Life

Last night I was thinking . . we never know what tomorrow holds. When things are going along in a routine manner, nothing out of the ordinary is happening . . I never think much about how quickly things can change but last night, thoughts kept running through my head.

• First, when I left Missouri on January 5, I had absolutely no idea what the next few months would bring. I had rented the apartment in MO and thought I’d be going back often to spend time with Addie. Due to COVID, I’ve spent two nights there and probably won’t spend more than two more. The lease will end in December and with the new house situation, I won’t keep the apartment. I had been spending a lot on hotels because I was staying at least 14 nights every quarter. The apartment seemed like such a good idea, and it was, until the pandemic hit. I’m not complaining! We’re the lucky ones – we haven’t been sick so far, but all this just proves that the best of plans can still end up being bad plans.
• When we moved to Texas, we thought we’d be here for the duration. Then along came Addie; and we got older and all the work this place needs got to be too much. We discussed it and said “We don’t have to do all we do”. We don’t have to have a garden or keep up 55 fruit trees and 25 chickens. But if we aren’t doing those things, why not move closer to family and a town that offers better amenities? We’ve been here nine years. We’re nine years older. I don’t want to drive 10 hours each way to see Addie four or five or six times a year. I don’t want her to grow up without getting to know us better. I want to be a part of her life and I want her to have lots of memories of us. I want her to remember us like I remember my grandparents, who lived two hours from us and we saw them often.
• Even though we’ve been looking for a house for well over a year, Monday morning I found the house online, by Monday evening, we had bought it. Vince laughed and said “I never planned to buy a house today . . without ever getting out of my easy chair!” But he did! If someone had told us we’d do that, we’d never have believed it. Buy a house, pay full asking price and never even saw the place in real life.
• On New Year’s Eve, 2019, who thought just a little over six months into 2020, we’d be seeing the things we’re seeing – civil unrest, food shortages, mask mandates, schools closed. I’m almost afraid to ask what else can go wrong.

As I went to bed last night, so very thankful for the time we’ve been able to spend with Addie, I was reminded that we can look at a world seemingly falling apart around us and we can feel despair; or, we can look at it and try to find something that makes us smile; something that brings us joy or something for which we can be grateful. If we choose to focus on the negative, we’re likely to feel sad and depressed. If we choose to find something positive, I think we’ll all be better off.

Right now, the thought of moving ourselves is rather overwhelming – fabric, yarn, jars, a long arm, a freeze dryer, pots and pans of every variety – I find myself being frustrated and nervous about the move; but if I think about the nice, spacious kitchen and holiday dinners with Chad, Nicole and Addie; or having an air conditioned area in the basement where Vince can work and do his 3D printing and drawing or stained glass; having a place to keep a table for working puzzles – room I haven’t had in this house, I’m happy – so happy that I can’t stop thinking about it.

I believe finding positive comes easier for some than for others but I’m hoping that when we feel overwhelmed with the circumstances we’re facing, we can find a way to let the positive thoughts push out those negative thoughts. Be happy! 🙂