Last night I was looking for old pictures of Speck and came across this blog post. It was so funny but maybe you had to be there. This was in October, 2011, five months after the Joplin tornado and five months after we had moved to Texas.
Friday I decided to go to the library to get my library card. Don’t ask me why . . I never check out books. They have e-books you can read on the computer but I don’t think they will work on the Kindle until they update their program and include “Overdrive”. The truth is . . I was thinking of any reason I could find to go to town so I could go to Taco Bueno. I waited til the last minute and called Vince to let him know I was heading to town and he decided he would meet me at the library and we would both get our library cards. I knew my plans had been disrupted!
I got to the library first. There was a younger lady and an older lady working. By older lady, I’m thinking close to 80 years old. The younger lady was waiting on me. Vince walked in and the older lady came over to wait on him.
When we go to restaurants or anywhere we have to give our name . . the kinds of places where it doesn’t really matter if we’re honest or not, Vince always says “Green”. If I had feelings, they would be hurt because his ex-wife’s maiden name was Green. My maiden name was Miller. Why can’t he say Miller? But, if ever you want to have some fun . . when you walk into a restaurant and they ask your name for the waiting list, say “Laquidara” and see the look it gets you and then wait til they try to say it when it’s your turn. You’ll be saying “Green” too! 🙂
The elderly lady was very sweet and she said to Vince “What’s your name, honey?” and Vince said “Green”! NO! Vince . . you have to give her your real name. Things were going downhill rapidly. The lady asked us where we moved here from. I told her southwest Missouri. If you say “Nevada, MO” then you have to go through the whole geography lesson about where Nevada is located. If you happen to mention that it was near Joplin, then you have to hear how terrible the tornado was. Yes, it was very sad but I really don’t want to go into all that everywhere we go.
When we said southwest MO, the lady said “Oh! Harry Truman was from there. He was such a great president. I wish we could have another one like him! You probably don’t remember him being president, do you?” Not really! His term ended in 1953 and I was born in 1954.
We get past the discussion of the presidents for the past 50+ years, the current president, the upcoming political season, the Texas governor and then she wants to be sure we understand how things work in Texas. They shoot first and then ask questions! Yep, we got that down! She was so funny. Vince and I were cracking up. By now, even though she has both our driver’s licenses, she’s calling us Mr. and Mrs. Green.
Then it was time to sign our library card. I’m digging in my purse for a pen and I pull this out.
(There was an image here but the old images on my blog are gone. It was a long, almost obscene looking thing!)
I wish you could have seen her face. I’m not sure what she thought it was. I doubt she thought it was what I thought she thought it was but she had the funniest look on her face, her mouth dropped open and she said to another girl working there . . Come and see what Mrs. Green has in her purse!
Of course, by now, Vince is saying “What the hell are you doing with that in your purse? What is it anyway?”
So I had to explain the whole story to everyone in the library because folks from far and near had come over to see what the commotion was all about.
My dear blog reader, Diana, should be feeling very guilty about this episode about now! Diana sent two quilts for the fire victims and she sent a treat for Speck. The treats are called “Texas Toothpicks” but they’re really cow tails . . tails from a cow. Speck loves them and as I was leaving the house the other day (not Friday), I saw Max, the neighbor’s dog. I tried to persuade Max to come and get the treat from me but he would not come close to me. So, I stuck the cow tail in my purse. The folks were looking at me like . . Is that the best story you can come up with?
We looked around the library for a minute and when we started to walk out, the elderly lady was waiting on another patron. She said “There go Mr. and Mrs. Green!” Everyone in the library waved goodbye and I’m so happy they all think we are Mr. and Mrs. Green!