by Vince:
This post could have many different titles because what I planned to talk about today could go off in many different directions. I am going to attempt to go in one direction, so that you can follow along. But, if you get lost, you might have to stop and backtrack a bit so that we both end up at the same or similar endpoint.
While drinking my cup of coffee and doing my morning internet surfing last week, I ran across a statement that said “we live a life of measurement”. Everything is compared to something else and that is where many things (including people) get their sense of worth. On the other hand, if one has a true sense of purpose, then comparisons should be used as the driving force for betterment. Think about that for a moment. How do you mainly use comparisons? Are they helping to make you enjoy life more or are they making you less satisfied?
This is not a new topic. It has been written about for hundreds of years. However, it is one we all tend to lose sight of as we get caught up in living life. Comparing can help motivate one to improve a needed skill set or it can drive a compulsion like never having enough of something. It all comes down to what and how we chose to compare.
How many things have you brought into your life because they are bigger, prettier, newer, etc. and not because they add some needed or improved value? TVs are a perfect example of something that fits this description. You can see some objects that fit into this category by looking at the size of the display at your local big box store. TVs take up a large part of a wall and they are also located on a main walking aisle. How many and how often does one buy a TV? To look at the amount of space dedicated to TVs you would think they are as essential as bread or milk. As you may know, our TV watching has been greatly minimized. In fact, it is now just one of those things that happens usually later in the evening when we want to have some mindless entertainment before we go to bed. Most of what we watch on TV these days is for educational value. However, with football season starting soon, I may have to readjust my thinking a bit!
So the next time you feel driven to make a change, ask yourself if it’s because of a comparison. And then ask yourself why? Is it adding value to your life or is it just because it’s what “everyone” else is doing? The following link will take you to a post that provides more insight on this topic. https://www.becomingminimalist.com/stop-comparing-your-life-start-living-it/
Carolyn says
Vince, thanks for your post. I often ask myself if it’s a want vs a need. Then I ask how the purchase will affect my budget. More often than not I walk away from the purchase because it’s simply not needed.
Lisa G Boyer says
Being the youngest of six children by five whole years, I learned early on that comparing myself to anyone else was impossible. They were all from five to twelve years older, so of course they were smarter and better than I was at everything. I learned to go my own way and I still do. Working with others in my adult life has always been difficult because I am motivated from within by personal self-generated goals, not external ones. I find it difficult to understand someone who is motivated by competition with others or because someone waves something in front of them that they “should” want.
“Needs vs. wants” is a common theme here, but I think there are more categories than that. I am lucky enough not to worry about needs, so my mind sometimes turns to “wants.” I can separate “wants” into quite a few more categories, some more tempting than others. Wants could be: 1. dreams of projects to be, like tools and fabric, 2. wanting something in order to feel more secure even though you don’t need it right now, 3. things I want because they prod a memory from my past, 4. it’s a bargain and I’m afraid I’ll regret grabbing it when I can, 5. a someday gift for someone I know….I could go on. Some of these categories are more challenging for me than other categories. I am more vulnerable to number 1 than number 4, for instance. So for me, it’s all about the psychology of the subcategories! You have to figure out your motivations for each subcategory of want to be able to eliminate it.
Elle says
So true. What I’ve wanted more than anything since my early 30s was the freedom to retire the day I said to myself “I am done”. As of Friday I am retired. I am 58 years young. I will begin taking withdrawals from my investments in September. Only because I didn’t keep up with new houses, new cars, tons of clothes and every gadget on the market, do I have the freedom to be retired today.
I’m so grateful for my husband who agreed with the plan decades ago. (He plans to work to 65 unless he wakes up thinking “I am done” and we’re OK if he does-we’ll just do a bit less travel). I am grateful for my gardening and food preservation skills. I am grateful for my sewing skills. I am grateful for my health. I am grateful hubby has innate Mr Fixit skills. I am grateful for zero debt. I am grateful.
dezertsuz says
My best friend for years kept buying bigger and bigger and bigger TVs, and always had the latest computer and phone equipment. I am more of the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mentality. My TV, which is hardly ever on, and not connected to anything but Roku over wi-fi, is 32″ and will stay that size, unless I decide to go smaller. My phone is an iPhone 5, and I waited until Boost offered it for $100 about 3 years back. I have no desire to upgrade either one. I’m saving all my money for fabric. LOL
Bon says
I enjoyed this post. Really made me think. Seems like bicycles are my downfall. Every three years it seems, I get a new one. Hopefully better than the last but not completely sure. Anyway, good post.
Nelle Coursey says
I have always been one of those that did not follow. I don’t do things unless I really need to, nor do I buy things I don’t need or will use. Right now we are purging things we have bought over the years to minimize our possessions. We are boxing some things up and labeling them so our daughter can just go through them and decide what she wants to keep and what she wants to get rid of.