My dad’s mom was very old when my dad was born so when my sister and I were teens, Granny was probably close to 80. Granny would get so mixed up with names. She had over a dozen grandchildren and she called us all the wrong names. One of my dad’s brothers had girls named Donna Faye and Debra Kay and the were just a couple of years older than my sister and I. Granny would yell at us and say “Donner Faye!” or “Debber Kay!” and my sister and I would say “That’s NOT our names!”
Last night Oscar had been on such a puppy rant. We finally put him in the crate for a while hoping he would calm down. I don’t think he helped . . we just listened to him screaming for half an hour.
When we let him out, he went after something with all his might and Vince was screaming No Roscoe! Stop Roscoe. Roscoe! Come here!” I was cracking up and Vince looked at me and said “What’s so funny?”
Immediately, the little boy in Sam’s Club years ago that said “Hey Dad, did you see those old people?” popped into my head and then my grandma yelling Donner Faye and Debber Kay was ringing in my years and I just couldn’t stop laughing. Vince was about to get aggravated at me because I couldn’t tell him what was so funny. Finally, I was able to squeak out . . His name is NOT Roscoe.
Vince said “Well, who the heck is Roscoe?” I said “That was the rooster the owl ate!” Then Vince was laughing too.
I might like the name Roscoe better than I like Oscar.
Of course, there’s a story that goes with Roscoe too. When the ex and I lived in Jasper, Texas, we had a couple friend and his name is Roscoe. He was a funny guy – serious but funny without being funny. Once the ex was on a diet so I had made low fat or some kind of diet blueberry muffins as well as regular muffins for Chad and me. Those friends dropped by and I offered them muffins.
I probably weighed 90 pounds soaking wet back then but always thought I needed to lose weight. I said to the friends . . “I made low fat for him but I have regular muffins too.” Roscoe said “What about you, heifer, you eating the full fat version?” That really hurt my feelings because I thought I was overweight. Of course, despite my best effort to hold back tears, I shed a few tears. His wife was so mad at him and she was screaming at him “Oh, my gosh, Roscoe! ALL my friends HATE you. Judy was the only one who halfway liked you and look what you’ve done!”
Maybe you had to be there but looking back, it was so funny. We all remained friends for years. I’m still friends with the wife on FB. I think we moved to Jasper in 1989 and moved away in 1992 . . something like that. Even though it probably doesn’t sound like a good memory, it is because we all laughed about it later and continued to do things together. Every time I’d be eating something that overweight people should avoid, Roscoe would look at me and raise his eyebrows and I knew what he was thinking but he never called me a heifer again.
Anne says
Oh my gosh, that was my grandmother! She would go through all the names…”Lee…Richard…Charlie…Nelson…Lou…” before she got the right one!!
Rebecca says
—That was my MOTHER even when we were young! My husband, an only child, thinks it’s hilarious that she could go through all the names, plus the dog’s, before getting to my name! (I was the fifth child.)
vivoaks says
I can remember as a teen I was very self-conscious about my weight, and at a family gathering with relatives I barely knew, I was so envious of a cousin who was thin. I said, “You are so thin!” in admiration, and her father looked at me and remarked, “Well, you’re so fat!”. I was devastated! I never said a word to either of them after that. Obviously it made a huge impression on me, since I remember it all these years later…. You would think someone who’s a father of teenagers would have enough sense to keep his mouth shut instead of saying something that hurtful, but obviously common sense and compassion are not values we all aim for.
judy.blog@gmail.com says
That is just awful!!!! I’d like to find that man and tell him a thing or too! 🙂