I remember the first time Chad left to go to college. I put on a brave . . or maybe it was somewhat wimpy . . smile and waved goodbye as he drove away but never in all my life had I felt my heart breaking like it did that day. Believe me, I know that there are much worse things that can happen and I understand that he wasn’t gone forever . . just moving into the dorm an hour away but for me, that was a huge separation. I was glad he was growing up, glad he was going to college, looking forward to some time alone with Vince and not being a full-time parent as in . . what time will you be home for dinner, don’t use all the hot water til we’ve had our showers, run water in your milk glass . . that kind of stuff. So, my head knew it was a great thing that he was moving off to college but my heart just didn’t quite get it.
After he drove away, I walked into the house sobbing. Vince didn’t get it . . he’s not a mom! Aren’t you happy he’s going to college? Yes! Aren’t you glad he’s only an hour away? Yes! Aren’t you glad he’s coming home every weekend for his job here? Yes? Aren’t you glad we have some alone time together? Yes! So, what’s the problem? I guess I want him to stay home forever!
No, I really didn’t want him to stay home forever but I got past that hurdle of him driving away and it was a few days before I got up the courage to go downstairs where his room was . . where I sat and sewed and listened to his duck calling from his room, where he came out to talk to me while I was sewing or quilting.
When I went downstairs . . I smelled his body wash and smelled his cologne and then I cried again! But, that was several years ago and I’m mostly past that.
This weekend I was digging through boxes looking for something and I found this:
I pulled out the scissors with their little macrame cord that Chad had made when he was in elementary school and the tears flowed again. I remember him buying that pink cording and he told me he was making something for me and he made this because I’m always losing my scissors.
When he gave it to me, I was happy to have it. I kept these by my longarm and they weren’t so easy to lose with the bright pink cord. At the time, I never dreamed how much I would miss him or thrilled I would be many years later to find this little masterpiece. It makes me want to dig through more boxes to find more treasures butt hen it’s always so nice to find things like this, things that bring a flood of good memories . . find them out of the clear blue when I’m not expecting it.
Patty says
What surprises me is that you haven’t gone to see that baby yet. I would not be able to wait.
Patty
Sandy says
When dropping my first child off at a university hundreds of miles from home I was weepy, too! That was long before e-mail and smart phones, but we survived. We did lots of letter writing then!
Kristen says
Having one son that you are very close to is hard. I have one son and today I was tearing up just thinking about him going to college (we have few years yet)…It is so fun to see them grow and mature and then turn into wonderful adults, but so hard to be the one left behind!
Pat McGuire says
Wow! This couldn’t have been more timely. We just returned from moving our grandson, who we have raised, to fire academy 8 hrs away. All those feelings and then shaming myself for feeling this way. I’m not the only one. I look forward to more time with my husband and not having to cook every night, but then. Thank God for skype and texting. Ha!
Ranch Wife says
WAH! Blubber, blubber! Honestly, Girl! How am I supposed to get anything accomplished when you post memories like this? It’s all I can do to keep my own daily ‘missing my chidlers’ in check on a daily basis. This really is a precious memory though and I am sure that Chad’s childhood is filled with them as well. Our boy just called from Afghanistan today and I am a complete mess, but very thankful for those phone calls every 2 weeks or so.
Diana W. says
Oh I SO GET YOU! You know my Jess is the same age as Chad and she just moved out to her own place. It is 5 minutes away but still I get choked up. Oh I still see her plenty but it’s not the same. The house seems kind of empty now. Sniff….
Becky I. says
I our children will always be “children” in our hearts. I got a 30 minute phone call the other day and was estatic just to visit with my son. They do grow upso quickly. I only regret I didn’t realize it when they were little so I could have savored it a little more. Cherish those little treasures, we all do!
Kathy says
Aw, now I’m all teary too. Sending my firstborn off to college for the first time at the end of the week. But he’s going to be very far away… Pennsylvania, compared to home in Washington state. Great treasure to find with lots of wonderful memories.
Kathy Alden says
And he just gave you the best present of all, a Granddaughter!!
Alma says
I understand.
Been there!!!
Lee says
My boy is still too young to even drive yet, but I was going through some memorabilia the last few days and I can relate to those feelings … for me, it’s of missing the toddler out-goingness, that pre-schooler wonder, the fun activities and adventures of elementary school and seeing how much he’s physically changed in 13 years of life. Everyday he’s looking more like a man and I know the days you describe will be upon us before I know. Memories are a wonderful thing 🙂
lw says
I’m having some of the same problem– I’m living 2500 miles away from my daughters and grandbaby. Before we moved, my youngest and her family were living with us while they searched for a house, so the little one came home from the hospital to our house. The tears are healthy– how can we keep from missing the ones we love?
Well, it won’t be long before you get to go see that precious little one and kiss those adorable chubby cheeks– she does look an awful lot like Chad’s baby picture.
Dee Johnson says
Wow, so relate to this. My son was 19 when he joined the Navy – cried for days. Really sobbed when they sent all his worldly clothes home while in boot camp. Now 20 years later he helped us build a house in our back yard. So glad to have him near. Do miss my baby girl though – got married and lived in the back yard and then hubby got a job in WI – 2 hrs away – sobbed again. Miss my baby girl being close. She’s coming home this weekend:)
Denise :) says
LOL! We’re really all quite alike, aren’t we? I bravely held it in when we dropped my oldest off at college … until the car was out of sight. Then I bawled like a baby! Just thinking about it (especially after reading your post) makes me teary-eyed again!! 🙂
Doris - The Quilting Queen says
I can so relate to all of this. Been crying all afternoon/evening after talking to Hollie. Try sending them to Japan for three years. I feel like they have cancer or something and are dying when they leave in a couple of weeks. This too shall pass but not before I shed a few more tears and have a few more gray hairs.
Linda Steller says
Aw, big smile to read this. I find things every now and then given to me by my nieces or nephew and they bring a smile to my face too. My best is a friendship card my niece gave me when she was about 5 years old. She wanted me to be a member of her friend club. I’ll cherish it forever.
Jennifer Collard says
Isn’t it just wonderful to find a lovely reminder of a past time?
My son and daughter are grown and I would have kept them forever, but alas, they flew away, and left me with an empty, dusty nest. They both married and I am deprived of grandchildren thus far— bummer! Still I know I’m a rich woman, as are you, for we live, we love, we laugh and cry. I love your blog and if I had to pick only one to read in my lifetime, it would be yours, because you are so wonderfully human and are a shining example of what it means to be a true lady, as well as a woman. Keep writing! Jennifer
Elizabeth Johnson says
Oh, I understand totally! I love finding my girls treasures. I still cry too!