I’m not complaining so please . . no sermons about appreciating my husband. I do! I am actually looking forward to him retiring in a few years. No more shirts to iron. No more 5:30 wake up calls so breakfast can be on the table by 6.
But, when he’s home . . there is no “normal”. On the days he’s at work, I wander around aimlessly but I usually take 20 or 30 pictures a day. I think of things to write about. When he’s home, things are just different. We’ll find our new normal when he’s home every day.
This morning I fixed a big breakfast and then I don’t know what happened . . I washed one load of jeans and they’re still in the washer. I haven’t knitted. I haven’t sewed. I haven’t done anything!
Not long after breakfast, he said “Let’s go to Brady and eat Mexican.” Ughh . . I didn’t want to drive 40+ miles one way just to eat. I want to eat healthy but I said ok. He took a shower, came out and said “We’re going to McAlister’s.” Huh? He decided he didn’t want to drive to Brady. That makes me happy because a trip to Brady is never complete for him unless he stops at Tractor Supply and Walmart. Yes, we have both of those here but he loves going to the ones in Brady.
We went to McAlister’s, got home about 2:30 and here it is almost 8 and I’ve done nothing. Have nothing to tell you, nothing to show you. Pretty sad, huh? Maybe I’ll do better tomorrow.
Lee Young says
I’d be the LAST one to give you a sermon on appreciating your husband – it’s obvious you DO! I had to chuckle at that though. I’m one of those who values MY daytime hours as just that, MINE. Whether I’m ‘doing my own thing’ or handling my chores and responsibilities, daytime is MINE and OUR time is when the hubs gets home from work and weekends, ditto for when DS gets home from school. Wellllll, last Feb. hubs took a job as a remote employee…it has turned my world on end. It’s ME, not HIM. He mostly stays at his desk in the bedroom, but he comes out at lunch, or he opens the door and then talks loudly on the phone, and he’s just…HOME. He’s supposed to be at WORK, right? It’s hard for me to change out of my IDEAL. So now, I really, really appreciate him…WHEN he goes to Phoenix for work three days a month, and times like now, when and DS have gone to visit his out-of-state dad and I have the house entirely to myself! I don’t have to close the door to the bathroom, or feel like I might be disturbing him if I run the bathroom. His work hours use to be my time, the house was my domain during those hours…not anymore.
Lee Young says
That should have said…run the vacuum…not the bathroom, lol. Shows how flustered it makes me. ;p
smassena2014 says
I can relate to this. Time just vanishes when they are in the house. I don’t know where it goes, but I get so much less done. I really think it is because there are now distractions here. When he went to work in the morning, I had a schedule and did what needed doing and then the time was mine until time to make supper. Now it is like everyday is a weekend day even after 3 years. But I don’t begrudge it because life is short enough..
Janet Bland says
When I retired, I thought I would quilt. My husband would say “let’s ride…” Forget quilting. Then I realized that he enjoys my company on his treks around the city. When my Dad died two years ago, I realized that no one knows how much time you have with your loved ones, so it’s ok for me to ride around with hubby and quilt when I can find time.
Paula says
Some days are meant for just chilling. I was still teaching when my husband retired. I wasn’t happy about that. I told him if I had to still work, he had to do all the cooking during the week. He learned to cook! Now I have retired. Most of the time we each do our own thing in our own spaces. His is the barn, which is really his woodworking building. Mine is the utility room with my sewing machine and the game room, which has a pool table where I can place a big cutting mat. Only now that it’s cooler, he has discovered the nice recliners and bigger tv in the game room. Not used to being around him so much! ?
Linda Mincher says
That’s so funny. My hubby will hopefully be retiring soon and he has been off the past couple of weeks and I just can’t seem to keep my “normal” going with him around either. Part of this too is that my daughter is home from school right now as well, but hubby and I laugh about how things might be once he’s home with me every day. We’ll just have to find a “new normal”.
wanda j says
Ladies I understand where you are coming from. My hubby has been home since 2005. I took awhile to adjusting to him being here but you will find your way just hang in there.. You will get to where you can do more he will do his thing and you can do yours. Just hang in there.I find myself gone doing volunteer work at a school just to have some women time. But there is more cleaning to do at home with him here all the time and more cooking meals.Retirement isn’t what I thought it would be that is for sure. He !!! He !! sitting sewing, quilting, and crafts not enough time anymore seems like.Oh well enjoy the minutes of companionship.
MrsB says
Sounds like heaven to me. ?
MrsB says
I guess Samsung smiley faces don’t map over. Do 🙂
Judy D in WA says
I keep hoping things will smooth out and we will find a normal that includes my treasured Judy time. It’s gone missing and I want it back. Come on spring and summer when Mr Retired will work part time again. 🙂 Does this make me selfish?
Anne Simonot says
Oh Judy L & Judy D, I sympathize with you both. My husband works really close to home now, and this making two meals a day, eating, & cleaning up seems to take huge chunk out of my day. I can’t wait til he works elsewhere again! I miss my me time all day too!
Nancy says
My husband retired almost three years ago and I continue to work. He was suppose to become the chief cook and bottle washer. It did not happen. He does watch grandkids part of the time. Actually 4 full time during the summer and school holidays and says he has no time for house work. So how did I do both and more when our kids were little? Anyway I digress, I have found that when I get home he wants my time, I understand that, but makes ‘me’ time hard, since I am also washing dishes, sweeping floors, doing laundry, paying bills etc. So even on my days off I get up at 5:30 so I can have me time in the sewing room before the day begins. Now if only as the kids get older he will pick up some of the tasks maybe I can get some more time for quilting as I do less house work. I am not thinking it is going to happen. So the mornings will continue to be my time while he sleeps in. Oh well that is my best time for sewing anyway…..
Dar in MO says
I totally understand all the comments about the hubby being at home all the time. The only time I have for ME is when he goes to bed early and I stay up until 2 am. Thank goodness I am a nightowl. I also get ME time because I leave the house more to volunteer for lots of things. It is hard if he does not have any hobbies or is not motivated to help with chores. The TV entertains him way more than normal, and I do everything else I can to avoid TV. Sound familiar Judy?
Susan T says
When my DH retired, he acted like we were on vacation for the first 3 months. I had to sit him down and explain that we had to adjust to being retired, and not on permanent vacation. I also asked him which of the items which I had always taken care of, did he want to take on…..
He also quickly learned that if he was hungry and I was busy, it was ok for him to begin some meal prep – he’s a pretty good cook! Now we share chores and both have time to enjoy our individual hobbies – for me its quilting and other crafts, and for him its golf and his band that entertains for free at nursing homes in our area.
Good luck when it is your turn – there will be many adjustments made by both of you!
Debra McKinney says
OMG. Sounds like my life. Mine has been on vacation for 2 weeks and he is driving me crazy. He did clean out his closet and tomorrow he is cleaning his office. I may have to get a job when he retires. Lol
dezertsuz says
Oh, no, that’s not sad at all! I used to love doing-nothing days with Paul. Just living and chatting, eating, laughing. Those are great days, the very best ones.
Mel says
I’m totally with you on the “me” time! However, I’m looking forward to when we buy a farm so mine can stop working outside the home and we have more together time. He has his things and I have mine. Some of which overlap too. However, I wish mine would suggest going somewhere! He’s more than happy to stay home 24/7 if I let him. I have to bug him to go out to eat or to the stores or anything that involves a retail experience. LOL