What has happened to the world? Am I just getting old and intolerant?
One thing I love about blogging, and there are many things I love about it, but those of you who come here to read my posts and comment, while we’re not all of the same political persuasion, religion . . heck, some of us may not have much in common at all, but it is rare that I get rude comments on the blog. I do get some rude emails but it’s mostly from people who have happened on one post, are new to my blog and disagree vehemently with what I’ve said. For the most part, I consider so many of you good friends, and friends (or not) should be able to disagree kindly and walk away without hurt feelings.
Yesterday, on a Facebook group, someone said something that I didn’t even see but it was something someone didn’t agree with and they called her a horrible name . . on Facebook! There was a time when people might think it but definitely not write it for the world to see.
There was a bit of chaos in the group because some thought it was wrong, some thought it was free speech and didn’t want to be censored. I left the group. If I cannot go to a knitting group and read the posts/comments without seeing those kinds of words used, especially calling someone a bad word, I don’t want to be a part of it.
I went to bed thinking . . this is why I live out in the woods and have little personal interaction with other people. The more I’m around people, whether it be online groups, or in person, the more I want to stay at home and have our privacy and be left alone. Is that healthy? I don’t know . . I feel pretty healthy if the spiders would leave me alone.
So, why did we move to a place in the woods, to be not right on top of other people, put up with snakes, scorpions, spiders and the like . . only to put myself in a group on Facebook where that kind of behavior is not only tolerated but accepted? Every day I feel less and less desire to be a part of a group of any kind.
Then, I got up, was reading news this morning and saw where, amid all the ice cream licking, a fast food Mexican restaurant employee was licking the taco shells before making tacos. I don’t even know what to say. They obviously have no respect for their job or paycheck, or anyone else. That’s it . . no respect for anyone or anything, not even themselves. I already have a hard time eating out because I wonder if the employees wash their hands after going to the bathroom . . and all kinds of other things. Now this! I’ll never be able to eat out again but that doesn’t bother me too much. Vince and I were talking the other day and said there are only three places in town where we’ll eat – Chick-Fil-A, Diamond R in Zephyr (with the good hamburgers and fish) and the new taco place in town.
I’m finishing up this post and laughing at myself. My grandma was very opinionated and would say anything to anyone. You know where I got it, right? My dad’s mom had a little mobile home, not much bigger than a small RV, and she had it parked up in Many, LA. My parents had a place at the lake about 20 miles from there. There was a guy that I sometimes went out with who lived in Many so I’d go stay with Granny every time I was in town so he and I could go out.
It was not Neil Armstrong, but some subsequent space trip . . I would not have been dating or driving to Many by myself in 1969 . . but I had gone out with this guy and he had come inside Granny’s mobile home afterwards. Bless his heart. Granny would always sit up and wait for us and stay awake til he left . . being a good chaperone to her granddaughter! I’d probably do the same with Addie. The TV was on and there was something about space landings . . I don’t remember the details. Granny said “You know they can’t send a man to the moon! They probably have him hid out in Texas somewhere and they’re just telling us he’s on the moon!” My friend looked at me and I whispered “just agree with her”. I think he said something like “maybe!”
So . . whether you agree with me or not about the world seemingly coming unglued . . just smile and say “maybe!” 🙂
Ava says
Judy, I love your stories and you have such a good memory and can draw wisdom from the memories. I agree wholeheartedly with you about the things you write. It does appear the world has “gone off the deep end.” But I remember my elderly dad saying the same years ago. I just keep thinking, can it get much worse? We’ll make it, we just have to look for wisdom like searching for treasure.
Liz says
Love living in the middle of a mountain and don’t want to see or hear people. The less I deal with the better. I get why you live where you live. You just can’t beat the peaceful place.
bewtjwgmailcom says
my mother in law said the same thing
Pat says
I agree wholeheartedly. Maybe it age but I am beginning to be what I call antisocial. People are so disrespectful and rude. Then again you meet the young person who still hold the door and are polite and you have to think maybe there is still hope for this world.
dezertsuz says
There is! I know a LOT of lovely young people – teens from 13-18 – who are such wonderful young people, and are going to be tremendous parents, just like their own. They work hard, they do service projects, they have clean fun and clean lives, and I love them to pieces. They are out there in the country still!
Lee says
Whole-heartedly agree. Civility, respect, shame, and so much more is largely missing in society today but especially so much moreso on social media where one can hide behind anonymity. Though I do not use my real name on my blog, it just isn’t in me to post rude or crude things (hopefully I don’t!), but there are times in my mind have had to repent of my thoughts. Sometimes, I’ve even written them out…processed it all, then deleted without posting. I’ve been married to my husband & lived here for 23 years now, and barely know my neighbors. A sheriff came to the door the other day asking if I recognized a guy in photo – no – but it would seem he lived next door. Don’t know what was going on but for the next few hours a few officers were inside with one posted outside with his gun drawn, but held ‘casually’. I’m clueless, and so were the rest of my neighbors…some of us did gather across the street for a bit.
Sara Fridley says
I’m with you on not understanding why people feel the need to be rude and mean on social media. I’ve un-followed several friends and relatives on Facebook for that very reason. There was a guest at the July 4th BBQ we went to who was on a political rant the entire time she was there, plus never getting out of her chair (able bodied) to help but complaining about how long it took to cook the chicken. She urged me to join a Facebook group she set up for local college alumni – but I am not going to do it. If she’s that rude in person I can only imagine how awful her Facebook presence might be.
Liz (in OK) says
I agree about the decrease in civility and how it can make us retreat into our smaller world. It is related to social media and being able to be rude to people you will never see face to face. While I still read a lot of onsite news, I’ve stopped reading the comments on most of them since they rapidly break down into name calling and repeating lies. Some people seem to think if you repeat a lie often enough, it will be believed. I think the older generation tends to ignore such stuff, but I do worry about the younger generations with shorter attention span who don’t read since the article is too long.
I went to Chick-fil-A this morning since I had a card for a free chicken biscuit. I ordered a coffee and pulled out a couple bucks to pay for it and the young lady said no, it’s on us. The entire crew was happy and polite to everyone. One new hire mentioned that the coffee was out and the supervisor calmly went through the steps of how to brew up a pot of coffee. A good boss and the makings of a good employee. When I left the place, I noticed that the drive through was packed – it’s a three laner to order and two staff were out there with pads to take the order and take card payments. I tend to go to Sonic and Braums since they are local OKC brands, but I’ll be adding this store to my list.
Have a great day everyone!
shirley swift-bruner says
i am so there with you, Judy. i think my problem is that i just don’t like people any more. haha there are so many stupid people in the world….and inconsiderate people….and rude people….and just not nice people. i like to stay home….in the woods….and talk to myself.
Chris says
I agree!! We live just out of town on a quiet lane and while we have neighbors (each of us has an acre or so), we all respect each others privacy. I can hardly read the paper, even the funnies get so political these days. It hurts my head and my heart! Love your blog and thank you for making me laugh most every day!
Pam says
As usual, well said.
Cheryl says
You are so right. I’m addition to Ravelry, I’ve left three different t Facebook groups recently for this very thing. Ironically, those who call others nasty names are usually the same ones demanding that everyone else be tolerant and accepting of their views and opinions. Truthfully, they are only tolerant and accepting of you as long as you agree with them. I’ve lived a long time and I have never seen such uncivil behavior from people. It seems to have gotten so much worse after the2016 election when people started losing their minds because they couldn’t deal with the outcome. Their behavior has now become desperate and dangerous in many cases. It’s a world gone mad. I don’t know how we recover from this or if it’s even possible. I do know I’m very concerned for my grandchildren as they grow up in this madness. Lord help us all!!!
Pat Anderson says
That’s the only answer right there…help from the Lord. Politically incorrect or not, that’s the truth. They took God and discipline out of the schools and the country has gone to the dogs. I am shocked at how rude even women of my generation (I’m 67) are on Facebook quilt groups. I pray for our country and our President every night!
Lisa says
Ten thousand “likes” for this post. So very well said. I have very purposefully withdrawn from all social media. I only read quilt blogs now, and only the blogs that don’t make me angry. With my extra time, my house is more in order, my pets more played with and attended to, my freezer is stocked, our diet is healthier, and wow…more quilts and projects started and finished. I have so much more time and peace of mind! Now I’m working on my “physical” (as opposed to virtual) social life and trying to limit the amount of sitting and talking, favoring the groups where we “do” something instead of just sitting and talking: dance classes, quilt work days, etc. Sitting and talking is not good for my derriere or my psyche, especially because I live in a community where rude intrusive political commentary is pretty much the norm. I read about your isolation with yearning–this is the first time I have lived in a place surrounded by people and I don’t like it at all! Snakes and scorpions sound like a better alternative every day!
Rebecca says
Your Granny story reminded me of a joke I heard recently.
Sure, they staged the moon landing. However, Neil Armstrong was such a perfectionist, he insisted on “on-site” shooting.
dezertsuz says
LOL, I like that one!
Sherry V. says
I have been telling my husband for years that I want to find 40 acres of land, put a house smack in the middle, and only go to town once a month for groceries and the like because I don’t want to be around people.
As I have gotten older I find it harder and harder to deal with the “drama” and all the craziness that is in the world.
It wears me out just listening to some of these people with the constant complaints about what other people are doing.
I have a friend, and she really is a friend, but I find myself avoiding her because she constantly complains and every time there is a slight problem she is going to “depth con 5” with tearing her hair out, freaking out, constant crying and jumping to the worst conclusion that could possibly be. . . . .only to find out that things were no where near as bad as she was thinking.
I just want to wake up, eat when I feel like it, have air conditioning when it is hot, have a nice house, a nice dog (or 2) and be able to sew, crochet, read, listen to music or watch tv whenever I want.
I don’t think I am being greedy. . . . but maybe I am.
Linda in NE says
I’ll go you one better. 🙂 I keep saying that if I could ever win a sizeable lottery jackpot that I would want to buy a whole section of land, have trees planted around the outside, have a fence with a sturdy gate and put my house smack in the middle. Just the thought brings out my happy hermit tendencies.
Linda in NE says
There’s no maybe about it. The world is definitely a much more rude place than it was, say, 50 years ago. And, people on social media seem to think it’s all right to let it all hang out. Why, I don’t know. Sometimes it’s kind of entertaining and other times not so much. Depending on the post I sometimes never read further than the third comment. After that they degenerate into slurs & accusations.
Carolyn says
I agree with you. I’ve thought for the longest that Common Sense is hiding out somewhere and needs to be found.
Nelle Coursey says
I love you and I would never say anything on your blog against you. I may not agree with you 100%, but I respect your opinion and your blog. If I ever say anything out of line just tell me to shut up or like Pilar has started saying, you can say “Dammit Nelle!” Now when anything goes wrong that is what everyone at the table says and we all get a good laugh. But if the preacher is there she has to snap her fingers and point at me and we all know what it means!! LOL I can’t believe some people I post something on FB and someone always has to make something political about every small post even though it is not political! I don’t know what the world is coming to! I was told once to not believe anything you heard and only half of what you see. Because what you hear is not always the truth and it could be like the old game where it gets stretched out of proportion. And what you see may not be what you think it is. It may be as innocent as a child!
cassews says
That is the biggest reason I am not on AOL anymore … I just am done peopling. I don’t have a FB page nor will I, despite my daughters wanting me to get one. His family is on there and I would rather not see the family drama !!!
I just think people have lost sight of right and wrong with all this political correctness. Be nice, be kind and everyone has a right to their opinion, so dont put it out there if you can’t be nice, be kind…
dezertsuz says
Incivility has become very commonplace in many areas. I have to say that one reason I like living in Knoxville is that it is far less common here, but in 9 years, I can see a change in this city, too. If I had your place in Texas, I’d never leave it, scorpions and snakes or not! LOL That’s another reason I blog and don’t do FB. On IG, I hear there are negative comments, but I don’t see them among quilters, so I’m still on there. I don’t watch network TV, I don’t watch anyone’s news, and yet I seem to hear everything that’s going on in the world! I’m tempted to buy a class C and just travel from place to place, not making any friends as I go. LOL
Sherry in NC says
You ladies are rignt. The whole world has gone crazy. If I ever win the lottery, I’m buying my own private island and no one steps foot on it without a written invitation. But all is not lost yet. I had an experience over the Fourth of July weekend that shocked me. I went to visit my aunt in Virginia. She lives in a small town in farm country where everyone gathers on the front, screened in porch. I had been in the house and went out to find some visitors on the porch using all the chairs. A distant cousin’s little boy (about 9 or 10) got out of his chair and sat on the floor to let me ( a 61 year old lady) sit. I could not believe this child’s wonderful manners. His parents have done a great job. So maybe there is some hope for the world.
goonyburd says
I always say I hate most people, and prefer dogs…
I do think that mental illness is rampant today. 🙁
Helen B says
I agree! (Judy, I’m currently reading a book titled, “A Man Named Ove”. I’ve just started it, but I think you might like it. An older gentleman who’s a bit disgruntled with the “modern way”.
ELIZABETH CUNNINGHAM says
AMEN!! I always think of myself as a city girl. I was born and grew up in Phila. Last year the Big Guy and I moved to a very small town in central Ma. I wasn’t happy about it and I am still adjusting. BUT. The more I see and hear on social media the happier I am that I don’t have to interact with people. I have left several quilting and knitting groups because of nasty words and what I consider hurtful insults.