I was just looking for something on an old blog and this is the first story that came up. I was cracking up reading it . . but 12-1/2 years ago when I wrote it, I was not very happy with my son! Looking back, I don’t know how I had the fortitude to stick with the rules.
About 2 weeks ago, the state police really began working the bypass here. I’m the kind of person you hate to get stuck behind. I sent them an e-mail thanking them because the speeders had really gotten bad on there. They wrote me back and said they rarely get thanked for their efforts. Kinda funny now that my son was one who got a ticket today. But, here’s the best part. Things kinda calmed down tonight and I asked Chad what the officer said to him. Poor Chad . . he never knows when to be quiet! He told me the officer said “I’m giving you a break. You were going 76 but I’m going to put it down as 70.” OMG!!! Are all kids so darned hard headed or is it just mine? Chad is 18-1/2 and never thinks past his nose . . never has! In KY, they can get their driver’s license at 16-1/2. We told him if he made A’s & B’s, he could get a car for his senior year. Didn’t happen. When he got 18, he did get his driver’s license but he only drove with us in the car. We told him when he got a job, we would help him get a car. He got a job about a month ago and after a week or so, Vince let Chad start driving his car. Vince explained to him that if he got one ticket or had one wreck that was his fault, he was off our insurance and the car went back to Vince. So, he drives pretty much to work and back for 2 weeks. He went a few other places but very few. This morning he was off work. He wakes up wanting to go to Target. Here’s the conversation:
Chad: I’m going to Target
Me: No, you’re not. I’ve ridden with you enough to know that you do not go to the speed limit and until I can trust that you will drive the speed limit, you’re driving to work and back and that’s it.
Chad: Then you go with me to Target
Me: I don’t need anything from Target.
About an hour later:
Chad: I’m going to the bank and to get a pizza.
That’s all about 2 blocks from here . . unless you choose to get on the bypass and go halfway around town.
Me: Ok but go straight there and straight back.
He comes home and hands me this:
1. He’s on the bypass which was NOT on the way to get pizza or to go to the bank.
2. He’s going 70 mph (make that 76 mph) in a 55 mph zone.
Give the car back . . find out how much insurance is going to be to get your own policy and find a vehicle you can afford. He checked on insurance and he’s going to have to pay about $450/month. He brings home about $800 now working 40 hours. But, when school starts, he will not get 40 hours so every dime will basically pay for gas and insurance. Makes no sense at all to me but . . we gave him the rules, he chose not to follow them so he now pays the price. I hate to be mean and it breaks my heart that all his money will go towards something he could have had for free but he made the wrong choices and I have to stick by what I said.
Carol says
“We are where we are in life by the choices we make.”
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Cilla Tyler says
You did good sticking with the set rules. Todays parents don’t seem to do that. his coming from a SpEd teacher of 27 years. Pat yourself on the back for raising a responsible child into an adult. I’m sure he’ll pass the values onto Addie.
Dianne says
LOL!! I remember your posts with Chad and driving….
dezertsuz says
Good moms do the heartbreaking things because they know it’s the best thing to follow through with consequences. And look how great he is! Does he still speed? =)
Rebecca in SoCal says
Good for sticking to your guns! It turned out well, I’d say. I guess parents sometimes have to let their kids learn the hard way.
Pat says
That is call LOVE. You love him enough to stick to the rules. Life has rules no matter how old you get.
Kathleen says
When my daughter was in 3rd grade, she went swimming with her glasses on and without the safety band. Yep, they went to the bottom of the lake. We made her pay for new ones (close to $300 cuz she needed special stuff). Now how does a 3rd grader make that much money? We invented ways to do so – felt it was important that she felt the consequences of her decision. It took a long time, but she never lost or damaged another pair of glasses.
Linda in NE says
It’s good you made Chad stick to the rules. I know a family where mom & dad have always paid fines, bought new vehicles, basically did everything so their son never had to suffer the consequences of his actions. Now he is 31 yrs. old and headed to prison for getting involved with a string of thefts as well as drug charges and bad check writing. I keep thinking that if they had let him take his punishments when he was much younger maybe they wouldn’t have make plans to visit him in prison plus footing some pretty big legal bills.
Nelle Coursey says
This is called “tough love” and you did a good job of it. This way he will never forget that if you do something wrong, you pay the price for it. No one else, you. Like you said, you told him the rules, he broke them, plus he did not tell you the truth about where he was going or why. He got caught! This was a good life lesson for him. Sometimes it is very hard to do the things parents have to do!