Last night I was reading something online and it was something I really didn’t agree with but I understood why this person felt the way they did and I started thinking about how much our own circumstances affect how we feel and often, I don’t think we even realize it.
Two things in my own life came to mind . . two things that are pretty extreme examples.
Once upon a time, before Vince . . way before Vince, I lived in Texas. It was a failing marriage; we had a house fire and we were inside the house asleep and it was ruled to have been arson. One night shots were fired into the house. It was an overall horrible experience. We were only there about 2-1/2 years but it was a horrible 2-1/2 years for me.
If memory serves me correctly, it was about six or seven years after we left Texas that I had gotten divorced, then Vince and I met, married, moved to Kentucky. As Vince had opportunities to advance his career and move to new locations, he’d always talk to me about the places and my response was always the same . . “I’ll move anywhere in the south EXCEPT Texas!”. It was the bad experiences I had there that made me never want to live in Texas again.
Now, except for Addie being in MO, there’s no place I’d rather be than Texas. I’m glad I had the opportunity live here again and somewhat forget the bad memories that caused my negative feelings towards Texas.
I’ll never forget the morning Vince called and told me about the job in Brownwood. He was telling me all about the job and then he said “There’s one problem . . it’s in Texas!” I took a deep breath and said “I can do it if you want to do it” and we did it! 🙂
The second thing is that we both disliked living in Nevada, MO. There were several reasons, and all of those reasons are still there. That’s one of the struggles Vince has with me wanting to go back there. With Addie there, it’s the only place I want to live but I know that there’s always the chance they’ll move somewhere else and then we’d be in the same boat we were in before. But, when I’m there, I’m happy to be there. Even when I go to Walmart or the grocery store without Addie, I’m still happy there. I guess it’s just knowing I’m close enough to her to be a part of her life that makes it seem different for me.
It makes me think about all the things I love, the things I dislike . . how much of it would be different if a few circumstances had been different? Why do I let circumstances have such a huge bearing on how I feel about things?
Even the town in Texas where I previously lived . . we go back there. I have a cousin there and when I’m going to Louisiana, I make sure to plan my trip so she and I can have lunch together. Several times, I’ve spent the night there when passing through. At one, when Vince and I were looking for places to retire, we even considered living there but I can’t do that. There are plenty of places we can live that I don’t have to go back to a place that does hold so many bad memories.
Life can be funny . . in a weird way.
vivoaks says
You’re exactly right. And that is why we are all so different. Every bit of our life, from birth to where we are now, help to mold our attitudes, likes and dislikes, shoot—the people we become! It also makes for a much less boring life! I’m so glad we are all different!! It’s a shame what you had to go through before, but aren’t you thrilled your life has turned out the way it is?!!! 🙂 (Me too!!)
Nelle Coursey says
Life is always changing. I would bet if you lived in any town there would be very bad things about it and some very good things about it. I could not live in an area where there was shooting going on! I would have to do something!!
dezertsuz says
I recognize myself in your words. I have things that pull me to southern Arizona – I have many happy memories there, I love the desert and the dry heat and everything about it – mountains, cliffs, blue of the sky, everything natural. Then I’m pushed away, because I don’t like the change in political direction, I’m not a fan of big cities (thought if I had to live near one, Phoenix is better than most I’ve been in!), and I’m concerned about the water table dropping so fast. It takes decades to refill it, and it’s used faster than it’s refilling. The water from the Colorado R. is just nasty tasting. Phoenix has three rivers, but they are all dammed for water retention, so most of them run dry in the summer, at least.
Tennessee is actually the same way. Some things keep me here, and some things make me want to go – mainly the humidity! I love the people, and it is a beautiful place, though a little too green for my personal taste … and, you know, kudzu!