This weekend Addie and I worked on her spelling words. She was not putting forth much effort and I said “Addie! Don’t you want to make 100 on your spelling test again?”
She looked at me with a smirk and said “Not really . . once was enough!”
Oh, my goodness! I didn’t say anything right then but she and I will have a talk about giving everything your best shot. I don’t ever want her to think anything less than 100 is not good enough or think less of herself because she doesn’t make 100 but I do want her to understand that with so much of life, you’re going to get out what you put into it. Of course, as adults we know that sometimes we give our all and that just isn’t enough but, being happy with average when she could do so much better with just a little effort . . I don’t get it.
My parents never had that conversation with me. I always wanted to do my best. When I’m sewing or knitting or cross stitching, I’m never happy with less than my best.
I’m going to have to think about the conversation we’ll have because I want to get it right but I was really surprised when she said once was enough. I figured that once she made the 100, she’d want to spend an hour or so a week studying and keep making 100 but . . apparently not.
Liz says
I know this may be difficult to talk about – but what is the attitude of of the parents and teachers? Is Addie getting mixed messages with you, her parents, and her teachers?
I was also raised to always do my best so it is hard to understand this attitude of not trying to achieve. If positive confirmation doesn’t help, would some negative feedback do something – ie, you don’t get 100-90%, you don’t get the “atta-boy” treat.
Nelle Coursey says
She must have some friends talking to her. She needs to know if she is going to get ahead in life then she has to do well in school, study hard to get good grades and she might be president one day. She could also get scholarships to college and be able to get a better paying job. Someone needs to stress to her the importance of doing this because there is no guarantee she will get out of high school, get married to a wealthy man and be a housewife. That is no ambition to have. Having a family is good but now it takes two working and one day when she is talking to her husbands friends, she will be embarrassed if she can’t keep up with the conversation because she doesn’t know what they are talking about. And education is something no one can take away from her.
judy.blog@gmail.com says
I know there are exceptions but excellence doesn’t seem to be a priority any more.
Elle says
When I took home my first ever Straight A report card Dad said ” now that you’ve done it, I know you can do it every time”. Gauntlet tossed. I graduated HS with a 3.96 GPA. I just didn’t even want to hear what he would say if I brought home a B. I don’t even remember what the 1 B was in now.
judy.blog@gmail.com says
I was the same way. I can remember being so nervous if I made a B but my parents never put pressure on me to make all A’s. I just wanted to do my best and I knew I could do it. I think today’s kids, for the most part, have a different attitude.
Maryann Lohmann says
Maybe if you make a comparison to her cheerleading, she’ll understand better. I’m sure she had to practice to be picked for the squad
judy.blog@gmail.com says
Great idea!
Joyce says
My parents always told me that they wouldn’t be mad at me for getting a low grade in something as long as I was doing the very best that I could. My father was a teacher and he understood that not everyone was great at everything, but if I got a low grade just because I didn’t want to try, I was in BIG trouble! I wasn’t a straight A student, but I was no slouch either.
Donna in KS says
Usually, middle school and high school cheerleaders have to maintain a certain grade level. Our granddaughter also had to measure to her parent’s standards. No problems for her! I remember when our sons wanted to measure up to certain teacher’s expections! The more lax culture of today is effecting schools and students!
judy.blog@gmail.com says
Sadly, yes!