Thank you all for the very kind and uplifting comments. I read them all last night.
I think the lesson for me to learn is that life doesn’t need to be so hard and for those who seem determined to make life miserable for everyone around them, all I/we can do is distance ourselves. Those who do not know the entire story and, of course, not everyone will – they will think badly of those of us who walk away but sometimes those folks don’t need to be in our lives either. Dealing with this issue makes me determined to be a kinder, more considerate old person and to make sure Chad is never in the position my sister and I are in now.
Just a funny story – last night Chad talked to my parents on the phone. A family member is having a baby and Chad asked Dad if he was excited about the baby. Dad said “No! I’ve seen too many of them go bad.” I asked my sister . . do you think he’s talking about you and me? I knew he was and she agreed.
It’s pretty funny/sad how some people will do awful things and then, anyone who tries to talk to them about what they’re doing . . those people become the bad guy.
I have a friend, sorry for her but thankfully it isn’t me, who is dealing with an alcoholic family member. As they try to help this person, they get blamed and pushed out of that person’s life.
Yesterday I took a long nap. Chad and Nicole had both tried to call me while I was sleeping. When I told Nicole “Sorry! I was taking a nap!”, she said “That’s what old people do!” Thanks, Nicole! 🙂 I was up very early Monday morning and I needed a nap!
PamO says
Hugs, Judy. You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your relatives.
Julie says
I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Dealing with the elderly can be quite challenging. My mother-in-law will be 97 in March. I believe a lot of the problems we have with her stem from her fear. Knowing you aren’t as capable as you once were and that you’re only going to get worse must be scary. You want to be independent, but you know you aren’t really capable of handling your affairs…nor even life in general. I feel for her, of course, but it sure can make it difficult for the rest of us.
Sara Fridley says
I’m sorry you are going through a stressful time with family. We all have to find ways to cope with the toxic people in our lives. But it’s certainly more difficult when it’s family that is toxic.
Diana G says
Toxic people I just walk away from anymore (especially inlaws- I haven’t talked to them in 8 years)…I am too old for it and want to just live a happy life. Let them be miserable, its their issue, life is too short for such pettiness.
Rebecca says
-I’m glad you have your sister (the one person in the world who knows what it was like growing up) to talk to. I have read the tales from a man who was quite victimized by his father (and mother, differently), while his older brother and sister had a normal life.
Twyla says
My child is very challenging on a good day. She has cancer again and trying to help her is challenging.
So I am so very sorry you are going thru a difficult family matter.