Probably 8 years ago or more, I sold the longarm I had and bought a new one. For the few years before I did that, I was quilting a lot. Then I bought the new one and even though I loved it, my quilting mojo was gone and I think in the time that I’ve had the new machine, I quilted three tops on it. I had wanted to sell it before we left Texas and Vince didn’t want to. He was sure I’d get the quilting bug again but . . I haven’t and I may not. The longarm has never been set up here.
Yesterday we were talking about me knitting again and Vince asked if I thought I’d ever quilt again. I told him I doubted it. He said “We should sell the longarm.” I agreed and then he said . . we could put the treadmill and exercise bike in there (the sewing room).” When Vince puts one thing into a room, it seems to become his 4th or 5th or 10th storage room and it fills up. Over two years ago, he said “I’m going to put these boxes of books in the sewing room just temporarily!” Two years later, they’re still in there. When I say “Are you going to move those boxes of books?” he says “Where would you like for me to put them?” I want to say “the donation box”, but I don’t. Vince cannot make a trip to the flea market without coming home with a bundle of books. I haven’t seen him read a real book in years. He reads on the Kindle.
When he mentioned the exercise equipment . . I said NO! I don’t want to feel greedy (but I guess I do) but that’s my sewing/craft room. It has the sewing machine, the serger, the coverstitch machine, my cutting table, the walls are lined with shelving units and they have everything from fabric, to tubs of yarn, to boxes of freeze dried food and canned foods. There’s a love seat in there, along with a recliner. I’ve always had a sewing/craft room that’s been 100% my space. I have a stitching setup with a magnifying lamp and when Vince wants to watch TV in the downstairs family room, and it’s something I don’t want to watch, I go sit and stitch in the sewing room and leave Oscar with Vince. I go in there and sit with Boots, I sit in there to read, it’s my place of solitude and I’m just not willing to give up a few square feet because I know soon, the entire room will be “our” room and no longer “my” room. When we bought this house, since we hadn’t seen it, Jeremy sent me a copy of the drawing with room measurements and we decided that would be my sewing room so it isn’t like I came in before he got here and decided which room would be mine.
He has his shop that is heated and cooled. The downstairs garage is probably 25′ x 14′ and it’s heated and cooled. There’s a third bay in the main level garage that’s super long . . like for a boat or something. Vince uses that whole side for storage. His storage includes shovels, weed eaters, mowers, etc. but we don’t have a lot of that stuff here.
Both of us have a LOT of things we need to get rid of. I asked him this morning if we can start going through two boxes each day, putting things where they belong, donating or tossing. He said yes . . we’ll see.
Wish us luck . . one – that we get the downstairs garage cleaned out and two – that the exercise equipment doesn’t end up in the sewing room.
Am I being selfish and unreasonable?
Teri says
No you are not being selfish and unreasonable! You need your private space. Wishing you good luck with going through boxes. I need to start doing that too!
RuthW in MD says
Keep fighting, Judy!! Keep Vince’s stuff OUT of your sewing room. Whenever he suggests putting something in your area, just start listing off all the rooms he has to store stuff in. It sounds like he has more than one….
judy.blog@gmail.com says
I’ve already calculated the square feet that’s his private area and the square feet that’s my private area (not counting the storage rental units) and by far, he has more than I do but he says the mower and garden equipment, etc. is in HIS space but really, it’s a lawn mower. The shop has a room for the mower and some of his outside stuff so it isn’t even in the square feet I used to calculate his space.
Julie Thomas says
No, you are not. He has his shop that’s just his, plus plenty of other areas. Your sewing room is just yours. ?
judy.blog@gmail.com says
That’s what I said and then I start second guessing and wondering if I shouldn’t say “Ok! Put your stuff in the sewing room!” I know I’d be sorry because it will never leave if he puts it in there.
Liz says
. You deserve your own space especially since Vince has his “man cave” or the shop. And, doesn’t he have one of the bedrooms for his office? Do you guys still rent the offsite storage units that has a lot of stuff?
I know that I haven’t sewn anything recently, but I am still interested in doing something with my fabric and projects. I am thinking of making quilt tops to send to people who like to finish the tops for charity.
I think we all have stuff to get rid of… someday.
judy.blog@gmail.com says
Yes, he has the third bedroom which is the second largest in the house. He’s also filled Addie’s room. Yes, he has his shop and yes, we have two 15 x 20 storage units rented (and they don’t have my stuff in them!).
Donna Williams says
Absolutely not being selfish. Hold your ground on that one.
Cindy F says
You are not being unreasonable at all! You have areas large enough for each of your hobbies and you shouldn’t have to share that space. Hopefully Vince will get with it and start going through stuff. I understand the reluctance to do that as it’s a chore no one wants to do. We kind of get into spurts here and there to go through things though it’s been awhile since the last time. The other day my husband suggested getting a storage room somewhere and I said no! That would be going in the wrong direction! We already pay storage for a sailboat we haven’t used in more than 8 years. I want to get rid of that too as I don’t see us using it.
judy.blog@gmail.com says
Yes, it’s been three years in August since we rented three storage buildings. We’re now down to two!
Linda in NE says
I was thinking that if Vince can’t seem to find the time to go through a couple boxes a week maybe you should just load up a couple a month and haul them to a thrift store for donation. I don’t know about Missouri but around here it seems every little town has a thrift store.
Carol says
we are purging our house little by little, just too much STUFF! We recently donated about 300 books at the very least to our public library sale. And over 100 of those were quilt books, ones I know I would never use again, and so many books we know we would never read again. But someone will like them! There are still books but every load up there is progress.
judy.blog@gmail.com says
I went through my quilt books before I left Texas and a friend knew of a guild in an area where a lot of quilters had lost their homes. I can’t even remember if it was a fire or a tornado but I gave her several big boxes of quilt books that I knew I’d never use. That freed up a whole five shelf book case. It does feel good to send things on to someone who should appreciate them and make more storage room for us.
Joyce says
You are not being unreasonable. Everyone needs at least a small space to call their own. All of my spaces are full to overflowing, so I’m trying to start purging stuff I either didn’t want in the first place (thanks to a friend who buys stuff from thrift shops without asking…) or stuff I know I’m not going to ever use. It’s a time consuming task!
Deb E says
Vince has several “man caves” while you have ONE. It’s not reasonable for him to ask you to let him ‘store’ some things in there — if he needs storage room he needs to make room or organize area in one of his caves. You know the saying “If Mama ain’t happy, NOBODY is happy?” It applies to Mama’s ‘cave’, too! (I’m the same way with my quilt room!) : )
judy.blog@gmail.com says
I agree but I hate saying NO!
Kathy says
If he puts his stuff in your sewing room, then you get to build a heated/cooled shop for yourself. Stand your ground.
Kathy
judy.blog@gmail.com says
Great idea.
Amy says
You could give up your sewing room for an outside chicken coop. 🙂
Rebecca L says
Stay strong! You really do need Your Space.
As for the boxes of books that have already made an incursion to Your Space, it seems to me you have listed, in this post, several places they could go (easy to say from the outside.)
karen says
I’m a little late jumping on this bandwagon but you are absolutely NOT being selfish. We all need someplace that we can call our own space – especially if we have our own ‘stuff’. I have a small bedroom full of fabric, yarn, linen, cross stitch patterns and all the gadgets and gizmos that go along with those crafts. And let’s not forget sewing machines!
judy.blog@gmail.com says
Thank you!