Where did the week go? It seems just yesterday I was completing last week’s PFTR and now it’s time for more pontification. This past week was a “thinking” week rather than a “doing” week. A reoccuring theme just kept popping into my head from various experiences. Of course, there were the usual chores, I cut a few more trees for the mushroom garden and there was some messing around with Vince stuff, but it seems more time was just spent thinking. Maybe I am getting ready for my New Year’s resolutions early or maybe there isn’t another square inch of room in our house to go shopping for another “deal”.
Earlier in my career, I use to travel a lot for work. At one point this week, I was thinking about an encounter I had with an English woman, who was sitting next to me on a flight. I’m not sure how we got on the topic of materialism, but we started discussing some of the differences between Americans and Europeans. The part of the conversation that stuck with me is when she said that Americans have to have 10 of the same item because they’re cheap while Europeans are willing to pay more for one good quality item that will last a long time.
A few years ago, I started hearing about minimalism. The idea was to spend less time accumulating possessions and spend more time enjoying life. I remember reading a book and later watching a movie about two guys who decided to give up most of their possessions and spend more time living life. There are even a couple of Ted talks by these fellows on the topic and here is a link to one of them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgBpyNsS-jU .
Then yesterday during my morning coffee while scanning the internet for interesting topics, I came across this quote from the movie, Flight Club. I have never seen this movie but I found the quote reinforces the theme that keeps infiltrating my brain. “The things you own end up owning you.” As I surfed the internet more I came across another quote, “the disease of having more never goes away”. Humm, could this be a sign that things need to change or was I just suffering from hunger pains while waiting for breakfast? I do know one thing for sure, being retired and on a fixed income, accumulation habits do need to change and I would say it will be for the greater good.
Now comes the hard part! I am not a psychology expert, but I am familiar with the concept of loss aversion. This concept tells us that we will expend a lot of energy to avoid the the pain of giving something up. And the amount of energy expended will greatly exceed the pleasure gained from having the stuff. This is a good point of reflection. I can see Judy reflecting as I type! Another psychological concept tells us that we obtain our true enjoyment from life, not from what we have but from our experiences and interactions. I have alluded to this in PFTR before when I was talking about my mentors.
In my mind, the key to all this rambling is, stop accumulating stuff, especially because it’s a deal! I know I am going to be reminded again and again by my better half about making this statement, but I know it has to be. Deep down I know this is the plan for the future I can live with and, equally important, when the time comes, it has to happen because we could never afford to move all this stuff. Let the change begin! Well, maybe WE can start January 1st. You never know, there might a a good Christmas sale on a high quality item I really need.
pat says
good luck. and a Healthy New Year for 2019
Sharon says
I do so enjoy PTFR. Having recently begun a fixed income lifestyle myself, it really speaks to me.
Vincent Laquidara says
Thank you Sharon…I will keep writing if I know it’s being well received. V
Elle says
It will be a huge change for you Vince but oh so worth it. Hubby and I made this change in our late 30s thanks to a book called “Your Money or Your Life”. It’s lessons are still valid. We now have about half the stuff we did when we moved into this home in 1991. You’ll need to replace your shopping habit with something else you enjoy as shopping has been a mainstay of your time off work. Your budget will thank you! Love Joshua and Ryan—they did a free talk here in my town at an independent bookstore.
Donna says
As we move every few years due to my husband’s job, we have become minimalists. It has not been hard since it is so much easier to clean out closets and drawers before a move. I have however drawn a line to fabric but I only buy it on sale or from a thrift store!
Karen says
I remember when we moved Mom & Dad into a senior living apartment from the house they had lived in for 40+ years. Dad went to the same barber shop for years and they always gave him one of those 6 inch combs after his haircut – I opened a drawer and there was nothing in it but combs – hundreds of combs! I can’t begin to tell you how much ‘stuff’ we had to move, donate or trash. It took us weeks to clear out the house and get it ready to sell. I promised myself I wouldn’t do the same thing to my kids – so I started getting rid of things I hadn’t used in years. I wish I could say it’s been a success – it has to a certain degree but by golly you take your eyes off yarn for just a second and it multiplies like rabbits!
Vincent Laquidara says
Karen, I know what you mean about yarn. Let’s hope the multiplying stops in the new year. V
Dottie says
I’m reminded of this daily when I look around at all the “stuff” we’ve accumulated and know that our kids (most likely) won’t either want it or want to deal with it when we’re gone. It is definitely hard to get rid of things and/or not pick up more good deals.
Cindi says
Check out ‘The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up’. You can get it from the library or as an e-book to avoid more clutter. A great resource to get rid of stuff you don’t need, and to change your thinking about acquiring more.
Vincent Laquidara says
Will check it out Cindy. Thanks for the reference. V
Sue Edberg says
Vince, thanks for writing on this topic today. Both my husband and I are on the verge of being “hoarders”. My husband has so many “toys” that fill his area of the house and I have more fabric, quilt kits, and yarn than I’ll ever be able to use and yet we always seem to “have” to get the newest and greatest when we see it. We moved several years ago and got rid of quite a bit, but the new house is beginning to fill up! I have been saying for quite some time that we need to de-clutter – we aren’t getting any younger! My husband loves Ted talks and I’m going to show him this one. I think we both need to hear this over and over. Keep writing, I love your PFTR Sunday articles.
Tricia says
Minimalism is a tough one. Marie Kondo, the latest wunderkind of minimalism, has a show coming to Netflix in January. I don’t mind having a ton of books and fabric, but I would like to get rid of other assorted stuff and nonsense. Clear out space in my house and head for enjoying my treasure…It’ll be fun to see your journey unfold, and maybe become inspired myself!
Phyllis says
Enjoying you writings. I have been retired for 22 years and it did not take long for me to discover that I did not need more “stuff”. Still have not made it to getting rid of stuff as we both grew up having very little and it is hard to let go. We have learned that it is more fun to know that you “could” have something if you really wanted it vs actually having it. Being able to give when others need something is more rewarding than accumulating “stuff”. Keep writing.
Vincent Laquidara says
Very good points Phyllis. I really like it’s more fun knowing you could! Thanks for sharing. V
Vincent Laquidara says
I just came in from cutting more trees and Judy was playing this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiDiKwbGfIY
If you haven’t heard this version, I hope you will give it a listen. V
Elle says
FANTASTIC! Talk about living in the moment. Watching them enjoy this process filled with wonder….so enjoyable.
cassews says
We started (I) decluttering my sewing room , my china, china cabinet etc.. Notice I put the I in there.hahahaha… His Dad was a Diesel Mechanic for a national trucking company, he has 3 of every tool there is made for the big diesels. Yep we have a Dodge diesel but none of those tools work on it. I asked him to sell.get rid of the tools and he says he cannot as they were his Dad’s, ok are you ever going to use them…(His Dad is still living), so no he won’t get rid of them.
Lesson here: if you have the spouse declutter, you had better be willing to declutter also .. Hahahahahahahahaha
Pat Anderson says
Vince, You aren’t just playing mind games with Judy, are you? I mean this could just be a cruel joke, right? How on earth are you going to give up all the trips to town cold turkey–even the January 1st date doesn’t give you time to detox! I think maybe Valentine’s Day might be more appropriate…you know, a gift of love! Seriously, we moved a year and a half ago and were merciless in our decluttering. We had to empty my SIL’s house and my MIL’s house and that is very attention getting. If you haven’t used it in a year or two, you probably don’t need it. We didn’t want our sons to have to go through what we went through. At the same time, we had to go through 5 years of probate of my SILs estate and if she would have had a trust, we would have actually benefited instead of her NY lawyers (she lived in NJ). It was an eye opener. We have wills, living wills, medical and financial power of attorneys and a trust. Along with the trust, the attorneys gave us a notebook for our sons of just what to do….worth thinking about! Enjoy your posts…Judy will LOVE this one!
Nelle Coursey says
I wish you luck! I never make New Years resolutions because If I do, I will do something to mess them up and then I am depressed because I couldn’t stick to it. So it is easier for me not to make them. Never have really.
Bon says
Vince, I really enjoyed your topic today. I’ve been trying to get rid of things for the last few months. Not easy. I always think I’ll need something soon after I get rid of it. Or some things just have sentimental value. I’m not really a shopper so that is a good thing. However today I did buy something but I’ve decided I’m going to return it. Good luck on your quest to curtail the shopping and accumulating.
dezertsuz says
It’s a good trend, Vince. When we went on the road in our 5th wheel, we got rid of many things, but I’ve been storing my books for too many years now, and I expect they are full of dust and bugs by this time! Who knew I’d be able to get them all on Kindle? I need to go clean that out, and use the saved money to buy the Kindle books. =) Best of luck with your decluttering life plans. I have found that if I don’t go in the store, I don’t buy anything. LOL
Penny Holliday says
Something(for me) to think about especially with the new year quickly approaching. I don’t make resolutions but generally plan a few goals for the new year! Thank you for writing about this subject at this time.
Terri S says
Letting go of our stuff can be very liberating. We have downsized twice in the last 8 years. The first time, moving from our house to an apartment, the second time from our apartment, into my elderly aunt’s house to care for her. We had to be ruthless. I took pictures of my doll collection and crystal collection and let them go. I divided up 9 tubes of three generatios of family pictures and distributed them to my siblings, kids, cousins, etc. If it was a duplicate, we got rid of it. If it hadn’t been used in a year, we got rid of it. If it was something that wasn’t useful or didn’t bring us joy, we got rid of it.My aunt passed away in June and her son and grandaughter took what they wanted and the rest of her stuff was donated. We brought our stuff from storage and purged some more. If it didn’t have a place in this house, it got donated or thrown out. I’m in the process now of thinning out my crafting stuff. I don’t really need 4 sewing machines, or bits and pieces of things that I “might” use some day, but realistically, probably never will. We want a streamlined life now. It makes cleaning easier, maintenance easier, I actually have empty closets and cupboards now and can store things where they’re convenient instead of where they fit!! We have a rule now that for everything new we bring into the house, something old has to go.
Our purchasing habits have changed dramatically. We only spend money on replacing things that are worn out or broken and only if it’s something we will really use.
Besides thinning out our stuff, so our kids won’t have to deal with it when we’re gone, we have completed a little booklet that tells them where our bank accounts, life insurance policies, and other important documents are, what our wishes are for when we’re gone to make that easier for them.
The simple life is very liberating!!
April Reeves says
You could just post a deal of the day! You are so good at finding deals but if you don’t really need it, just post it here.
Twyla says
My daughter has already told me not to get rid of anything. She wants all my treasures.