When I wrote the “Seize the Day” post last week, there were a few comments that made me wonder if readers thought I meant everyone needs to be up at daybreak and going non-stop til bed time. That is not what I think and I hope I never think that way. Correct or incorrect, what I think is . . we all need to do as much as we can of the things we enjoy. And occasionally, we have to do the things we don’t enjoy so much . . which for me is cleaning the house.
If sitting in the recliner all day watching I Love Lucy re-runs makes you happy and it doesn’t create problems for your family . . then sit in the recliner all day and watch I Love Lucy re-runs! If you have a husband who occasionally expects a home cooked meal or clean laundry and that isn’t getting done, there might be a slight problem and adjustments in your schedule may need to be made. 🙂
When you really stop and think about the things I do that keep me so busy:
- The garden – I could buy the veggies at the grocery store and probably save a lot of $$ by doing so
- Knitting – Who in Texas needs anything made out of wool
- Quilting – We have more quilts in this house than we’ll ever use
- Cooking – Both of us could obviously skip a few meals
While I do as much as I can to help my immediate family, I’m not changing the world! So, what’s the difference in sitting in the recliner all day watching I Love Lucy re-runs or sweating in the hot sun tending a garden or cutting fabric into small pieces and sewing it back together again?
Find what works for you . . when you go to bed at night, if you’re happy with your accomplishments of the day . . you did good! If you wish you had done more or something differently . . change it tomorrow!
You know what aggravates the heck out of me? In the morning Vince is rushing around getting his “to go” coffee cup ready and grabbing his last minute things for work so after breakfast, I go to the recliner, sit down with Speck so neither of us is in Vince’s way and I usually pick up my knitting. Five minutes! He’s out the door within five minutes and I’m up and busy. Often in the morning I will have made bread, done laundry (which is hanging on the line as he walks by), worked in the garden, maybe done a little sewing, and lunch is ready. There’s about a 15 minute window within which time he arrives for lunch so once lunch is done, I’ll usually sit back down in the recliner and knit while waiting for him to get home.
He walks in the door and he almost always will say “You been sitting there all morning? That’s where you were when I left!” Really? There was a time when I would try explaining all the things I had accomplished since he last saw me sitting in the recliner but nowadays . . the much older and wisher Judy simply responds . . yep, haven’t moved a muscle since you left.
Rhonda says
LOL on the “”yes, I haven’t moved from the recliner all day!”
You are so right about finding what’s right of the individual. I’m awake early and do little things throughout the day…at my own pace which everyone else in my world of people thinks I’m just sitting around…..boy are they wrong but I don’t bother telling them because it’s a waste of breath.
Take care!!
Mary in VA says
You forgot to put the chickens on your list of things that you do! And yes, you can buy eggs cheaper than keeping chickens, but you wouldn’t have as much fun.
lynne quinsland says
and the eggs would not be as fresh and good for you. same as the veggies in the garden–all organic and have so much more flavor.
Deb says
Too funny! That reminds me of the joke where the man comes home from work, the kids are running around out front, the front door is open as is the fridge and freezer. Things all over the floor and house and he runs to find his wife who is reading on the bed. He asks what happened and her response ”You always ask what I do all day, well today I didn’t do it!’.
Barbara says
I think you are a good example because you live your own life, not because you do so much. I think you inspire people to try new things and do the things they love.
Some people seem to think they fall short because they aren’t doing all that you do, but that’s never the message I take away.
Doreen says
LOL!!! Great post!! I totally agree (and got your meaning the first ‘go-round’)! We each “make our own music” and once in a while there are some ‘flat notes’ which, Lord willing, we can change when the next morning dawns. Blessings……..
Deb says
I think we all get that! I am not sure what they expect to come home to…. Even when I have CLEANED all day, he doesn’t see it anyway, so I agree, it is a waste of time and energy to try and explain yourself! Totally a Venus and Mars thing, since we all go through it.
I wish I had as much energy and ambition as you! But I know that isn’t going to change! Just like I wish I was one of those women who could go to the gym every day, or reliously excersise everyday. Again, it is just not “me”. I also think if you know who you are, you won’t always fall short too, which is disheartening too. I love reading your stories, just like I like reading about about people who do crazy things like hike or bike a thousand miles. Because it is NOT me…but someone I admire….
Betty Edwards says
We have a running joke here in our “retired universe!” Each morning hubby tells me he is going out to slave in the heat while I sit here cooling it! I then declare I am taking the day off! He laughs and tells me that’s every day, lol
I always say I don’t like to be caught working! Lol
Each to there own, thing is be happy, look to God for sll things
Bad life may not always be good but you will make it regardless! As for me and hubby, we are happy in our retirement!
Hugs,
Betty
Jane says
Conversely, I find that if I just get the vacuum out & leave it out, my hubby thinks I’ve cleane
d and tells me how nice the house looks! Not that I’d ever trick him that way on purpose, of course!
Lee says
17 yrs ago when hubby & I married I had this vision of “all things perfect” and at first attempted that…it was, however, only my own image of what should, could, must be. At one point when I was ranting at my inability to keep things up the way I wanted, Marty turned to me and said “You keep it cleaner than I ever would.”. I relaxed then and things may not be even to my standards but I’m not beating myself up anymore. I also figured, my “job” or duties as a housewife/mother put me ‘on call’ 24/7 whereas his doesn’t, so I don’t worry about any time I sit and sew, or relax when maybe another might be up scurrying around to have every mite of dust dusted.
Linda in NE says
Tell me if you think I have an attitude problem…..my house is lived in and we haven’t been closed down by the health department so it’s good enough. If anyone doesn’t like it this way they can stay away. If someone doesn’t like the way I do things they’ll just have to get over it because I’m not changing at this late stage of the game. I know my husband thinks I come up short because all his mother ever did was cook, clean, scrub floors, wash windows inside and out, work the garden, can, do many loads of laundry & iron it all….she never had a hobby,never sat down to read, only sewed to patch or make clothes for the kids. But you know what? That’s his problem, not mine, and it’s way down at the bottom of my worry list somewhere and keeps getting moved lower. Life is way to short to spend every minute of it slaving to please others.
Quilter Kathy says
You do change the world by helping your loyal readers to get through each day 🙂
Linda in NE says
Amen to that!
Donna F says
So true! You are a teacher of all things in life on this blog! We all learn something from you everyday.
Deb@asimplelifequilts says
I think “busyness” like perfection is overrated… I hope to spend the rest of my days aiming for contentment in my little slice of the world. I’m convinced now that I’m in my early 50’s that I’m in charge of MY happiness. Less stress – more fun ahead!
Linda in NE says
My husband has the “busyness bug.” He’s scurrying around outside in the heat right now doing his best to look like he’s working. I’m inside in the air-conditioned house messing on the computer. Is he really the better person or just hot & sweaty?
Darling Jill Quilts says
I keep thinking that I want to hire someone to give the place a once over once a month, but I would rather spend that money on fabric!
If I didn’t have to clean up dog toys all the time… I keep giving the dogs a talk when I leave the house… “You dogs don’t pull your weight around here! I expect this house to be spotless when I get home tonight! No more mess!” They just blink at me for a few seconds and then wag their tails and I smile. Their work is done!
Linda in NE says
Heck, just tell him you waved your magic wand and got everything done, including his lunch, and if he doesn’t behave himself you’ll turn him into a toad & he can catch his own flies for lunch. Just to see his reaction, you know???? 🙂
AngieG9 says
When I first married I even ironed the sheets. He didn’t notice. When I cooked all I heard was “Mom didn’t make it this way”. I finally told him mine didn’t either, but that’s the way I made it and if he didn’t like it he could go home and let his mom cook for him. After that he never said that again. My first priority after the kids came along was to make sure they always knew they were loved, because the housework would always be there, but they would grow up and leave. Most of the things I did were not noticible, so I was never given credit for what I did, but if I left something undone, it was immediatly noticed. I finally realized I had to live for myself and not worry about what other people thought or cared. If they came to visit me that was fine. If they came to critize the house, they weren’t friends and therefore weren’t really welcome. To this day, I live for what I can do and not for what others think I should do. I know my limitations, and I know the penalty if I go over those limitations. I have an unforgiving disease that is hard for people to understand, because I look like everyone else, but MS is not like other diseases. I do what I can and don’t sweat the small stuff. My friends know how it is. Those who don’t aren’t my friends, so I just ignore them. I would love to have the energy other people have, but realistically I know my limits, so if I have to sit and read a book or just knit something, so be it. Tonight I will pit cheeries, when I come home from dinner at the Moonlite. Tomorrow I will make cherry syrup and waffles, and maybe some squash relish. Yesterday I made summer sausage. Day after tomorrow I’ll hopefully make green tomato relish. It all depends on how I feel when I wake up in the mornings, but I do what I can do each day and don’t let what other people do influence me. That doesn’t mean I don’t envy their energy, but I do what I can, with what I am able to do each day. Down off the soap box now.
CindM says
I work a reduced schudule, so I usually have Mondays off and every other Friday off. Oftentimes my husband comes home and says “What did you do all day?”….. he doesn’t really mean he thinks I didn’t do anything (although as I’ve reminded him, if I don’t want to do anything all day, that’s okay)… but just the way he says it is irritating. I think if he left out the “all day” and just asked “What did you do today?” it would be les irritating. funny thing is the days I don’t do a darn thing, he doesn’t say that!
Donna F says
I have to tell you this story and make you laugh. It was early on in my first marriage. My house was spotless all the time. Even my silverware was all aligned in their bins and all shiny! I always had dinner on the table every night, I had my little garden out back, I never used a clothes dryer, always on the clothesline, etc… I had a couple over one afternoon and I noticed I was 20 minutes late starting dinner so my friends sat in the kitchen while I started browning hamburger meat for whatever it was I was making. Just as I got it browned hubby walks in the door, spoke to our friends, looked at me and said “are you just now starting dinner? Why isn’t it done? Is that what you’re cooking?” Now I know for sure he wasn’t teasing, he was dead serious. I picked up that cast iron frying pan, opened the back door and tossed the whole thing in the yard and told him nope, I’m not cooking it now!
My friends couldn’t help but laugh but I tell you, after that day he never ever questioned me about a meal ever again. Oh and HE retrieved the pan from the yard and we had pizza with our friends that night. It seemed he began to notice all the things I did around the house after all that and my friends never forgot it and we still laugh about it to this day.
Susan says
Gotta be a guy thing! I tell my hubby that I’ve been sitting around eating Bon-Bons all day LOL. I had to go out of town for work for a couple of days and he had to do all my chores (dogs, cats, chickens, cows, donkeys) before and after work… made all the difference in the world … at least for a little while.
neen says
Judy said: . “the much older and wisher Judy simply responds . . yep, haven’t moved a muscle since you left.”
______________
Judy, you are a gal after my own heart! (especially since, for all you know, Vince just drives to town and back, twice a day…) LOL
Linda Steller says
You don’t give yourself enough credit, Judy! You do change your corner of the world by sharing with us. You also are such a giving person, and you’ve organized so many quilt-related drives for the disasters that have happened over the years. I admire you greatly. Not just because you accomplish so much, but that you do it with a joyous, giving heart.
Andee in AZ says
This post made me smile…love how the older and wiser you just lets it go–don’t sweat the small stuff–good motto! Happy knitting!