I go through spurts of wanting to take a nap every afternoon and then it may be months that I don’t take a nap. I seem to be in that “I need a nap everyday” mode now.
But, here’s what I’m wondering . . why is it that I feel guilty when I take a nap but yet Vince sits in his chair and snoozes several times a day and it doesn’t bother him one bit? It’s that same thing that he doesn’t mind sitting and watching TV while I’m in the kitchen for hours, or trying to cook and hang the clothes out of the dryer and take the dogs out and . . oops, there’s Cat. I need to go out and feed him. Yet, if I’m sitting and knitting and Vince gets up to go do something, I feel like I need to get up and help. It doesn’t bother him to sit while I’m working and he doesn’t care if I’m sitting while he’s working . . but it bothers me.
Is that personality? Mars vs. Venus? Do you feel the same way I feel?
Yesterday after Vince went back to work, I thought . . I have to take a nap so I did. I probably went to sleep about 1:15 p.m. and woke up about 2:30 and thought . . I’m not done sleeping yet, but decided I should get up. Sure enough . . I hadn’t been up 10 minutes and Vince walked in. He had to run home and get something. I was thinking it was a good thing I had not gone back to sleep. He wouldn’t care that I was napping . . it just makes me feel like a slacker.
Today Vince wasn’t coming home for lunch. I was up pretty early this morning and was thinking I might take an early afternoon nap but I knew as soon as I did, Vince would change his lunch plans and come home for lunch and I’ll be sleeping!
I didn’t take a nap. He didn’t come home. All is well, but the afternoon isn’t over yet. There’s still time for a nap, but then Vince might come home early and find me sleeping. 🙂
I think naps are healthy. A short nap will give you more energy afterwards.
I feel the same way. I feel guilty when I am on my laptop, even if it is for work, and my husband is up and about doing something. I think it is a female thing. He probably doesn’t even see me on my laptop and I am sitting there feeling guilty. I never judge my husband for what he is doing, even if it is watching TV for hours, so why do I think he is judging me?
Ranch Wife says
LOL…welcome to my world! And I feel better knowing that I’m in good company! Gary often takes a 10 minute power nap after dinner at noon. I’m just not wired that way. I am better off not laying down at all, because if I do, I am out! And yes, when I DO try to sneak in a nap, it never fails…I get caught and he laughs when he catches me. I don’t know if it’s Venus or Mars…my parents were Catholic and I always thought I was born with a double dose of Catholic guilt.
Nobody can change your attitude towards the but you. I am a wife not a slave. I have a good life and my own hobbies. Hubby has his. After I retired from teaching and was home more it didn’t take long to establish the fact that I am not his maid nor his mother. I cook lunch and he can heat his own leftovers. I do my laundry on Thursday while I clean house. I do his laundry on Friday and he doesn’t his own ironing Saturday night while watching tv. We both have hobbies and we both have a life beyond this house. Most men were coddle by a mother and expect a wife to do the same. Not me….I refuse to be a maid or a mother to a grown man.
Judy, I understand completely. I am the same way. It’s a complex thing…like I always need to prove that I am a worthy and industrious mate..to show he made a good choice!
Maybe it’s a way of showing appreciation for the nice home and good life he has provided for me.
It’s not acting like a slave at all. It’s making a happy home and being a good helpmeet to a wonderful husband.
Yeah, I think its a Venus vs Mars thing. I too feel like I should get up when hubby is cleaning – even if I’ve spent hours cooking and cleaning myself and his contribution is little by comparison. (No complaints) I think women have a harder time taking ‘me time’ just for themselves. I’m getting better at it! Oh – and I love naps.
Since your guilt seems to be tied to Vince seeing you napping, tie a bell around the front door so you can hear him come home and jump out of bed!
You will be freshly rested and Vince will be none the wiser! (Not that he cares if you are sleeping, I am sure!)
So funny, because I was just commenting on this to my daughter. Hubs lost his job on 1/4, but will be starting a new one on 2/8. I asked him today about his start date and his reply after telling me, was “I guess I’m on vacation now until the 8th.” What?? You haven’t worked except to ‘look’ for work and spend time in front of the computer looking at the Drudge report and now you’re on ‘vacation’? I kept my trap shut. I’m well aware of how us women are ON 24/7/365…even after men retire. I’ll go back to studying Proverbs 31 now, and try not to grumble.
Peg H says
Why DO we feel this way? It’s the same way here. I work long hours from home – every day – and yet I feel guilty if I’m not doing something visibly constructive. Doesn’t bother Better Half one bit to sit & watch TV for hours …. I watch one show and think of everything I *could* have gotten done in that 40 minutes or so … Mars vs. Venus indeed.
Diana G says
I used to feel that way , I had to be doing everything with him..Pfffttt ..when its nappy time its nappy time (unless his family is around then I stay up … So they cannot say I was being rude and took a nappy while they were here !LOL).
I am his partner not his maid, cook and chief bottle washer as his mother still is.
Yep quite often around here I keep saying Men are from Mars and women are from Venus – worlds apart.
Carolyn Sullivna says
I feel the same way! Guilty BC I’m not doing anything productive… There is a lot to do just to maintain the house, house work, laundry…. Dusting…. Clean the fridge…. Wash the tub and showder…exhausts me just thinking about it. DH is laying down right now and it’s 9AM! I think I need to finish my coffee and do the dishes, the kitchen floor, wash some walls……
Sue S says
Yes, that’s a female thing I’m sure. Hubby has no problem stopping everything to watch a football game or rest because he’s tired, but by the same token he never says a word if I need a rest… although I will get a gentle wink-wink-did you have a nice nap comment once in a while. He does all the housework during the week while I work outside the home, so Sundays he sometimes whines if I want to be doing something ‘work-like’ instead of resting up in the living room with him!
I totally know how you feel! I am also a homemaker, so that I feel is my ‘job’. I am not nearly as good at it as you are though, LOL. I tend to wait on my hubby a little too much, I know. And, the only time I feel I can relax is after the cooking and cleaning has been done and he is in ‘rest mode’ as well.