As Vince and I mull over whether we really want to buy another house . . putting the numbers on paper and seeing the actual cost kinda makes me want to back away from that idea.
Remember . . this is all in MO and the cost of living is way less there than somewhere like CA so when I say “it costs a lot”, I’m saying “it costs a lot for us” while realizing these figures would be a real bargain somewhere like CA.
We have the option of renting which would be great because if Chad moves, we simply say “we’ll be gone in 30 days” and move out. But renting also puts us with very close neighbors, usually very close to a street. We’re so used to living out in the country, I know I could adjust because I’d just look at it as the cost of being near Addie. Vince . . not sure he could adjust and I don’t want to hear every day that this was YOUR idea and I never wanted to do this.
Whatever we do, we’ll be there less than half the time and that, at least in my head, magnifies the costs.
We can rent there for about $700/month – a nice 2 bedroom/2 bath duplex with a garage. I figure about $200 per month for water/sewer/electricity. There would be no maintenance, no repairs, no grass to be cut and no real estate commission to pay when we move away.
If we buy a house, I figure the costs to be about these amounts:
- property taxes – $200 (we cannot get homestead exemption since it isn’t our full time residence)
- insurance – $100 per month
- utilities – $200 (the same as an apartment probably)
- grass cutting – $75 (none in the winter but more in the summer so that’s an average)
Then take into account the money you would make on the cost of the house if you had the money invested. The houses there do not go up much in value, and then the cost of selling it when we decide to go or when Chad moves.
All this in addition to what it costs to keep the house in Texas. Vince just retired. I think I remember a budget and there was nothing budgeted for a second home.
In the end, paying $700 per rent is $8,400 for a year. One year of renting would pay for real estate commission when we sell the second place.
Then add back the cost of being able to spend more time with them. This will be the 8th Christmas we’ve spent alone. I’m ready to spend a Christmas with them. I’m ready to see Addie open her presents and see what Santa left. I want to be there for her soccer games or her recitals. I want to be there for breakfast with grandparents! To me, that’s priceless. To Vince . . another expense.
One day I’m so excited that it may all work out for us to get a place there. The next day, the numbers and “what if this or that happens” runs through my head and then I walk away from the initial plan. A friend wrote on Facebook this morning that we should do it before we talk ourselves out of it. That’s true. I’m feeling it.
We love so much about our place here but there’s so much we don’t love. I think I’m more in love with what I wanted it to be than what it is. Grass burrs have taken over the garden and they’re almost impossible to get rid of. Snakes are everywhere . . in the garden . . in the chicken coop. Plants won’t grow because of lack of rain and because of the pH of our water.
There are so many thoughts going through my head . . I think I’ll go take a nap!
Joyce says
The snakes would push me over the edge. I have snakes, but they are the harmless type, and I don’t see them very often!
Kathleen says
Any chance Chad’s house has a basement? I know someone who helped their child finish the basement with the expectation of having a place for the parents to stay when they visited. Some years later the child sold the house and paid back the parent’s investment… What about an RV? Can you park an RV in their yard? Or a tiny house?
You’ll know what to do when you know what to do…
Judy Laquidara says
No basement and no place to park an RV. I had hoped they would buy a place with room for an RV but that didn’t happen.
Madge says
Have you talked to Chad and his wife (sorry can’t think of her name at the moment) about what their long term plans are? Are they planning (at this point) to stay in that area or relocate elsewhere? Is there the option of you and Vince AND Chad and his wife all selling the properties you have now and investing in a new place that has room for all of you? By room for all of you either 2 homes on the same property; or a large house with 2 masters suites, shared space, AND private areas for each couple? I’m trying to think of an option that would allow all to have both some privacy and yet still share some activities (like a garden and chickens). I’m in California so I’m not familiar with what housing costs are in the areas you’ve considered. I think you mentioned in the past that Vince has a daughter somewhere, maybe he would be more willing to move if it meant he could see her more often? (You don’t have to reply publicly to that question, steps can make everything more complicated). Good luck in whatever you decide.
Judy Laquidara says
We wouldn’t want to live in the same house, no matter what the arrangements. We like our privacy and they do too. They have a big dog . . we have Rita and Boots.
They have no plans to move (just bought a house in February) but you never know when they’ll move for a job. Who knows what the future holds. A house in MO wouldn’t put Vince close enough to his daughter to make any difference for him.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. We’re trying to think of everything!
Betsy Lewis says
We had a house built to be close to our grand babies. Around the corner to be exact. Like you we wanted to be able to experience the joy of grandchildren. We are only here for a short time. I’m sure you can make it work.
Marianne says
Addie is not going to be little forever. As a neutral reader (I come on occasion) and about your age, if I were you I’d sell the place in Texas and move closer to my son and family. Maybe something half an hour away from Chad so you could find a place with more land.
Patricia Anderson says
Not sure you need me to chime in again, but how about a movable tiny home or a mobile home? Friends of ours are going to build a barnaminium (might have spelled that wrong, but they look great and are way less expensive). Would it be cheaper to buy a small lot just out of town and put something like that on it? I am so loving having our grandkids one house away–no amount of money would make us move. So many moments that we have to treasure and hopefully, they’ll have wonderful memories of us. If there is a way to make it work, I say do it! I do realize that our situation isn’t for everyone. We are a military family and very close to our sons. The oldest is the only one with a wife and children so he got us by process of elimination (the younger wants us at least 5 minutes away for some reason!). I know I’m way sappy about this because I didn’t have grandparents and I think it is such an important role. The almost 14-year old came up to me just to give me a big hug today–love it! I asked if he was just showing me how much taller he is and he said no, he just wanted to hug me. (Full disclosure…his birthday is the end of the month so he may be sucking up!) The 7-year old was having breakfast at the island with Grandpa the other day and asked if he could sit in his lap. Priceless moments for us! Don’t give up. I think you will find a way to make it work!
dezertsuz says
The things that have no price on them are the things that are the most valuable. While it’s certainly true that Chad’s job *could* take them away, it’s also possible it won’t. There’s most likely an equal possibility at this point, so I personally would drop that from the equation.
Many of the things that you are thinking about have nothing to do with money, and you and Vince would attach different values to each one. It may come down to each of you “giving” on some things until you arrive at a middle ground and see what’s possible there. =)
Double wide mobiles are pretty nice these days, and some of them don’t even look mobile! You can get a log cabin finish on the outside and a porch, all kinds of things. If you bought land, you could dig a basement and put them mobile over it – or a manufactured house of some kind. I watched the folks at the farm store in SD build several homes on their property and then place them over basements on someone’s property. They looked quite nice and weren’t terribly expensive per sq. ft.
In the end, I know you will reach consensus and find a middle ground that provides what each of you wants the most.
Diane in CA says
I think buyng a house near Chad would be my choice..If you rent, you will still have to care for your current house while you are away.. Will you have a house sitter, will the neighbors to do your chores to keep it liveable? Will you be worried about it the whole time? What if there is a fire.. who will grab your treasures for you?
What are you taking to the apartment? Yarn, sewing, fabric, which machines? How about your kitchen stuff.. all those appliances you use now, will they go with you? Will you have room for the freeze dryer? And your food and TP stash.?
How will you decide it’s ok to go home so you won’t miss any Addie events..? School year, holidays, what about summer?
If you buy.. you will have all your stuff.. Vince will have all of his.. Vince will have a workshop and you a sewing room. Addie can come over and learn to quilt and sew and garden and there will be room to spend the night. If you rent, all you will be doing is visiting, no matter how long you stay it is still a visit and you aren’t permanent in Addie’s life…
I understand Vince doesn’t want to live where you do, but isn’t it your turn to pick? You are in TX because of his job, maybe its time to be in MO because of your job as Grandma. Ok, you don’t know how long Chad will be there but if he does get transferred somewhere, it won’t be any different than it is now.. you will have to drive for hours to see them. But you will be in a place that gets rain for your garden and doesnt have any snakes, scorpions or grasshoppers.. (I hope). Are you up to doing this 2 house thing for the next 10 years ?
So, I would move in a second.. and yes, you are right.. in California money they are giving those houses away. !
MoeWest says
Is there an RV park near Chad? You don’t have to be parked on his property to spend more time together.