When I’ve mentioned the books that Vince reads, several have commented that he needs to find himself a good fiction book. That’s just not Vince. He’s such a deep thinker and a no frills kind of guy. If there had been anyone who knew both of us well, but separately, they would been completely apprehensive about us getting married. We’re so different. I am not a deep thinker. I can be but, for the most part, if I want to do something or have an idea, no matter how crazy it is . . I want to do it NOW! Vince wants to think everything through, research it to death and then decide not to do it .. except for the bargain shopping cheap stuff he buys and the one thing he never thinks about is . . where am I going to put this?
Seriously, you could throw out any aspect of life that really matters and we’re totally different. Family. Friends. Religion. Spending. About the only thing we’re on the same page with is that we love living out in the woods away from people.
But, it’s those books he reads that’s probably the main reason we’re together now.
Before we were married, I was living in Louisiana and he was living in Georgia. Vince had been divorced longer than I had and his was quite amicable. Mine was dragging on and on and my divorce was anything but amicable. It was downright hostile and involved visits from the police a few times. It was one of those situations where you never think of yourself as being involved — crazy people get into messes like that . . but there I was.
I felt the walls closing in. A long distance relationship. A child who was not coping well with the divorce, mainly because his mom was falling completely apart and not being a very good example or a strong parent that a child needed to get through something like that.
I told Vince that I couldn’t keep up with everything and I needed to concentrate on getting my life in order and getting Chad on the right track. So . . “we” were over. He told me he wanted to spend one hour with me. Being too weak to fight, I agreed. He got on a plane and flew to Louisiana.
He had a book . . I wish I knew the name of it but he had been reading it and he had page after page marked. He stayed in a hotel. We went to dinner one day, went back to his room and spent probably two hours. I was in awe that he had been reading and reading about how to help me cope with what I was going through. He was so wise and so strong and I realized that he was just want I needed; and just what Chad needed and I was about to push away the one person in my life that I needed most.
The rest of that story is history. You know . . not the end of the story but you know where we are now.
A couple of years later, we still weren’t married and Vince asked me “What was it about that day in the hotel that caused you not to give up on us?” I laughed and told him . . it was the white shirt!
I don’t know if it’s the same white shirt as he’s wearing in the picture but there’s something about that man in a white shirt! He’s dark and . . I don’t know but any time I’m mad at him now, he’ll come out wearing a white shirt and we both start laughing.
So, just like some of you, every time he tells me about a book he’s reading, I want to say “NO! Read a love story! Read something funny!” but then I remember the white shirt and the book and all the pages bookmarked and the way he patiently shared everything he had learned . . all to help me.
I can never fault him for reading those kinds of books. I don’t know where I would be today if he weren’t the deep thinker/reader of boring books/fixer that he is . . and that white shirt! 🙂
Elle says
Marriage in interesting with a detail loving nerd isn’t it? My husband of nearly 40y is in IT and he is a major do-it-yourselfer. It’s all in the details-but only online. I saw him read an actual book about 35 years ago? Online he is voracious-and plenty of YouTube.
Gotta love our nerds 🙂
Dianne says
I love that photo!! I see a Judy that is dressed to the nines, everything all matching…Wow, how you and I have changed over the years and our lifestyles….LOL
Judy Laquidara says
That’s why all my friends who knew me “back in the day” can’t believe how things are now. I’m much happier in my life now and I know you are too.
Dianne says
Yes, we are!!
I have people who are friends on FB who will send me a message and say “This post doesn’t even sound like you” They can’t believe I’m in the country on a farm and growing our own food and canning.. They don’t know what they are missing!!
Kathy says
What a sweet story! And the perfect description of how you both make it work.
shirley swift-bruner says
that is such an inspiring story….and so very cool. just like a romance novel. haha i’m glad the two of you got together and are still together.
Teri says
SWEET. Love the photo.
w jordan says
Love your story. Yes she was a pioneer woman and good at everything she did. In Her last years she wasn’t herself.Vince is a keeper for sure.
montanaclarks says
That’s a cool story!! The Cowboy is much the same way–will not read fiction, frugal (I spend), serious, doesn’t like to socialize, does not have the family connection I do, etc.–but we are still married.
Andrea says
My relationship with my husband is the same as yours with Vince. If there is something one of us loves the other can be expected to disagree. After 30 years together we are still finding ways in which we are different, and we just laugh about it. Sometimes opposites really do attract!
annie says
cute story, made me laugh!
Kathleen says
I wish more people would concentrate on what we have in common, not what we disagree on. Things are so divisive now mainly due to politics. We’ll never move forward if we reject each other over ideology. Quilting brings me together with people whose views are totally different from mine, but I concentrate on what we share.
Nelle Coursey says
What a sweet and wonderful thing for him to do.
Susan Nixon says
That is the sweetest love post I ever read, Judy. It’s so real and beautiful. Thanks for sharing. It’s good to think back on that when things are ridiculous. =) Generally, men do prefer non-fiction to fiction. In my classroom, I was always careful to have plenty of both so both boys and girls could find great things to read.