This week school pictures were being made at Addie’s school. Nicole had called to see what size I want, and what size she should get for my uncle. We talked about all the different packages. She wanted pictures for her parents, grandparents, aunt and sister so, together, we came up with the perfect package.
Yesterday Nicole called again and was telling me that they had been talking at work about school pictures and she mentioned Addie’s bicycle accident “damages” were almost gone but there were a couple of faint scars. A friend told her there’s a place you can check on the photo form, and pay extra, and have the photos “brushed” and imperfections removed. She wondered out loud if she should do that.
My first thought was . . it’s just school pictures. Then I told Nicole – we told her, even with all the scrapes and bloody scabs, that she was still beautiful. I felt like having the photo “brushed” to wash away the scars could convey to her that she isn’t beautiful and that we have to touch up her pictures so the scars don’t show, though in real life, they may always show a bit. We went with the “I love you and you’re beautiful just the way you are!” plan and she chose not to have them brushed.
Last night, while sitting alone for hours knitting, I wondered how often our words say one thing and our actions say something else.
As adults, I don’t think we think much about it but different things went through my head.
How many times do we see someone or talk on the phone and say “We need to get together soon.” But, we never do. We didn’t mean what we said or we would have said “Let’s have lunch Monday!” and made plans.
Another thing we do – when someone needs help with whatever is going on, we’ll often say “Call me if you need help!” We can almost be sure they won’t call. If we really want to help, we show up at their house and say “I’m here to help. Show me what you want me to do.”
When Chad was young and had to get immunizations, I would hear parents say “It isn’t going to hurt!” Heck . . it is going to hurt! I would always tell Chad . . it’s going to hurt for just a second. It’s something we have to do so let’s just get it done and then we’ll go get ice cream!
I’m as guilty as anyone for saying “Let’s get together soon” and then making no effort to get together, or saying “Call me if you need help”, knowing the other person needs help.
I’m going to make more of an effort to say what I mean and mean what I say.