with her breathing. But she has had 14 great years with us. Love her so much! Just like you love Rita and would do anything for her.

    • I’m so sorry about Rose. I know how much you love her. That’s all we can do with our pets is make them comfortable in the end years. It seems like just yesterday we went through that with Speck. He’s been gone over two years and I still miss him and can cry just thinking abot him.

  26. Hi, Judy! I’m one of the ones that said my life is boring. I retired in November after working 17 years in the grocery store. I’m not much of a cook or housekeeper although I’m planning to give no-knead bread a try soon. I love to read, especially your blog and a few others. I used to write a blog but a few years ago when they had all that EU privacy stuff, I didn’t know what to do to be legal so I just quit writing. It must have gotten closed down eventually because I can’t access it any longer. I never wrote much. Mostly only when I participated In a few quilting blog hops or when I was trying to learn something new. I do miss it sometimes. Facebook isn’t quite the same. I do post pictures to Facebook quilt groups that I’m in about quilting, paper piecing or making mini quilts. I have commented here a few times but not too often because I’m usually reading this at three In the morning and I’m a little tired. I will try writing more often but I really do love reading about how other people live their lives. Thank you for sharing yours with all of us!

    • Sherry, I’ve mentioned it before but after Chad was born, I quit working. I had gone through school, and began working right out of college and had never not worked. I was so lost, even with a newborn. I actually kinda felt bored and I was quilting and sewing a lot back then. My husband would come home and I was dressed and all ready to go out to eat or go visit . . anything. I’d been home all day and I was pretty miserable. I had to learn to entertain myself and find the new me so, after having worked as long as you did, you may be still in that “finding you” stage. Then the virus came along and changed life as we knew it so . . if I were you, I wouldn’t feel like my life is boring but maybe look at it with anticipation as to what the “new you” is going to really be. I would never have predicted 30 years ago that I’d love being alone on land out in the woods living the life we live now.

  27. Hi Judy, I enjjoy your blogs. I never miss reading them. You have a real “knack” for writing. I often feel that I’m right there in person with you enjoying a conversation.

  28. Hi Judy, I also live what most folks would consider to be a boring life, but it’s my boring life and I enjoy it! I always read your blog (one of very few I regularly visit) and have done so for years now. I started because you were a quilter, also lead the kind of life I’d love – not the snakes – definitely NOT the snakes……..love the cats and the chooks and Vince cracks me up! I enjoy seeing what you bake and freeze and grow each day, I love my garden and critters, I bake, make bread and knit as well as quilt. Great life, but not for everyone. PS my son could be Vince’s twin when it comes to old gear, his Doc Martens are 23 years old….Yes – he still wears them

    • I could definitely do without the snakes too! I understand your son and his Doc Martens. A good, comfy pair of shoes never goes out of style and I’d hate to give them up too.

  29. We met when I was in charge of programs for the Prairie Quilt Guild in Wichita KS! My good friend Donna Bradbury had met you at a class and “knew” you were what we were looking for!! She was right! After living in the Texas panhandle for six years and then Wichita for 19 we returned home to Colorado. Family including the two grands and their mother-in-love are here. Our son and daughter are still living in Texas. I see and hear you in each post! I rarely write–which some friends would sigh with relief as I tend to be prolific with words!! We spent our first 14 years of marriage in the country and the past six years back in the country! My only regrets are leaving great friends eight hours away and our lush green grass in the yard. I read you every day and often answer or make comments in my mind! Until next time……………..

    • It is hard to leave friends AND green grass! I so miss green grass. Thanks for reading the blog. Please never feel like comments are required.

  30. I love that last story! I haven’t been blogging much, not because life is boring, but because other things are happening and there’s no time. And now … it’s ice cream time, I think!

  31. I want to tell you I am back. I am the one you helped when I started to knit socks from KY. I have not been reading blogs like i used to but during the pandemic I have looked up the ones I really like. I am still long arm quilting and making quilts and cooking more than usual thru this, I still have my fabric shop. I thought of you over the weekend wondering how your husband was doing and where your son and family is now. Is he still with Walmart. I plan to start reading you everyday again since I have discovered during this time….I can slow down since tomorrow is another day. Paula in KY

    • Thanks for the comment. Vince is doing great. He retired two years ago. Chad stayed in Nevada, MO when we moved but he left Walmart about a year ago when they had a big cutback in the number of assistant managers and he got cut. He got another job right away. It’s one of those things that seemed very bad at the time buy turned out to be great for him. He’s happy with his job, works way less hours per week, but has less vacation time. He still moans about the amount of vacation time he gave up but keeps regular hours now so it gives him more family time.

      I hope we’ve all learned a lot during this pandemic shutdown. Good luck to you!

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