There’s always that Mars/Venus thing going on . . with everything. Maybe it’s Engineer/Normal. Like the flosstubers, Brenda & The Serial Starter, Vince and I could start our own youtube channel . . The Early Riser and the Night Owl. If we could go to bed about 11:00 p.m. and sleep til about 6 a.m., I could live with that but Vince falls asleep sometime before 9 p.m.
I love when we go to bed at the same time and we talk two or three minutes before he falls asleep. I can usually go to sleep as soon as I go to bed and at least a couple of nights a week, I try to do that because I hate not going to bed when he goes to bed. The reality is . . I function better and get more done late at night and he’s the opposite. He works very hard outside so I know he’s tired early but even on the days when he stays inside all day and “takes it easy”, he still falls asleep by 9 p.m.
On the nights I go to bed early, if I can fall asleep before my head starts thinking of all the things I could do by staying up a few hours later, I’m good but once something like that pops into my head, it’s over . . get up or toss and turn for a couple of hours. I try to start reading a good book as soon as I know Vince is starting to go to sleep. I’ll fall asleep faster that way and my mind stays occupied with the book and not thinking about something I want to be doing.
Even though I feel like we should go to bed together, and I don’t know if it even matters . . sometimes I think Vince likes to go to bed without me chattering and thinking of “one more thing” at least half a dozen times that I need to tell him.
I enjoy being up a couple of hours by myself. Sometimes I write in my journal, sometimes I piddle around in the kitchen, sometimes I work on a new menu plan. I think he also enjoys being up and having an hour or so of quiet time before I get up in the morning.
In the end, I suppose so long as we’re both happy with the routine, that’s all that matters, right?
Paula says
My husband and I rarely go to bed at the same time, unless we’re traveling. That doesn’t mean we don’t love each other or want to spend time together, we just have different sleep habits. I’m like you and get so much more done after dinner. I stay up too late for someone who has to get up early for work.
Sandi B says
My husband is an early to bed, early to rise type. Me? I’m the definition of a night owl. There are many times he’s getting up when I’m going to bed! He’s like you, though: as soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s out. I rarely fall asleep before 30 minutes. We’ve been doing this dance for 39 years, though, so it obviously works!
Thanks for the smile.
Judy Laquidara says
I’d say it works too if you’ve made it 39 years.
Vivian Oaks says
As long as it works for you both, it’s a winner! We always go to bed together, but there are nights he’s asleep in 5 minutes and I’m still wide awake 4 hours later. If I get up to get anything done he’s awake within half an hour, asking why I’m up. He leans against me while we sleep, so if he slides over to feel where I am, and I’m not there, he automatically wakes up. Can’t do a thing about it… 🙂
Judy Laquidara says
Neither of us wake up when the other one moves. I’m always hot so I’m always over on the edge of my side. Vince pretty much doesn’t move all night. He says he never hears me come to bed so I guess that’s good.
Elle says
It absolutely does NOT matter that you have different biorhythms. My husband and I do as well-married at age 19 and 41 years now. I go to bed between 8-9 and awake 4-6. He goes to bed 11-12 and awakes 6-7. We each have time on our own and enough time together! Cheers to getting along and getting alone time.