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Another Example

Remember my concern about retirement?  Here’s another example.

This morning as I was preparing to fix breakfast, Vince began this conversation:

Vince:  Would you like to go to Whataburger for breakfast?
Me:  Not really!
Vince:  Well, I’d like to run by Wal-Mart and see if they got in any more ammo.  You can sit in the car!
Me:  I need a few groceries and it shouldn’t be so crowded in Wal-Mart today.

So . . dumb me . . I left thinking we were going to Whataburger and Wal-Mart.

Stop #1 – Whataburger as planned.Stop #2 – Wal-Mart as planned though we bought way more than what was on our lists.
Stop #3 – Kroger – Vince’s idea.  I didn’t need a darned thing but we bought a few things.  Dr. Pepper were on sale! 🙂

When we came out of Kroger, I said “The front right tire looks low.”  Vince insisted it wasn’t but we decided to go by the tire shop.  They thought they saw a nail in it so they took it off, checked it but it was a rock.  It was low, as were all the tires so they put more air in them all.  Winter seems to do that to tires.  We were there at least half an hour, probably more like an hour.

Then Vince said “Well, it’s almost lunch time now.  Do you want to go to Taco Bell?”  NO!  But we did.

Stop #4 – Taco Bell.
Stop #5 – Big Lots . . just in case they had any good Christmas candy marked down . . again, not my idea.
Stop #6 – Dollar General – just in case they had any good Christmas candy marked down and they did not.

He so badly wanted to go in Tractor Supply but he could not remember what it was he needed there and I threatened to pitch a fit in the parking lot if he stopped one more place so we came home . . at 2:30.

How will I ever get anything done when he’s home full time?

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. You won’t get anything done when he’s home full time. Enjoy the time you’ve got now!

  2. Oh my, I think Vince and my husband would get along just fine. My husband can spend hours just walking up and down isles looking at everything.Up one side and then down the other side so he doesn’t miss anything.I run in and get what I need and I’m done.

  3. Hubby is retired, I have to pull teeth to get him to go anywhere, course it was like that when he worked too.
    Get Vince to help you with the chores you didn’t get to do while out shopping, bit of that and he will think twice in taking you along. Might be good, might not. But you will have fun figuring that out. LOL
    Hugs!!!!

  4. Before my DH retired I asked all the women I knew with retired husbands what was the secret of having a retired husband.
    the best answer I got was: Let hi retire before you so he has to adjust to retirement on his own without you there to handle things.
    Only problem with that is I worked in my home (as you do) so it wasn’t possible.
    Guess you’ll have to find some other wise and wonderful advice!

  5. Oh, and think of the Knitting and Quilting time you lost with those errands! (But it’s good to step away from the projects and get out and about once in awhile.) 🙂

  6. Oh my! I’m not sure if I should laugh or feel sorry for you. My mom cant even clean the house correctly now that Dad is home to supervise.

  7. I certainly hope you had some sock knitting with you while you waited around at the tire place. I’m so sorry you had to threaten to pitch a fit in the parking lot — but this just made me laugh!

  8. LOL.. My DH keeps hinting about retiring but our youngest is a Jr in high school and we have to get him through college first. He’s a teacher and keeps very busy in the summer… but I have no idea what he will do all winter. Wait and see!

  9. Judy, my dh retired 5 years before I did. He remodeled part of the house the first year. Numerous other projects too. I retired before I wanted to but he really wanted me home. I love being home but wish I had some time at home to myself. He is not playing golf this year (a pulled muscle) and I miss the 4-5 hours a week that I could call mine. He will not go to the grocery store or any errand I need to run. But, I make every trip to Lowe’s or The Home Depot with him, even the barber! I go to the doctor with him (he does not go with me unless it is necessary). I love this man dearly but I (like you) fix 2 good meals for him every day. He stays in bed long after I am up in the morning so he is on his own for breakfast. I do not enjoy going shopping, I like being home quilting, reading, – not watching tv. He has the tv on 24/7, I watch very little.

    I just want 4 or 5 hours a week to myself to get things done that I want to do. He walks every asile and the garden dept every visit to L’s or HD. It can take him an hour or two – majorly boring to me..Because I hate to shop, I go in, get what we wanted or needed and am out the door in a flash.

    You will adjust but it does mean a new learning curve for both of you!

  12. I am in great fear of this also. Even tho my hub doesn’t really like to shop, (I am the one who loves to wander the isles of HD!) he will suck me into all his projects around the house, as he does right now. I have started to tell him “no” especially if it is something I am against, like putting the dock out when we are never there to use it…(do it your self!) or doing flowers in the garden, when we aren’t there to enjoy them. But I am sure if it comes to building or remodeling, I will have to help. And I guess I wouldn’t want him to hurt himself, so I do help. Right now, we have “dump dates” we’re we go to the dump and throw in breakfast or lunch, since we both hate that job!

  14. I envy you that he will go anywhere with you, mine hates shopping, or for that matter, leaving the house unless he wants to go to his favorite hardware…3 or 4 times a week. I just get in the car and go, but hate driving in our busy city. So, I think it’s great that he likes to run around with you..and I have friends who would love to have their dear hubbies back with them to complain about…

  15. Vince needs to learn to go on these shopping trips alone. or you need a long list of excuses.
    …i have a headache
    …i feel like i might throw up
    …i am dizzy
    …etc, etc
    LOL

    • I was agreeing about the “needs to learn how to go shopping alone! LOL
      🙂

      You could always use “I’ll knit you some comfy socks if you don’t make me go shopping…..” I would TOTALLY go shopping alone if I got some home made socks for it. *wink*

      BLM 🙂

  16. My husband works from home and I never get anything done. LOL. I have to be quiet when he’s on the phone with coworkers or clients. And then he randomly takes breaks and decides it’s time to eat or asks if we can start a movie or… He puts in 60 hours a week usually but doesn’t work strictly 9-5 so he feels free to take a break and do something with me. I love the attention but it makes it so hard to get things done! Today I worked for about 5 minutes in the spare bedroom, trying to get it ready for company when he announces that he finally has a slow down long enough that we can eat lunch. Gotta grab the time when it’s available! 😛

  18. My Dh has been retired since l993,, it is a challenge to say
    the least..he also likes to go to town for this or that only
    difference when we stop at “my ” kind of store he says how long you need 20 min?? Unbelievable.. but it does get
    better with years.. he will help me do some heavy things
    around the house , gotta love them but it can get testy..LOL

  19. Oh, Judy, it will be an adjustment! I retired 2 years before my husband and got spoiled. I had free time, Mom and I would go to lunch a couple times a week or just get out and ride. I could get all my major housework done in a day or two. Then he retired and thought he was going to get 3 meals a day and sit in the recliner. I’ll do 2 meals a day but not 3…have a sandwich. I’d have to do my cleaning around his TV shows. Well, it’s been 10 years and we’re still getting used to being home together all day. I’m not a TV person but when he says come look at this I’ll go look for a minute. We laugh all the time and say if we had both been retired when we married (34 years ago) we’d never have made it. We are so different to be so much alike. (lol)

    It’s an adjustment but it’s also what you’ve worked for all these years.At least ya’ll have 40 acres so you can have a little soace and he is a doer. That will help. Just keep plenty of projects for him to do.

  20. All I know is it will be a great adjustment. I love spending time with my husband. He works four days a week and that means if I am going to get any ” me” time it is in those 4 days. I try to not go to my quilt room when he is home as I can lose track of time and be in there 12 hours and not realize it.
    I told him he was going to have to find a hobby that didn’t include me before retirement. We do everything together so I want him to have something of his own. That sounds mean but I know several couples who did everything together and one got sick and died and the one that remained was completely lost without the mate. Not that either of us is very old and both in good health but it is something to think about.
    I didn’t want to be morbid but I do think about these things.

  21. It sure seems that men must dream of the day they retire and their wives will be at their beck and call, fixing them tasty meals three times a day, always ready to help them with their projects. always ready to go where they want to go, never doing anything of their own or going where they want to go on their own. I’ll bet a lot of them get a rude awakening within the first week!! 🙂 My mother-in-law was like that her entire married life and I know a woman in my neighborhood who dropped out of all her clubs and activities when her DH retired because he wanted her home with him. Personally, I don’t know how she stands it.

  22. He has to learn to shop w/o you. Make it his job to do all the shopping(except when you want to go!). Micki

  23. You train him to ask if you want to go, for those rare occasions when you do, and then to accept the answer no and go by himself. =) You both develop your own interests before long, and it all works out okay.

  24. LOL Although Vince is not my DH’s name, I am married to him! LOL every trip out is like that. EVERY trip!
    I retired about 10 yrs after DH and I love retirement, but I’m the first to say no you go do that. He loves to shop, as do I but we too stop at 3 stores to get ‘deals’ I worry about the extra gas! LOL
    Gotta love um!

  25. you won’t
    be very afraid
    this has been going on here since mine retired
    my friends are emailing me to see if I am ok
    i havent sewn a thing since it happened
    been a little over a year now
    be afraid Judy, it is how it works here too

  26. I have found that as much as I enjoy all of the shopping trips we take together (even though they start out as 1 or 2 stops and end up as many more) there have had to be some firm guidelines agreed upon before I leave with him. Such things as the number of stops, a meal somewhere, etc., otherwise, I end the day feeling like absolutely nothing got accomplished. That is a total exaggeration but with both of us retired it is very easy to go on these “little” expeditions a lot which really does leave me with a goodly number of tasks unfinished at home. The retirement “normal” is establishing a balance of these activities, then life is good!! LOL! Hugs, Doreen

  27. gotta try reverse psychology…when he asks if you want to go, say, “sure! i need to stop by the fabric store and look for a fabric.”

  28. I am laughing so at the things all of us do to try to stay sane after …….retires! You will survive because you two love each other. I retired 10 years before my hubby. It took me several years to settle down and adjust to being home. I finally had my routine down pat, and guess what?? It happened. No, I don’t get as much done as I used to, but I am improving. I am busier than ever. I go out only one or two days a week. Unless it is something special we want to do together, he stays home with the dog when I go out, and I stay home when he goes out. If we need to shop or go together, we do. After a year, we have adjusted. I am not lonely at home by myself anymore. I go to lunch with my friends (girl’s day out) on occassion, and he probably enjoys having the house to himself when I am gone! We sit down together for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and generally do our own thing the rest of the day. I know when he is going to watch TV, so I do my noisy things like vacuum at another time. It all works out if you sit down and discuss what you need. We also put all appointments and activities on a calendar so we are aware of each others schedule. It all falls in place eventually, especially if you can laugh about things. Life is never perfect, but you will enjoy each other’s company. Now, if only mine would learn to cook and clean the house — I could have more time to sew!

  29. Funny! Shopping always falls to my son and myself because it involves just over 6 hours of travelling, round trip. We usually go every 3 weeks. In the summer when we are in Canada, my DH stays busy enough, but in the winter in Austria – he drives me a bit crazy – he has nothing better to do than analyze how I spend every moment of my time, plus my sons. I wish he had some goats to go milk, or chickens to feed, or a dog to walk! I think the key is to have something you like to do. Finally I suggested taking the train to Vienna for a diversion and he thinks it is too far away, but it is only 2.5 hours on train and that is less time than we spend going for groceries in the summer! What to do with our men? Oh dear!

  30. My husband does the exact thing…….We intend to walk at the mall…..maybe a 45 minute trip……and then I hear: Since we are out……. and four hours later we might make it back home. It must be an Italian thing.

  31. Tractor Supply would have been the one place I’d have gladly gone in … I got the BEST two pairs of boots I’ve ever gotten while I was there a couple of weeks ago … including a *darling* pair of black rubber boots with POLKA DOTS that looks great splashing in puddles! 🙂

  32. What a laugh this post is! I retired 3 yrs ago and our life is like that all the time! 2 stops become 5 and before you know it it’s late afternoon. On a good note (or bad depending on your view), we both quilt so it makes fabric store visits interesting for BOTH of us.

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