I hate starting the day off with bad news and I vowed a long time ago that my blog was going to be happy news but in this case, I feel the need to share.
This is a story about a little boy, in the fourth grade, who committed suicide due to bullying at school. This happened in Nevada, MO . . the smallest of small towns! Obviously, this kind of tragedy can happen anywhere but having lived in this small town, you just never think it would happen there.
As a kindergartener in that same school district, Addie has had lots of lessons on bullying already. I appreciate that the school is starting with the youngest students to try to prevent bullying but my feeling is this is something parents need to be working on also. We need to teach our kids and grandkids to treat people the way we want to be treated. It is never ok to single someone out and try to make them miserable.
I look at the news and I see where people who don’t agree with what someone has said on the news . . they go to his home and stand outside and chant threats. Is this not bullying? Stop watching that channel. Stop buying from the sponsors but also stop the bullying!
Police are not being respected! People are not stopping for school busses when they’re loading and unloading children. We all need to respect the rules . . ALL the rules! If there are rules we don’t agree with, there are methods and procedures for getting those rules changed. We have to show respect . . that’s the best way to teach our children and grandchildren respect for others and respect for the law.
I’m not saying parents can totally stop their kids from bullying. Any of us who have raised or are currently raising children know they are going to do what they are going to do, at least to some degree but if kids are taught and see kindness and respect in the home, I pray they’re more likely to live that lifestyle in all aspects of their life.
Also, even though it’s something my parents never did, nor did I feel the need to do it with Chad, we need to talk to our kids and grandkids about how to handle bullying . . if someone is bullying them or if they see someone being bullied.
Definitely not all but a whole lot of parents need to put down their cell phones, put down their tablets, turn off the TV and spend quality time every day talking with their kids . . just chit chatting . . knowing what’s going on their lives, how they’re feeling, what’s bothering them. It isn’t often something you can just ask and get a response . . we have to really know these kids.
It breaks my heart, especially for this family who has lost their fourth grader, but also that we’ve “evolved” to a society where some, hopefully just a few, seem to have totally lost compassion for others.
marcille irwin says
I agree with everything that you have said, and would just like to add that I think there need to be consequences for bad behavior. It seems that so often I hear parents tell their children if they do something there will be a punishment of some sort, but then never see it through. These children learn very early on that they can get away with these types of bad acting. I see this when pleas are accepted for crimes and they throw out other charges against the person, or when someone gets jail time but they are released after serving a very small portion of the time. All of these actions send a message that we aren’t serious about putting a stop to this bad behavior, and when a bully gets away with it, it gives them a sense of power over others and they tend to continue on this way.
w jordan says
How horrible for everyone in this family. You wonder why /how this happened? I see this happening at the school each Friday I volunteer at. The children don’t have parents or anyone they can talk too. It is like you say always on some kind of electrical toy. Each week I here horror stories from kids. Yes parents/ grandparents they will and do tell who ever will listen even if it is just for a few minutes. This could have been stopped if just one person had stopped and seen that this dear child was in some kind of trouble. If the teachers would have had time to see that he was troubled things would have turned out differently. But they are maxed out . They need help. So if any of you have just a few extra hours. Stop by a school sing up to help and put on your listening ears. WE CAN STOP this from ever happening again with just 2 ears and time.Sorry but thisis a passion of mine. Help kids learn a better way to deal with bullies of all kinds and ages( parents included in this ).
Judy Laquidara says
I don’t think we can blame the parents. I don’t know anything about these parents. They may have spent lots of quality time with this child. Teachers are maxed out. It’s ridiculous the burden that has been placed on teachers. That all needs to stop and teachers need to be able to teach and not have all the added responsibilities they have.
April Reeves says
I saw something on fb about a child attempting suicide this morning and it prompted me to have a conversation in the car on the way to school about how that is not a solution to your problems. First ever suicide conversation with them but I know how close I came at times so know it needs to be talked about and more than once.
Joyce says
So often teachers don’t get the support from parents or higher ups in the school. They have so many restrictions on what they can do to stop misbehavior, and when they call the parents, the response is, “not my precious…he/she would NEVER do that!” When children see adults being bullies, they mimic the behavior. In today’s world, I sometimes think adults are so crazed with politics that they honestly don’t realize that what they are doing is bullying. I know some people who would agree that being a bully is totally wrong, and in the next breath say insulting things about people who hold the opposite political view as themselves. There have always been bullies and I think there always will be. It’s a two-part process to deal with it. One, take action to prevent it, but also provide the support and care needed for the bullied child to overcome it.
bewtjwgmailcom says
I”M with you Judy
dezertsuz says
If we don’t start doing something at an early age to help children have compassion and be able to see the other person’s point of view, we’re going to descend into chaos and events like the Pittsburg temple and the night club last night are going to become more and more common. We can’t take away every weapon someone can devise to hurt others, but we can work on teaching do no harm.
Nelle Coursey says
I agree with you completely! Parents need to be parents and guide those kids and not just let them “grow up”!! If the kids are not instructed from the time they are born, they will never know right from wrong. However there are some parents now who have never been given these instructions and don’t know how to be parents. Or they are too young to know what is right and what is wrong. I don’t know the answer but, like you, I think it starts with paying attention to your kids. The schools should not tolerate any bullying at all! I don’t care if the kid is the son or daughter of the president of the school board! I think the schools should have training on this from the janitors on up to the supt. Parents should be told when their kids are being bullied or are the bullies!
cassews says
Our middle granddaughter was “cutting herself” due to bullying … Thankfully our daughter had gotten her help. Its sad but bullying has been going on since forever which is even sadder.
JEAN says
All the teaching about countering it. All the emphasis put on it. Classes against it . Groups protesting it. There is so much time spent battling it. And still it seems as if bullying is on the rise, instead of decreasing. Parents are the answer. Obviously they are the ones needing the tools to combat it. But they need to get involved. Live life with compassion and empathy. Show one person every day that it is possible to handle feelings in a positive way. Stop bullying where it starts.
-Jean <3