This morning as I was getting the food ready for our meal today, I looked at the ingredients I had out, I checked the recipe to make sure I had everything and as I was grabbing my camera, I kinda laughed to myself and thought . . I bet my ingredients, even though they’re the same as anyone else would use, don’t look exactly the same.
Then the thought occurred to me that some may think I’m virtue signaling, which I am not doing and I hope you know that.
A definition I found online for virtue signaling – the action or practice of publicly expressing opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one’s good character or the moral correctness of one’s position on a particular issue.
I think of virtue signaling more along the lines of someone, anyone, maybe myself unknowingly, saying “Look at what I do. I’m so much better than you!” “Better” could mean I care more about the environment or I care more about what my family eats or I care more about whatever. I am not saying any of that.
I simply love growing a garden, canning and cooking from scratch, and trying new things. I think it’s something in my genes as my grandma canned or froze almost everything they ate — from their garden to a pig or cow they had raised for food. They did it out of necessity. I do it purely because I love doing it.
I don’t think I’ve ever looked at someone and thought “she probably never grew her own food” or “she probably doesn’t even know how to can!” So, I really don’t believe I’m “virtue signaling” but I never know how people interpret what I write or what they think of me.
I write the blog because I love what I do, I love sharing what we do. Maybe I share too much! I never think, nor am I saying that my way is the best way or the right way. My thoughts run along this line: If there’s someone out there who has ever thought of cooking from scratch, or knitting a sweater, or canning fresh tomatoes . . maybe something I say will encourage them to try it and maybe they’ll love it and it will be something they continue to do and then pass on to future generations.
I can’t tell you how many times friends have shown me something, I tried it and loved doing it. There are times I try things (decorating cookies) and realize it isn’t for me but I’m glad I tried it. I would hate to go through life and at the end, realize there were things I wanted to do/learn and never did it. Life is short! So, when I share what we’re doing, it isn’t to say “you really need to do this”, but more to say “I love doing this. If you want to try it, you should try it!”
Back when we were looking for a house here and could not find a house or could not get a deal to go through, I was blogging about it. For those not with me when that happened, we looked for several months for a house, had several (like 8) deals fall through for various reasons all the way from “I decided not to sell”, to foundation issues, to “I’m not fixing anything – I don’t care what the inspector finds”. I almost said “It was a nightmare” but it was kinda comical after about the 4th time it happened. We got to where we made an offer, it was accepted and then we both joked about how long it would take for the deal to fall through.
In fact, one house we found, the packers were already at our house in MO when that deal fell through. The house was empty. The owner knew we were in a bind and had agreed to let us move in before the deal closed. That was the house where the owner said “I’m not fixing anything.” Vince was at the house with the inspector when that conversation took place. Vince said to the inspector “My wife is going to die! The packers are at our house and they’re leaving next week to come to Texas and we have no place to go.” The inspector had a house that was for sale, had not sold and agreed to let us rent that so that’s what we did til we found this place and even with this house, the seller almost backed out and we had to make a crazy deal with him to sell our house back to him within two years of closing if our sale affected another piece of property he owned. That didn’t happen – lucky for us!It was definitely an experience we will never forget and are able to laugh about it now.
It was definitely an experience we will never forget and but, thankfully, we are able to laugh about it now.
So, during that time, this is part of an email I got from a blog reader:
“Judy, I really feel sorry for your husband. Nothing seems to be good enough for you. The housing thing the need to have things your way all the time. He is blind to you or so foolishly
in love with you to do what you want. The Joplin Quilt thing and now The Texas quilts is this for your notority or are you genuine about all this. The Complaining and whining are about sickening. Others out there are suffering and all we hear about is what you want and can’t have.”
I see her point. I wanted a house . . a home! I had just moved and left my only child 11 hours away . . to follow my husband as he changed jobs.
Who wouldn’t see that as a horribly selfish thing for me to have done. Oh . . and collecting quilts for tornado victims in a city near me that was devastated by a tornado; or collecting quilts for families near us, whose homes had been destroyed by a wildfire. It’s a wonder I haven’t been struck by lightning . . or worse!
The email went on and on . . that’s just part of it. Briefly I wondered if that’s how others see me and then I decided I am who I am. No one is forcing her to read the blog.
The Joplin Quilt thing – readers sent tons of quilts and quite a bit of money to be donated after the tornado. The checks were sent to me, addressed to a charity so not one dime of the money even went through my account. Chad, Nicole and I drove around for days after things settled down in Joplin, giving out quilts to folks who had lost everything.
The Texas quilts were collected after the Bastrop fire that first year we were here.
So . . all this to say . . I used home canned chicken this morning in a recipe! 🙂
And, I’m not posting this for anyone to tell me I’m a good person or a bad person. I’m a little of both probably but I don’t ever want anyone to think the things I write about are in any way a put down on anyone who does things differently from how I do them. In fact, I have a post about or dryer coming up and when you see the picture, anything good you may have thought about me . . it will be gone when you see my messy laundry room but . . that’s just keeping it real.
Jean says
Judy,
OMG! You are such a good person, whether you know it or not! Thank you for the laughs, for the info, for the new ideas to try! You inspire me and I appreciate you!
-Jean
<3
P.S. I hope such awful letters (such as the one you mentioned) are few and far between!
Jean says
PPSS. I never heard of virtue signaling!!
Teri says
I’ve never heard of it either. Judy, you are a wonderful down to earth woman and I love your blog!
Pat says
You are you and I enjoy your take on your life! I learn much and think about new ( and old) things. I don’t knit, but enjoy your joy in doing so. You are making a diary for your family. My husband gets snippets of Judy in a Texas and Vince(Go, Tigers) and it sparks some lively conversations. If you keep writing, Iwill follow.
Linda says
I have to wonder what is wrong with people to write such horrible emails? I used to think it was things that people would never say directly to someone, but anymore so many just say the first thing that comes to mind no matter how hurtful. This world needs a lot more kindness. Judy, I have learned so much from you and always look forward to your posts. The world needs a lot more people like you. You are so appreciated!
W Jordan says
Sounds like person who wrote that needs a life. !y mamma used to say ” if you want got anything good to say keep your mouth shut” .Some people just have to be mean .I’ve been reading your stuff way to many years and have always enjoyed it all.
Linda R says
A couple of times a month I mention to my hubby something “my internet friend in Texas” shared. You feel like a friend and I appreciate you! Don’t let that snarky, sour stranger dim your light.
Linda in NE says
I never heard of “virtue signaling” either. Apparently everything is a signal these days. Just this morning I was reading about a costumed Disney character who posed for a picture with his hands on a child’s shoulders. The parents decided that the position of his fingers was flashing the “OK” sign which to them meant “white supremacy” and they complained to Disney, the employee was fired & the parents were threatening to sue for beaucoup dollars. People are so crazy any more. To me the “OK” sign means just that, “OK”. As for that email letter you got, it says a lot more about the person who sent it than it does you. I can only assume that person is a chronic complainer and suspicious of everyone & everything, not to mention more than a bit jealous of you.
Rebecca says
I enjoy your blog so much that I never considered how your openness makes you a target for mean people. Sheesh!
“Virtue signaling” is new to me, too. I’m not active on social media, so that may be why. I do tend to state judgments out loud, though, like criticizing a friend for her use of plastic bottles of water. Guess I’m just an old biddy!
Sue Edberg says
I have never heard of “virtue signaling”. I love reading your blog and I have learned so much from you. I love seeing your pictures of what you cook, can, garden, knit, etc. I am not much of a cook but you have definitely inspired me to try new things – I only wish my husband was more open to trying some of them! Please don’t change because of what someone else may feel. If they think you are such a horrible person, they should stop reading your blog. I love hearing about what you, Vince, Chad, Nicole, and Addie are doing. I hope you continue doing what you love to do and continue sharing so freely with us.
Mary M says
Gee, what an unhappy person that sent that email! Keep doing what you do and share as much as you want.
Cilla says
I’m speechless…..and THAT NEVER happens!!! What everyone just said….I agree. A very sad, unhappy person that writer is.
Elaine/MuddlingThrough says
Frankly, I enjoy reading your chatter. At the very least you make me smile, and lots of times I’ve learned something useful. Pay no attention to the ones who try to bring you down. They are to be pitied.
Verna A. says
I learn a lot from your blog (like what virtue signaling is) and. even though I started reading because of quilting, I enjoy reading about the ‘goings on’ down in Texas. It’s shocking to me that some people think it’s okay to tell others what to write or not write in their own blogs.
Nelle Coursey says
Now wait a minute! I take exception to what that woman says! I don’t blame you for wanting what you want. YOU and Vince are the ones that are going to live in it, not her! If she thinks you are complaining then she can just move on to the next post or quit reading any of them! THIS IS YOUR BLOG AND YOUR POSTS. I never saw any of this as complaining, it was you telling us what you wanted and what you didn’t want. I find it very interesting and I have personally learned a lot about what to look for if I ever have to look for another house. You have told us things to look for and things to be wary of. To me you were not complaining! You were stating your opinion. I think Vince is lucky to have you! He is a nice guy and this is a joint venture! You both need to like/love the place. That other person is just jealous! I personally don’t want you to leave Texas but I understand! I just shake my head sometimes and think some people………….
Dottie says
I look forward to reading your blog posts every day. I am always AMAZED that some people have such “chutzpah” to write such negative things. For those who want to criticize , they need to “unsubscribe or unfollow”, DEFINITELY NOT tell someone how wrong they are.
Elle says
I’ve heard of virtue signaling….your face doesn’t come to mind. I continue to be amazed at the nastygrams so many bloggers receive. DON’T read if you don’t like the person. But for heaven’s sake, stop with the nastygrams. Knowing what you want and what you don’t want is important and financially savvy. You have your wants, Vince has his and you both know it will come together when it is supposed to.
Cheers!
dezertsuz says
The term had never crossed my path, and I expect that now that I’ve read this, I’ll never think of it again. =) If I thought you were that stuck on yourself, I probably wouldn’t read your blog, but I know you aren’t and I enjoy your blog, so whatever you are, it’s okay by me.
Chris Miller says
Oh my goodness!! I can’t believe anyone would write like that! Fortunately you know 99.999999% of us know that everything she said is false and that we read your blog because we learn so much and laugh so much!! You inspire us! And that Vince is one very lucky man!! (But I’m guessing it goes both ways!)
Vicky in Bama says
My goodness alive. Why I never. Judy I have followed you for years and rarely say a word. I agree with all of the comments above. Too many people think they have the right to tell someone how they should live, think and feel among other things these days. Just keep being you.
quilter44 says
I’ve never heard of virtue signaling either. I love reading your posts about your life in Texas and everything else. I find your relationship with Vince refreshing and so real life. Don’t pay attention to the critics.
Marcille says
I follow quite a few blogs, but working full time and doing the other things that I have on my plate, means there are times that I don’t have time to read them. Your blog is the one and only blog that I make sure I read. You keep it so real, you’re interested in things that interest me, you tell on yourself. As I said when you did your videos, you make me feel like I’m sitting in the kitchen with my good friend just sharing our daily adventures
Becky Turner says
Love your blog and stories
I do not find your post virtue signaling… I find them more “hey just had a thought, chuckle or passing fancy” and I love them…
Having said that
Who the hell cares if people “signal”
You either enjoy the the story or you don’t.
Twyla says
Well, bless that little poot head’s heart as she must lead a sad life. I was recently addressed about something a classmate from 1972 thought I did to her. I advised her that it wasn’t me. She had me confused with another Twyla ( there were 2 of us in a small high school) But, it was the golden opportunity to tell her the reason we lost touch when she asked. I find your blog entertaining and say to James Ya’ know what Vince and Judy are doing now? Just like we knew you and I think we do know a lot. Happy trails.
Joanne L Wilson says
I love reading your blog and think the writer of that email must be living a very sad life. Keep up the good work.
montanaclarks says
Oh my goodness! Did you block her from following your blog??–I would have!! I’ve never heard of virtue signaling.
Cindy F says
It’s been awhile since I commented, but had to. Wow…just wow! It never ceases to amaze me how some people can be. I’ve never heard of virtue signaling and from your description, it in no way resembles you. I learn so much from your posts and enjoy reading about the gardening, the freeze drying, smoking, cooking, etc. Hopefully you can just put those thoughts behind you and press on.