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The Iowa Chowder Lady

When I went to search for my Iowa Chowder recipe Friday and realized the recipe I had posted online was gone, and that I had given my printed copy to someone else, I started typing an email to Darlene, who had given me the recipe. Since I wanted the recipe NOW to make for dinner, I wasn’t sure when Darlene would see it and get back to me and it was about that moment that I remembered Way Back Machine and was able to find it there.

Shortly after posting the recipe, I began to receive emails from several of her guild members letting me know that Darlene had been diagnosed with cancer in March, 2013, had mostly been in hospitals and rehab facilities since and had passed away in September. That news hit me hard . . mostly because there was so little time between the time she got sick and the time she passed away.  She was home very little.  Like so many of us, she had a nice sewing room with fabric and sewing machines and I can imagine that she sewed all the time and then began feeling bad and maybe a little worse, went to the doctor and by that time, she never really had a chance to do much else as far as “normal” activities.

Darlene had a wonderful family — a funny husband, two sons, a daughter-in-law and a grandson.  In the few days I was in her home, she showed me pictures, talked about her sons, daughter-in-law and grandson so that I felt like I knew them by the time I left.  She was just a wonderful lady – a mom, wife, grandma, quilter, baker . . someone just like most of us, and her life ended much too soon.

It made me think about my own life. We never know what tomorrow holds. When my time comes to go, I want to leave with no regrets and since we never know when that time is going to come, I try to live each day knowing that I’ve done the best I could with the circumstances I have.  Since receiving the news, I’ve spent most of the weekend . . not dwelling on death, but just thinking about how quickly things can change and re-evaluating some of my priorities. The news was kind of a punch in the gut . . maybe a wake up call of sorts.

So as not to end this post on a down note . . Jan from St. Louis told me that Darlene had written an article for American Quilter and it was published in the July, 2013 issue.  I think it was Friday when she told that. I wondered why I hadn’t read the article because I get American Quilter and usually go through it cover to cover.

I keep a magazine and a sock knitting project in each of our vehicles so that if we’re out and Vince decides to go on a marathon shopping trip, if it isn’t too hot, I’ll sit in the car and knit and if it is too hot, I’ll grab the magazine and find a place inside to sit and read. I guess after all these years he didn’t realize that I do that because at the beginning of the week he was cleaning out the Honda and he brought both the knitting project and the magazine in the house and said “I found this in the car.  Did you know it was missing?”  I explained the reason they were in there and told him I would put the socks back in there but I would leave the magazine in the house because for the next few months, it would be cool enough to sit in the car and knit if I found myself not wanting to go in and shop.

Last night, we were getting ready to go to bed.  Vince was in the shower and I was putting my knitting away for the night.  The magazine he had brought in was sitting on the end table and I keep putting the laptop on top of it.  I had not even looked at it.  Just as I was sitting the laptop on the magazine last night, it hit me . . I knew that if I looked at that magazine, it was going to be the July issue of American Quilter.

American Quilter

American Quilter

I almost didn’t even want to look because it was such a weird feeling that had just come over me thinking about how that issue had just been brought in the house and then I’d heard about Darlene’s passing and there was the issue .. still wrapped in plastic and not even opened.

Darlene's Article

Darlene’s Article

I’m sorry that Darlene’s life ended too soon but I’m thankful that I met her and spent a few days in her home, thankful that she shared her soup recipe with me, thankful that she gave me a jar of the sorghum made by her family and that we loved it and keep a good supply of Maasdam’s Sorghum in our pantry.

Darlene’s quilt in American Quilter is named “Meet Me in St. Louis.”  I’m very glad I had the opportunity to meet Darlene . . in St. Louis.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. I’m so sorry at the loss of your friend. I know that sometimes years can pass and it seems like only yesterday that we’ve seen or spoken to somebody we love. We should all take a moment to call up a friend or loved one and say hello. Thank you for the reminder. <3

  3. I’ve been trying to finish up my projects because I do not want to leave quilt tops and such. I want to leave completed projects. One never knows when their time runs out

  5. As my husband says, the one thing we know is that we never know.
    Delightful tribute to your friend.
    I get the digital issues, so I went back and read her article. I also remember the quilt that inspired her.
    Thank you for being you.

  6. Judy, beautifully written. Yes, suddenly one day we will all face a tough reality that we really didn’t think would ever happen and it is tough on all including those near and dear. It’s a wake up reminder to enjoy every minute if possible and be thankful for our joys. Thank you.

  7. Judy, beautifully written. Yes, suddenly one day we will all face a tough reality that we really didn’t think would ever happen and it is tough on all including those near and dear. It’s a wake up reminder to enjoy every minute if possible and be thankful for our joys. Thank you.

  8. That’s the way I lived, as if life would go on as always. Then the dreaded diagnosis of brain cancer and within a year my DH was gone. I really thought we had so much longer to enjoy each other’s company, travel more, go to the movies and out to dinner. It’s hard to fathom how different your life will be when a close friend or family member is no longer there.

  9. I’ve lost several really good friends in the past three years. Two in an accident and one to a fast moving cancer. I’m working hard to finish all my UFO’s and PIG”s so my daughter won’t be forced to sell all those unfinished projects in a yard sale for $5 each.

  10. Oh Judy…I’m so sorry that your friend passed away. Your post was poignant and very beautiful.
    (My husband and I also “raise cane” and make sorghum molasses…I’d love to send you some.

    Blessings…

  14. Judy, this was a lovely tribute to Darlene and I’m so glad you got to know her. She was full of life and always had a kind word for everyone. She will truly be missed by many friends and family.

  17. Judy – you were missing from posting as much as normal this weekend – those of us that follow you so closely missed your upbeat, interesting stories this weekend and now after this posting I think I know why you were missing…….. It is so hard to lose friends (and family) and the evil cancer is surely taking too many of my friends and acquaintances too !! But just think how fitting your tribute to her was !!!

  18. I am sorry for the loss of your friend and send my condolences to you and her family.
    I am an Iowa native and have lost my Iowa Chowder recipe, too. Please post it when your find it.
    Phyllis in Iowa

  19. I was lucky enought to sit by Darlene at last year’s Shipshewana retreat and missed her this year. So sad to hear of her passing.

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