A friend left a comment wondering why we don’t build instead of buy. I figured others might be wondering the same thing so I’ll share our feelings here.
First, in all seriousness, I’m not sure our marriage could survive a building project and we have a pretty strong marriage. For Vince, it’s the dollar that matters. If I LOVED tile that was $100 more than one I didn’t love, he would insist on the one that’s $100 less. If you remember 5 or 6 years ago when we added granite countertops, we got into one of our worst battles over the granite choice. He actually wanted a horrible shade of green granite. Then, there was the sink. I love stainless sinks. We had the black granite composite sink the house we rented here. I hated it. We had the same sink in this house when we moved in and I hated it. He wanted it again. I had been begging for him to change out the cast iron sink at our house in MO and put in a stainless sink for the 4.5 years we lived there and he wouldn’t so I was excited to finally get my stainless sink. Nope . . we got the black granite composite sink. The sink in the kitchen that he rarely uses and has never cleaned. Then there was the backsplash. I wanted subway tile – a lighter, shiny tile. He insisted we get a dull, tan ceramic tile that cheap and that’s what we have! I can make compromises but I will not build an entire house with bargain basement choices for colors, floor, tile, etc.
Then, get this: The other day we were looking at pictures of houses online and one had a stainless sink.
Me: Oh, I could get my stainless sink!
Vince: Why are you saying that? YOU chose the sink you have!
Me: I did not! I begged not to get that sink!
Vince: I remember you wanting that sink.
Oh, no! I went back to the blog. There were several posts about me NOT wanting the granite composite sink and Vince wanting that one. Thank goodness for evidence! 🙂
Second, both of us have built houses, though with other spouses, and we have bought houses. Vince and I have bought four houses together. Buying is so much easier and less stressful.
Third, it would probably take longer to build than to buy a house. We want to be on the water or at least have a water view and we want at least several acres of land. Finding land on those Corp lakes is very difficult. We want a walkout basement so finding a walkout basement lot on a lake makes it even harder. We don’t to be on a paved street/highway so that makes it even harder. I could see us looking for years to find the right building lot for the house we want. It’s much easier to find a lot when you’re looking to build in a subdivision or near a town.
Then to find a builder. That area is booming with real estate developments and good builders are booked for months and months. We talked to a couple of builders about building a shop for Vince if we find a house without a shop and there’s almost a year wait to get just a shop built.
We will get moved in much faster if we buy a house. If we decided today to build, I can see it being at least a year or maybe even two years before we could get moved in, due to having to find a lot, get a well in, get electricity lines run, then get our plans drawn, get on a builder’s list and wait til it’s done.
We’ve actually only been looking in that area less than two months. We are picky . . I’m sure our realtor thinks we are very picky. There aren’t a lot of basement houses there. When I look online there are about 1,000 houses listed within 20 miles but realtor.com brings up houses that are way farther than 20 miles from town, but less than 100 with basements. Also, get about 25 miles from town and you’re back in Missouri and Vince won’t move there because of taxes so we’re a bit limited.
The problems, which aren’t problems really but they reduce the houses that fit our parameters, are:
- walkout basement
- either separate a/c units or zoned for basement
- acreage
- at least 3.5 bathrooms
- stained wood (vs. painted) kitchen cabinets
So, we’re buying a house. We will find one that we can both be happy with. There’s no rush!
Tricia says
It seems wrong to me that Vince gets the deciding vote on house projects that are your domain. YOU are the one doing the work in the kitchen (a LOT of work–that he gets to enjoy daily!), and so YOU should be the decision maker in that realm. In my house, my husband does the cooking; so, he gets to choose the meals and cooking supplies. I get to choose when and how I do the cleaning-up. I would never tell him which desk to use, nor would he ever tell me which sewing machine to buy. I like Vince, but I’m Team Judy on this issue! Remind him that there is value in a happy wife in a well-functioning kitchen beyond what saving a few dollars can buy!
Connie H. says
Don’t forget gas stove! Or at least the option to add one. Best of luck with your search!
Judy In MO says
Here’s the rule in our house. “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
carolyn says
I’m with you Judy…we just listed our house today and are looking to downsize. We don’t have as many needs as you do and are going into a small town, but the nice houses are being snapped up so fast! There was one that was listed yesterday that we have an appointment to see tomorrow and was listed as contingent today! They haven’t cancelled our appointment yet, but I’m afraid to go look at it! If ours sells quickly we’ll be looking at 100 year old fixer uppers….
Cilla says
I bought a 250 yr old fixer upper 26 years ago. We are still fixing it up. I call it my money pit. The 2 of us did build a 32X32 barn with my quilt studio above it, 30X 18. It’s finished, Long Arm made it up there (21 stairs) so I have a happy place.
Sherry V. says
If you are not planning on moving again you really should get what will make you happy. You are always in the kitchen.
Sometimes cheap is not worth the money.
Linda in NE says
I hope you find that perfect house before Addie hits junior high & doesn’t have time for you any more.
Judy Laquidara says
Even if we do find a house, I’ll be 4 hours from her. I still go to MO for two weeks every two or three months so it isn’t like I’m not seeing her because I’m not living in Arkansas. I think we’ll be able to find a house within the next 6 years. We’ve only been looking a little over 2 months!
Teri says
Love this post! Just curious though — why so many bathrooms? And how many bedrooms do you want? Hope you find the perfect place for both of you.
dezertsuz says
I know one will come up that you can both agree on – you’ve done it four times in the past. =)
Ruth says
Just think, if Vince doesn’t remember who wanted that composite sink, and the backsplash, you might be able to turn that to your advantage in the next house. Or find an installer who will take your bribe/full price under the table and tell Vince “It’s on sale today!”
Diane Russell says
I was just thinking about this yesterday.My thoughts were to buy acreage, enough for you two to build a house and shop and for Chad and Nicole to do the same, but a distance away. This way you both would have the privacy you want and yet still be close to the kids. It might be the only way you and Vince would get what you want.