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November 30, 2020

Mars/Venus Again

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Just about the time I think Vince and I have figured out how to make it through life, that Mars/Venus thing strikes again.

I keep plenty of toilet paper but I don’t keep a ton of paper towels and we seem to go through more paper towels. I guess in my head, I feel like we can/should use more dish towels so if we couldn’t get paper towels, life would go on with just a minor inconvenience.

Probably Friday Vince came in and we had this discussion:

Vince: Do we have any more paper towels?
Me: Did you look in the closet in the laundry room?
Vince: There’s only one roll there.
Me: Take it . . I have a fresh roll in the kitchen.

Last night I was chatting with friends online and they were talking about not being able to find toilet paper or paper towels at Costco, their local Walmart or Sam’s Club. It made me realize that we’re about out of paper towels. While talking with them, I got on my phone, checked Walmart and sure enough . . they only had two varieties of paper towels, neither of which are my favorite, though I’m not a name brand paper towel snob. I go through enough of them that inexpensive works for me.

I added them to my grocery cart, along with a few groceries I needed to get to the $35 minimum order, scheduled my pickup for 7 – 8 a.m. this morning.

Vince had been downstairs watching TV. He came up and I said “I scheduled a grocery pickup for 7 – 8 in the morning. Is there anything you need me to add?”

He wanted to know why I was doing that and I explained the paper towel situation.

Then, to my surprise, he said “Why didn’t you ask me before ordering paper towels?” Well, the main reason is I don’t ask him about much of anything before I buy it – the small stuff anyway. If I think we need it or I want it . . I get it. He was not happy because (1) we didn’t need paper towels and (2) he thinks we have no place to put them.

I canceled the entire order at Walmart and as far as I was concerned, the discussion was over. This morning, I kept thinking about it so I told him I wanted to talk to him about it.

Me: Just the other day you were asking me if we had more paper towels and I didn’t know where any were. Last night you told we had plenty. Where are they?
Vince: They’re in the closet!
Me: Which closet? (Thinking maybe there were more in the laundry room closet and we had missed them!)
Vince: The closet under the stairs. (which I never go into)
Me: I didn’t know there were paper towels there.
Vince I opened several big boxes that were full of paper towels and I put them in there just to get them out of the way.
Me: Then why did you ask me if I knew where there were more paper towels . . if you knew where there were more paper towels?
Vince: I asked you if there were more paper towels UPSTAIRS!
Me: No, you didn’t.
Vince: You knew what I meant!
Me: No, I didn’t!

That conversation was solving nothing so we didn’t keep rehashing it but later, he said “I’m going to town to find paper towels?”

I didn’t say anything but last night he said we didn’t need paper towels. This morning . . he was going to town to find some. I went downstairs to look in the closet and there were three packages of paper towels – two packages had two rolls and one package had three rolls. Depending on how you look at it, we did have plenty but, on the other hand, we have some cold, potentially snowy weather coming up and always before now, I try to have everything we’ll need at home to get us through at least mid-January. Seven rolls of paper towels is not going to last us another six weeks but . . I was not starting another paper towel argument.

Some of you who are better at communicating than I am . . how on earth would I have known that he meant Did I know where there were more paper towels UPSTAIRS when all he said was “Do you know where there are more paper towels?”

In my mind, if he doesn’t know where any more are, and I don’t know where any more are, for all practical purposes, we are out. There may be some in boxes but who knows when we’ll find them.

Some days I think not talking at all is the best way to get through life! But . . me . . not talking?? Never going to happen!

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Comments

  1. Marcie says

    November 30, 2020 at 4:43 pm

    I LOVE Mars/Venus topics! But I had to chuckle over the paper towels, as I use maybe 2 rolls a year. Now, TP is another thing altogether, and I REALLY do not want to run out of that, especially preferred brands! I won’t go into how much I have of that…

    • Judy Laquidara says

      November 30, 2020 at 6:58 pm

      That’s how I feel about the PT. I know we go through too many of them so I wouldn’t be upset if we had to learn to live with fewer of them but I feel the same way you do about TP.

  2. Tricia says

    November 30, 2020 at 6:11 pm

    I think the communication issues start once we get older, ’cause the last few years my hubby and I have also had (many!) communication issues. We’ve been married for 32 years, and we’ve never had so many frustrating ‘conversations’ as we’ve had in the last year or two. I’ve even come up with a saying: “If I speak and the only one who hears me is my husband, have I made a sound?!” It doesn’t help that men’s hearing starts to go as they get older…I say that you should hide out in the cubby under the stairs once the paper towels are gone!

    • Judy Laquidara says

      November 30, 2020 at 6:59 pm

      Oh, goodness – that’s funny. I suppose if it’s like here, you might as well not have made a sound but IF I happen to say “I ordered yarn!”, he hears that very clearly and I get an immediate response!

  3. Phyllis says

    November 30, 2020 at 6:44 pm

    Tricia, if you think it is bad at 32 years, just wait til year 49.

  4. Susan says

    November 30, 2020 at 7:10 pm

    It’s good to know nothing has changed. =)

  5. Helen says

    November 30, 2020 at 8:00 pm

    I understand your feelings VERY well and I find our own communication issues very frustrating.

  6. Liz says

    November 30, 2020 at 8:07 pm

    Just curious – how rolls of paper towels did Vince end up buying?

    • Judy Laquidara says

      November 30, 2020 at 9:58 pm

      It wasn’t many. He only went to one store and there were limits. I know it wasn’t many because he put them back in the closet himself without asking me to come and help! ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Nelle Coursey says

    November 30, 2020 at 8:27 pm

    Well after almost 51 years I can tell you it only gets worse. My husband forgets what word he wants to use and just makes up one like I am supposed to know what he is talking about! LOL He thinks he is being funny. The worst thing is when we have been talking about something or someone and stop talking about it, go to another subject and he just randomly says something about the other topic and I don’t understand what he is talking about. Then he says we were just talking about that! I swear sometimes you can pinch their heads off if you didn’t love them so much!! LOL No I will not run out of paper towels or TP. My son used to keep cheap TP in the guest restroom and save the good stuff for himself! LOL

    • Helen says

      November 30, 2020 at 9:34 pm

      Oh, Nelle! We have been married nearly 52 years and you hit the nail on the head (with the exception of mine making up words).

    • Judy Laquidara says

      November 30, 2020 at 9:57 pm

      Oh, goodness . . that’s funny!

  8. Karen Sutton says

    December 1, 2020 at 6:52 am

    I think it’s a ‘boy brain’ thing.

  9. Sheila H. says

    December 1, 2020 at 2:53 pm

    Totally agree with everyone of you. We’ve been married 49 years, and conversationally, it gets more challenging and interesting every day. I always say he is going north and south, and I am going east and west, and eventually we’ll arrive at the same destination..

    • Judy Laquidara says

      December 1, 2020 at 9:28 pm

      I suppose all that really matters is that we can still laugh together and love each other at the end of the day. Sometimes the middle of the day . . not so much! ๐Ÿ™‚

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