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No Granny of the Year Award

Today I had planned to leave the house a little before 2; drive an hour north, go by the grocery store there for a couple of things I need; go by Chad & Nicole’s and get Addie’s stuff, then go get Addie and come home, and I should have made it home by dark.

But . . things rarely go according to my plans. I was probably 10 minutes from home and I realized I didn’t have the garage door opener to Chad’s house so I wouldn’t be able to get in. I had taken it out when I took the car to get aligned and it was in my knitting bag at home. Turned around, went back home, got the garage door opener and started again. That put me 20 minutes late.

Got there, went to the grocery store; went by their house; went and got Addie, then she and I decided to go by a cute little gift shop and let her pick out Christmas gifts for her mom and dad; then we went by the greasy burger joint and got burgers to go (ate in the car — sorry, Vince!) so I didn’t get home before dark and I do not like driving at dusk and dark. Since it was that time of day when the deer are plentiful on the back roads, I came home on the interstate so it wasn’t bad.

We got home and Addie was in her room playing. She came out with a really distressed look on her face.

Addie: Granny, there’s something black and hairy under my bed.
Me: Get it out!
Addie: I can’t. I’m scared.
Me: Does it look alive?
Addie: No.
Me: Does it look like it was once alive?
Addie: Maybe. It’s starting to stink.

Oh, my goodness. I was immediately thinking of what man in the neighborhood I could call to come retrieve this dead critter from under her bed.

Addie: It could be a hairball.
Me: Like Boots threw up?
Addie: Maybe. Please come and get it.
Me: Go in the kitchen, get the big soup spoon with the long handle and use that to knock it out from under the bed.

She went and got the spoon and she honestly tried but she just couldn’t do it. I went in there.

She had a flashlight and was trying to show it to me but she wouldn’t get anywhere near it so I never could see what she was seeing. She said “Do you smell it?” I didn’t smell anything.

She gave me the flashlight and it was one of her little bitty dolls with a full head of black hair.

Addie: Do you see it?
Me: Yes.
Addie: What is it?
Me: I’m not sure!

Then, I screamed . . and she screamed. Then she started crying! I told Nicole . . I’m a horrible grandmother. Nicole said “Then I’m a horrible mother because I would have done the same thing.”

It’s been an hour and I still can’t stop laughing. I guess I’m not really laughing that I scared here but that she was so afraid of it and it was one of her own dolls!

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Comments

  3. Oh my goodness! It made me think of the time a young visitor came screaming down the hall saying there was a big, hairy, horrible monster in the window. It was our cat Oreo.

    • You know it probably really did look like a hairy, horrible monster. Poor Oreo!

  7. That is so funny! Ya’ll are already having fun. I bet when she is nearly 67 years old she will be telling an old school friend that story. I remember at 12 years I was helping my aunt put my 4yr old brother’s Christmas out under the tree and the rose bush scratched the window screen and we both froze looked at each other and started laughing as we both said, “I thought THAT was Santa.” Ya’ll are making good memories. How nice for you both.

  9. When I was little I ran to my sister’s room yelling that there was a bear in the bathroom, it was a shadow in the shape of a bear. She told me she thought it looked like Abraham Lincoln! For some reason that calmed me down.

  10. I would have screamed too! I can handle many things but those particular critters do me in.

  12. I think I would have screamed and been terrified myself if I didn’t know what it was!! Glad it was not a critter!!

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