This is so wrong. Everything I’m about to say is just wrong. If you had any respect at all for me, you will not if you read this.
Vince likes all kinds of junk food. I like homemade cookies, homemade pies. I’m not much on eating storebought cookies or pastries or weird potato chips. Vince will come home with vinegar potato chips; or black pepper and curry or something weird like that. I like just plain potato chops. Not Doritos. Not Fritos. Not anything but plain potato chips.
I will hardly buy them because I know they are so unhealthy but sometimes I do buy them and as soon as we weren’t going to the store any more, I started wanting potato chips. I held off ordering for over 10 days and then I ordered these.
I ordered three bags on March 20. They were supposed to arrive a long time ago. I understand the delays. I just want my potato chips!
I’ve waited. Walmart said they were delayed. Then they said they were delayed again.
Today a small box arrived from Walmart.com. I said “Please let it be my potato chips!” Vince said “You ordered potato chips?” I did! The box had pickle relish. I told him he could have all the pickle relish and I could have all the potato chips.
They’ve finally shipped. Got the notice late last night. I’m trying to figure out how I can sneak them into the house and hide them so I don’t have to share. I wouldn’t mind sharing (maybe) if he LOVED potato chips but he’ll just eat them because they’re there when he’d be just as happy with Doritos or Fritos . . except we have neither so he’s going to want some of my potato chips . . unless somehow he doesn’t know they’re here.
I have a couple of days to figure this out. It’s probably impossible. We know when someone drives up. Vince usually goes out. He sprays down the boxes. Then he puts the gloves on and opens the boxes. If I did that, he’d know something is up.
Maybe if I say “Oh, I meant to cancel that. Don’t open it. I’m going to send it back . . some day!” Would that be wrong?
Plain potato chips . . I can hardly wait!