Vince was raised by parents who immigrated to the U. S. as teens, met, married and had a family. I cannot even imagine how hard that must have been. Having lived almost my entire life in Louisiana, then moving to Kentucky was culture shock enough for me. Even with no language barrier (or not much of one!), just moving from one area, probably even within the same state, to another area, though so many things are the same, so many things are different.
I grew up in the deep south with parents who had a close relationship with their families; both my mom and dad would strike up a conversation with complete strangers and end up inviting them over for dinner. I spent lots of time at my grandparents’ farm growing up, which was just down the road from my great grandparents’ place (grandpa’s family). One of my grandpa’s sisters and some of her children and grandchildren still live on my great grandparents’ old home place. My mom’s brother and his wife lived next door to us growing up and I’m still close to him and his wife, and they have an ever closer relationship with Chad and Nicole. I love that!
Vince, on the other hand, never knew any of his grandparents, nor did he know his aunts and uncles. We have totally different ideas about family and there’s often a bit of a clash. He doesn’t understand the importance of grandma being in Addie’s life. I understand that so much of how we are, and how we think, is related to how we grew up and the values we learned as children. It doesn’t mean I’m moving over to his way of thinking about the relationship with grandchildren but . . I just threw that in so that every time I go to MO, you know there’s been a lot of grumbling and eye rolling around here before I leave.
I suppose Vince’s parents were more of the “keep to yourself” type people and therefore, Vince isn’t real outgoing. We can walk through Walmart and I’ve stopped and chatted with 3 or 4 people, exchanged recipes, email addresses, and talked about quilting or knitting. Vince never speaks to anyone in the store. Often, even if he knows someone, it’s a mere nod.
Probably there are some personality differences, as well as learned behavior differences.
When we were dating, we were deep within cajun country at a very popular restaurant waiting in line for a table. There was an older couple behind us and I struck up a conversation with them. By the time our table was ready, it was a table for 4 and I asked them to join us. We were all talking and laughing and when we left, Vince said “What were the chances of you running into someone you knew?” I said “I didn’t know those people!” I think he almost thought of heading back to Georgia and never seeing his crazy Louisiana woman again! He still talks about howhe thought those people we were old friends and we didn’t even know each other.
Yesterday Vince wanted to go eat Chinese. I’m not a fan of those all you can eat buffet places so Vince bribed me . . if I would go, then I get to pick the next two places we eat. I told him “OK. But you’re going to forget you said that when it’s time for me to choose!” He said “No! I won’t. You can take my picture!” Huh?
So, we went and I was sitting picking at my food; Vince had gone back to get more. A lady had walked over to the table next to me where two ladies were sitting and they started talking about knitting. KNITTING?!? My ears perked up and I said to myself .. go talk to them! So I did. We hit it right off, exchanged contact info and I’ve already been talking to one who wants to learn to knit socks. Hopefully we’re going to get together this week.
Vince came back to our table so I returned and he said “Do you know those people?” No! He said “Why do I even ask any more?” I don’t know! Then he said “You just gave your phone number to strangers!” Yes, do you remember back when there were phone books and everyone had access to everyone’s number and most of the time, addresses too? I’m not worried.
But, I think he’s worried about anyone who strikes up a conversation with strangers and makes plans to meet and sit and knit together. I’d be more worried about that lady from Louisiana who met that man from Georgia on the internet and got together and got married almost 19 years ago! 🙂
Carolyn says
Not to worry ….my husband said the same thing last fall when I met a lady three hours from home so she could learn to Rug Hook. He also thought I was crazy, but I “knew” that person from reading her blog. We had a blast and made some wonderful memories.
Jen says
That last sentence about killed me. It’s the truth…. & I’m still laughing!!!
montanaclarks says
Your last sentence had me laughing! It’s the same in our household–I grew up in a loving family and had a large, loving extended family. I spent lots of time with both sets of grandparents. Michael on the other hand was an only child to an only child mother. Their family was not loving or affectionate and as a result, Michael has trouble show affection. He finds being with my close family difficult–as a result that’s why we take the motorhome to Arkansas for Christmas–so he has his own space. My southern heritage has me talking to complete strangers, too, something Michael isn’t comfortable doing. But, we make it work, don’t we!