This afternoon Vince had to run pick up some weird kind of nails . . yep, it was the trencher . . and that wasn’t all the damage he did but he’s threatened to take my keyboard and my camera away if I mention it on here . . but we stopped by a local fast food place to grab a snack.
A man, woman, and two children, probably 3 and 5 came in and sat at the booth behind us. They were all dressed neatly, looked like upper middle class folks . . probably headed to the lake or a pool party they way they were dressed. Mom was nice and tan . . skinny . . so I already didn’t trust her. 🙂 She may or may not have been the mother to the kids . . I have no idea but both she and the man had on wedding rings (though I’m quite married and neither Vince nor myself had on rings) . . so what does that have to do with anything, right?
Anyway, the little child spilled his drink. The “mom” used about 4 bad words talking to the child. Really? It was a child and it was an accident! She looked at the husband and said “Are we going to PAY for another drink?” The man got up and cleaned up the mess, wiped the kid down, went to the counter and got a towel. Then he went and got another drink . . whether he paid for it or not, I don’t know. The woman never lifted a finger to help. While the man was gone, she kept badgering the kid “Way to go!” “Can’t you do anything right?” I told Vince it was all I could do not to turn around and say something to her.
First, what kind of woman talks to a child that way? He wasn’t being loud or obnoxious and thank goodness, as far as I could tell, he wasn’t crying or I probably would have said something to her. And, what kind of man lets a woman talk to a kid that way without stopping her? Moms . . please teach your sons to be MEN!
We got in the car and I told Vince . . You wonder sometimes why I love Nicole so much? First, she would never ever talk to anyone . . even her enemies, like that and second, she would have gotten up and helped a stranger clean up a spilled drink . . she would never have sat there and let Chad do all the work.
There were dozens of other families in there and probably no one else was talking to their kids this way so say 1 bad egg out of 24 . . it ain’t bad . . unless you’re that one poor little child whose mom acts that way. Poor kid! I cannot imagine being a child and having someone talk to me that way. Heck, I can’t imagine being an adult and having someone talk to me that way.
I remember an incident when Chad was little that I still feel bad about. He was probably 2nd or 3rd grade and had a doctor’s appointment. His doctor was at one of their satellite clinics that day so it was about a 15 mile drive from the school to the doctor. I picked him up at school, took him to the doctor, then we either got lunch or a drink but it was styrofoam cups. We were almost back to school and he kept playing with the straw and I had told him he was going to poke a hole in the cup if he didn’t stop. He didn’t stop and he poked a hole in the cup and the drink spilled all over his clothes and the car. It was about 20 miles home . . we had to drive home, change his clothes, clean out the car, go back to school. I really fussed at him because I had asked him already to stop playing with that straw but I was angry and was more unkind than I should have been and I still feel bad about that incident. I’ve told him several times through the years that I felt bad about it. I don’t think it left any permanent scars and I hope what this woman did today was a one time thing and not a way of life but she surely didn’t let up and the dad surely didn’t say anything to stop her.
Yes, it’s best I stay home and never go out in public. Lately I seem to be a magnet for folks that make me want to become a total recluse.
shirley bruner says
I hear you! the world today is a sad place. but….had you said anything….it’s possible she might have pulled out a gun and shot you for interfering……and at the very least she would have cussed you out. then vince would have gotten in the melee’ and then the other guy would have gotten involved..maybe…and it would have been a big mess….probably with police being called. and, Judy….i don’t have bail money…..so it’s best you just bit your tongue. just say a prayer for the little fellow.
Kay L Ford-Sollimo says
If that woman was, indeed, the mother, she was doing a perfect impersonation of the fabled “evil step-mother”. And, we wonder why some kids have such problems with lack of self worth. Better to not have children if you can’t truly love them and teach them how to be kind to others.
Vivian Oaks says
Some people shouldn’t be parents! And I’m sorry to say, I’m seeing more and more of them as time goes by. These parents obviously learned it from their parents – it’s only going to get worse as time goes by. If you’d said anything, she (and probably the husband) would have jumped all over you, too. You can’t win, but it’s very upsetting to see things like that happen. I agree totally with you.
Judy H says
Back in high school I was a waitress for my spending money, and a similar thing happened at one of my tables. The GrandMother was the one chewing out the child, and nobody stood up for him. I stepped in and told him it was fine, that kids spilled drinks all the time, and cleaned it up. But I find myself thinking about that poor kid often. He was so belittled by her remarks, and there was just NO need for that. I hope the rest of his life wasn’t as difficult as the few minutes I witnessed. 🙁
Peggy says
I agree with you. It would be hard for me not to say anything, but like Shirley said she could have pulled a gun. We have friends with a 2 year old and if he by accident makes a mess or spills something nothing is said, in fact he most likely would help clean up the mess. If he does something on purpose, then his food or drink is removed and he is told why. He is never belittled or cussed at because that is just wrong. I am sure the situation ruined many people present day.
Julie says
Well said Judy!
Sharon in Michigan says
Isn’t it sad how some kids grow up and then we wonder why they have issues and problems. Of course, what’s even sadder is the man who let her belittle him, firstly, and secondly the child. And we wonder why kids end up with low self-esteem. I’m sure that took the enjoyment from your lunch.
Susan Nixon says
In church this morning, the topic was unity, and the first talk was about unity in family. He mentioned how we talk to our children, how the kind of behavior you described (though he didn’t mention the denigrating and swearing) invites contention into the home and bad feelings and what we ought to do instead. I was once in a gas station and a mother was talking like that to her little 2-year old. The child was merely standing in the seat and looking at the window to watch the mom. I was scandalized at the words she used at the child, and like you, it was all I could do to keep my mouth shut and get out of there. I thought then, “Who will you blame when she’s a teenager and talks to you using those same words? Will you wonder where she ever learned such things?”
Debbie Harmon says
My too-near neighbor always treated her kids that way, and now her teenagers are as fowl-mouthed as she has always been. I have to keep my windows on that side of my house closed at all times. Debbie in WV
AngieG9 says
And people wonder why there are school shootings, bullying, and foul mouthed teenagers in the world today. Too bad you didn’t have a tape recorder so she could have heard herself. Maybe then….
Donna says
There seems to be a big thread of disrespect and lack of compassion in our society today. I really worry about what the young generation of today will have to face when they are adults. They sure aren’t seeing many good examples to follow. Parents are so busy talking on cell phones,texting and doing their own thing that they are not preparing the kids for the future. Sad, very sad.
Donna F says
I want to cry when I see something like that. I feel so sorry for the child. There’s NO reason for anyone to be treated like that. I don’t know how you both could contain your feelings.
Linda Steller says
And we wonder why we have people who go off the rails and do horrible things later in life? I remember getting ridiculed for things by my aunt after my parents died. Really made me miss them more than you’d already expect. When my niece was really small, I was landscaping the back yard and had laid out a bunch of bender board. She continued to try to balance on the top of it, even though I’d asked her not to. When it finally broke, she looked at me in horror, like she knew she was in for it. I just said – well, I told you that would happen! She said, “you’re not mad?” I said no — you’re more important to me than that bender board is. You know, I think that did more to get her to behave later on than anything else I could have said to her.
Connie in MN says
Isn’t anti-bullying the politically correct thing these days? If we expect our children to treat other children with respect, should we not also expect parents to extend the same courtesy to their own children? Sadly, it’s so obviously not that way a lot of the time. Society calls attention to children bullying other children…should it not also call attention to parents whose nasty behavior might be sowing the seeds for their own children to become future bullies? Reading your report makes my skin crawl – sort of like fingernails on a chalkboard. Language can so wound our souls and our hearts. I’d like to take that child and wrap my arms around him with a quilt of love. Since that’s not going to happen, I just pray he feels the protection and love of a greater power and hope that what you witnessed isn’t an everyday event.
Hilary McDaniel says
You are a better woman than I. That would have sent me in orbit. I would have been in that woman’s face. Something similar happened at HEB but it was a elderly lady that was being too slow for the lady behind her. She was soooooo rude and I felt abusive. I got in her face and said ” I’m sorry you are having such a bad day. I KNOW you didn’t realize hw mean you were to this swee lady and I sure you’re going to apologize. Being 6′ and loud, the lady was shocked at me but did apologize to that sweet lady. I thanked her and woshed her a better day. The checker told me I was lucky I didn’t get clobbered. I told her if we didn’t start stopping behavior like that we would wake up in a world that has that kind of attitude be the “normal”. I said I didn’t want that happening in my lifetime. I grew up with nice people who help one another.
I wasn’t mean or rude, just very firm and strong,
Glen in Louisiana says
That is how my father would react to something I did. With my brother he was different, but with me up it was always, ” what are you? A two year old child? That is all you will ever be!” My mother would just sit by and watch.
I like to think I rose above his prediction. He was just a mean man.
Cindy says
Oh my heart breaks when I hear this sort of stuff. I have been an elementary school teacher for a great many years of my life and the things parents say? It makes me cringe. Of course not all are like that – it just takes a few loud and obnoxious ones to spoil it for the loving, kind and dedicated families.
Norma V says
some people are lacking and they just take it out of someone they feel is weaker than themselves…
Chris in Texas says
As often as I see this behavior, I have had to try and come to some kind of decision about my reaction. First, I pray. I pray for the child, but I also pray especially for his parents to have patience and a change of heart and attittude. Then, I have decided to do something unexpected: I will help the parents. I know it’s not much, but handing them some napkins and a polite smile may slow her tirade. That mom is obviously in real pain to treat a child like that so she actually needs the most help! Just my two cents…
Linda Smith says
That is so sad. The child did not cry because he is accustomed to being treated in such a manner. What you witnessed was mild verbal child abuse. Can you just imagine what she says and does in private?