Two Funny Vince Stories

You’re not going to believe this but we went out last week on Wednesday. Vince has not gone anywhere since then . . til this morning. He was chomping at the bit to get out of here. He said he needed coffee. We have plenty of coffee. I’m sure, since I don’t drink coffee, he has no idea that I know we have coffee. It’s ok . . he did good staying home for a week. I said “Have you ever done this before?” Yes . . he had to stay home for two weeks when he had covid. Back then, the health department (Texas) called him EVERY day to make sure he was ok and hadn’t left the house. I asked him . . what would have happened if you hadn’t answered the phone when they called. He said “I asked them that and they said it did happen once. They called some lady one day and she didn’t answer. They called her the next day and she didn’t answer. I asked them . . what did you do? They said . . nothing . . she was dead!” Oh, my goodness!

The other funny thing is that yesterday, out of the clear blue . . Vince said “Do you have any idea how many cross stitching charts you have? You don’t have a clue, do you?” Oh, yes. I certainly do. I grabbed my phone because I use the X-Stitch Plus app and every chart I have – whether it’s one I ordered, a free one, or a pdf download . . it’s entered in that app.

I even told him the exact right number! I was so proud of myself for having the answer to his question, and knowing he was going to be shocked that I knew how many I have, I didn’t even think . . this is probably a number I should keep to myself. I’m lucky because my guess is that he thinks cross stitch charts cost somewhere between 95 cents and $2. He said “So, you’ve bought that many charts in one year. Are you going to buy that many again this year? No . . I forgot .. You and Denise are not buying anything!” Ha ha ha! He laughed as he walked away. He thinks we can’t do it.

I did tell him . . there are others trying not to buy too. It’s not just Denise and me!

Monday night I was watching a flosstube and the lady was saying she was trying not to buy charts. She said “I haven’t bought anything since early January.” I cracked up . . I think the flosstube was filmed on January 7. At least I’m doing better than she is.

I really don’t mind not buying . . so far. I know . . today is what . . the 12th? Just 352 days left in 2023, right?

Here’s a third thing that’s funny. When I was going to type that last sentence, I started out saying “365 days in a year . . ” but my fingers got mixed up and typed 356 and then I was thinking . . that doesn’t look right . . or maybe it is. You know how you KNOW something but then something happens and you doubt if you’re remembering correctly. I said to Vince “How many days in a year?” He said 365. I said “That’s what I thought but then my fingers typed it wrong and I got confused.” He said “Anytime you can’t remember, just multiply 52 x 7.” I looked at him and I said . . that’s not the right answer. He said “Yes it is . . 52 weeks/7 days a week!” I said 7 x 2 = 14 so whatever number you get is going to end in a 4.” He could not understand how I didn’t understand that multiplying 52 x 7 to get the number of days wasn’t going to give me 365. Then he said “OK. Simple fix . . just add 1.” That’s the point where you say “OK!” and move on. 🙂

Some of our conversations are hilarious and some are downright scary!