Have you heard the story of The Little Red Hen? As a child, my parents and grandparents read that book to me often. As with most any books they read, they basically taught it to me as a parable. I never remember my parents or my grandparents asking for anything. They worked hard. My grandparents had a huge garden. My dad raised quilt quail, pheasant, rabbits . . all in our backyard and then they ended up on our dinner table. My grandparents traded for things they didn’t grow but they never expected anything from anyone else. They knew they were on their own as far as taking care of themselves and feeding their family. As a kid, we lived through hurricanes and I never heard mention of FEMA. We never waited for trucks to come by and bring food or water. My parents stocked up on whatever we might need — toilet paper, vienna sausage, sardines, crackers. I can tell you that as a child, I feared hurricanes . . not because of the damage they would do but because of the food I knew we would have to eat when the power went off.
So much of what happens in our early years shapes the adult we grow to be. I am so thankful that my parents and their parents taught me to work hard and be responsible for my own self, to help others when they need help but to never expect a handout. There was never any doubt in my mind growing up . . I would go to college, get a job and be able to support myself. We live in a bit different world today. If there are no jobs, then getting a job is not easy and may be downright impossible for some. I’m glad I’m not a young college graduate looking for work these days.
But the one thing I will always believe is that everyone has the power to become a better person, if they want to do so. Not to get political but I believe the government has done a terrible disservice to our society by allowing so many to depend upon a government check for money, for food, for cell phone . . for whatever the government provides. I’m not talking about folks who truly are in need of a helping hand . . I’m talking of folks who know from about the time that they’re 16 years old that they can be supported by the government. If you don’t believe those folks exist, you simply need to get out of your bubble. There are teens who know that the more babies they have, the more money they get. I’ve seen it! I’ve talked to folks. I’ll never forget when we lived in Kentucky, there was a kid who would come visit Chad from time to time. He always wore name brand clothing, had good stuff. We were chatting one day and he was telling me something his dad had done that day which led me to believe his dad was off during the day. I asked him where his dad worked. The kid told me that his dad just got a check. Stayed home and got a check from the government. He told me that during the summer, his dad cut grass for people but they couldn’t tell anyone or he wouldn’t get his government check. The kid learned dishonesty from his parents.
In my mind, preparing for whatever I can imagine happening, growing my own food, canning my own food comes down to taking care of myself. By growing and canning what I’ve grown, I know what goes into the food. I know the chemicals used (or not) on my plants. I know the preservatives used (or not) in the foods I can. There’s no harm in not doing what I do. Most people don’t! The harm is in wishing and wanting to do it and not doing it. I hear people say:
- I don’t know how to can – Neither did I. My grandma did but my mom didn’t til after I left home. I learned on my own. I asked questions, I tried it, I read about it . . if there’s something I want to do bad enough, I’m going to do it. I haven’t blown my head off yet from the pressure canner and as far as I know, no one has gotten seriously ill or died from the foods I canned.
- I have a glasstop stove – I canned for 9 years in Kentucky on a glass top stove, for 4-1/2 years living in Missouri on a glass top stove. I’m not telling you to do it because if you ruin yours, you’re on your own. I’m telling you I did it successfully for 13-1/2 years.
- I don’t have the room – If you want the room, make the room. We bought a 1675 square foot house and with as little room as we have after coming out of a 3800 square foot house, I could find room to store a year’s worth of food if I wanted to do it. We built the sewing room and put in a closet that’s part of the air conditioned area and that’s where I store my food supply.
Even if you don’t do your own canning, you can still prepare your family by buying canned goods. Don’t make excuses — make a plan and do it. This doesn’t apply only to canning and prepping . . this applies to every area of your life. Not one of you is getting a day younger . . if there’s something you truly want to do, figure out how to get started and do it!
Helen P says
Judy,
I too look out for me and my family. I truly understand what you are saying and I totally agree with you. There have been times that we didn’t have the finest but we had what some did not have, a loving family, roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and plenty of food from the garden that was canned to get us thru the winter. It is called survival and my children have learned to do things from scratch and prepare for tomorrow even if it doesn’t show up.
Sharon Spingler says
Horray for you! Well said.
I grew up on a farm in the early 50’s and we always did for ourselves. Our family’s motto was “make do”. If you didn’t raise it or kill it, you went without.
barbara says
i agree with you about leeches in our society, those that aren’t entitled to any help but take it without trying to improve their lives themselves. but is there a way to weed them out without hurting the ones who most need help? how can you separate the man who illegally mows lawns from a young woman living in a shelter because her man hits her? or from the man who lost his job when a mega company drove all the little stores in town out of business? you’re right> cheaters have to stopped. but how?. there are lots of people who want to know the answer to that one.
JudyL says
I guess in your world we could close all the mega stores and then the folks who work there could be added to the welfare rolls.
How about training the woman whose man hits her so that she can get a good job some day and never get involved in a relation with another man who hits her? How about punishing him so that he never hits another woman?
How about everyone learning to be responsible for their own self? Why is a woman with a man who hits her? For me . . once was all it would have taken and I would have been out of there. I’ve always had a skill . . I can take care of myself and that’s what I’m trying to say. We should all learn to be able to be self sufficient.
In this day and age, no woman should ever be so dependent on a man that she has to rely on long term government intervention. Every woman should have a way to support herself, whether she ever has to do it or not.
Helen P says
YES !!!!!!!
barbara says
not every woman is strong and not every woman has the support of family or makes good choices. as for learning a skill, it takes public money to teach people to work and support themselves. as a city person myself, i’ve seen many people living a welfare life. it was the only life they knew and there was no one to tell them there was any other way. i agree with you. but how can you instill a work ethic when there’s none around your own community or in your own family, like in chad’s friends?
Judy L. says
That was a boy that came to visit when Chad was 9 years old . . not a friend today.
Betsy says
Barbara- I totally agree with you.
Ruth Anne shorter says
It does not take public money to teach skills–everyone is born with gifts or talents. School is free and even if you quit at age 15, you still have common sense. I quit school at 17, married at 17, had twins at 18. Hubby was horrible, and we eventually divorced. So at 20, I contacted everyone I could think of and learned how to get a GED . So with 2 year old twins, I got a simple very basic job. By going to work every day, my boss gave me a higher paying job. Eventually, 10 years, I was in a job that required college degree. Never asked for public assistance, never had a mom or any family to help me. There is one thousand ways to be helped out there now in 2012, than there was in 1970. Later, by calling out to the lord, when my twins were 10, I remarried and my husband put me through college by paying monthly– again no assistance. I worked at offender aid and restoration, department of corrections, and later a teacher. I learned from my years of counseling, in the local jail, that the biggest cause of problems is lack of preserverce. They would say things like ” my boss man talk down to me” or my girlfriend wanted me to stay home with her, or other such excuses. My job at times was to get them jobs, set them up in an apartment, etc. but 98% of the time they would abscond. So discouraged at trying to help adults accomplish what I had accomplished with the Lord’s help, not government, I switched to teaching at an at risk school. There the dental clinic arrived twice yearly for all children whose parents only had to sign a form. Just ask me how hard that was for me the teacher to get the parent to sign this form! It was literally like pulling teeth! There was a clinic located right there in the government project. There was 2 meals provided free daily. So just ask me what our school had to do to get them to come to PTA meetings? We had to pick them up on school busses and we teachers served them pizza. They would eat pizza and leave (amazing how they had transportation home so they did not stay for meeting). They are also very smart with section 8. So our government pays young minority women 1000 monthly for their rent! Thay are not handicapped in any way. You could not starve to death in this country if you tried. There are churches, mine included, who pick up from grocery stores (food banks) and deliver food to apartments, private homes, etc. there are churches where you go and get a month’s supply of food for a few dollars. On average the federal government spends 60,000 per year for every poor family that is sixty thousand dollars not sixty dollars folks. Compared to living in Mexico, or other country around the world, our poor are rich. Even when the communists showed films portraying our poor migrating from the dust bowl to california, the people thought they were rich with their old vehicles! Do you know anyone who says they are poor who does not have a huge tv? Just ask them. They usually have 2 or 3 and they have cable. In my at risk school, kindergarten students had ‘pieces’ in their hair that cost 200.00. We only know because of angry notes about getting sand in their pieces when they played in the sand tables in our rooms. Their problem is the choices they choose to make with their available money. Pleasure, hair styles, nail, clothes, shoes, cars are a high priority. I have had my nails done five times in my life as I can not afford it. So you tell me what the problem. I am thankful to the Lord, for my career of 30 years of working with the incarcerated, and other needy folks. Sorry to say my desire to help them into a independent lifestyle failed for the most part. I did have 2 young men who visited me after their release and thank me, and as far as I know they are doing well.
w98% of the time would abscond.
Laura says
The problem is, Judy, that you’re assuming everyone has your same strengths and abilities. I am thoroughly disgusted by people who are perfectly capable of working but live off the government. That said, not everyone got the great start in life that you did. As far as the woman who allows the man to hit her, again, not everyone has the strength or sense of self-worth to realize they don’t deserve that treatment. I’d be out the first time, too, but some women are not that strong.
Ruth Anne shorter says
Laura, just think! Does our God and our country not give everyone an equal opportunity? If you are handicapped, there is an abundance of assistance out there. Just call your local offender aid and restoration office and ask them for a list of services available! Tell them this is for non offenders if that is the case. Other agencies have lists, too. It is not strength but a desire to live a better life. If you steer them to a women’s shelter, as I have done repeatedly, they can be taught how to escape this life. But, if they are not willing to be helped, pray for them, as you can not force them, of course. What makes women live like this? Partly because the way our creator created us to be nurturers and caretakers, they translate this wrongly to the man who is suppose to take care of them. So in a nutshell, only a right relationship with our creator and more importantly as our Savior, can you live life to the fullest. I have walked with him since I was 20 and He will not fail. Yes, I still do not have a big screen tv, still can not afford nails done monthly ( my economic choice is for canning jars, etc. ) but my basic needs are met. So my choice in helping people today is first by helping them have basic needs met then introduce them to my friend who has a 1000 cattles on the hill, Jesus Christ. I am reminded of the story of giving the man a fish, or teaching him to fish. This world is never going to to be a garden of Eden where we just relax, eat and be merry because when it wad, our parents, Adam and eve took care of that. Sin is the basic heart problem which results in misery. I can be poor and have joy, but others without Christ, can be rich and unhappy. So prayer for others is a key. Also, there are going to be some that no matter what you do, they can not be helped. I could tell you 100’s of storied. I started to write a book, but selfishly, it hurts to much to recall my failure.
Helen Koenig1 says
Judy – it isn’t just a matter of punishment, etc. – but a woman who grew up in a house where women were treated poorly – were treated like they didn’t count or that they were there to be beaten, raped, whatever – treated like they were less than human – is VERY likely to marry someone who will continue that way – and she in turn will raise children who will grow up in the same kind of house that she did. Abuse by spouse (man or woman), by parent – all of it is related and all of it not only affects self-esteem but also is perpetuated by lowering esteem and learning to believe that is the way it should be.
The answer is helping people learn and gain self esteem and self respect. Checks won’t necessarily help – but they CAN offer a chance for a woman who is making a break for it to reach out for help/therapy/education/different job and give her at least a chance for gaining that.
Yes, there are cheaters. But there are also those who do need assistance, who cannot maintain family integrity on their own without some form of monetary assistance.,
Are financial assistance services set up properly – Nyet! I don’t know how – and would love to know – but we DO need to re-work them – just as we need to re-work agencies and social services that are supposed to protect children (and don’t)
Leslie says
Well said, Judy, well said,
I agree with you.
Take care, Leslie
Harriett says
Yes to all of it. More people should remover the little red hen.
Linda in NE says
You are so right!! Each & every person needs to learn self-reliance. It’s not possible to become completely self-reliant but everyone needs to do the best they can to do as much for themselves as they can. I hate seeing someone who is perfectly capable getting a disability check and pay for groceries with an EBT card. I didn’t even know what that was until one of them explained it to me!! A neighbor down the street is a perfect example. As a much younger man he was in an accident and couldn’t work for a while, got on disability and was never taken off. Yet he walks, talks, sees, hears, uses his hands, can use a computer, does mechanical work on cars and puts up wood. Oh yes, also drinks like a fish and gets belligerent. At this point he should be working for a living, not on disability and food stamps. I see him as a waste of oxygen. I also know a girl who keeps having babies to stay on welfare. Now, one child out of wedlock could be called a mistake. After that it’s just stupidity. So why should the hard-working taxpayers have to support it? All this government dependence is an epidemic and way to many people who don’t know any other way to live are just parasites. Take away the government tit and let them figure it out…..or not.
Micki says
I totally agree, but I think we are of a similar age. I also was raised to take care of myself, make do, or do without. I believe we need to stop being a” socialist” type of country that gives to everyone, needed or not. I hope this doesn’t sound unfeeling, but…. Thanks for your blog Judy
Gwen says
You mentioned kids learning early that the government will take care of them. I know from working in a public school with many poor children just how early they learn. A long time ago I was working with a group of 5 to 10 year olds. One of the boys about 7 years old was just amazed that none of the others had a case worker. He asked, “Well, how do you get your money with a case worker to GIVE it to you?” That was probably 30 years ago and we all know it is no better today.
Ranch Wife says
Three cheers from the end of the dirt road and skootch over, you ought to have a bit of company on that box!
Sherrill says
Yep and AMEN! I think you’re pretty much preachin to the choir here, though!
Laurel from Iowa says
Thank you for being brave enough to write what so many agree with. When I see a welfare person using an iPhone, it makes my blood boil. Entitlements for those who are more than able to work MUST STOP!
barbara says
this is not apolitical question: is there a way to weed out the cheaters from the truly needy? old people who can’t live on SS?
Helen P says
Date of birth would be a good way to start.. computers sort information by all kinds of schedules , so it should be an easy task for a Gov Department supervisor to handle. Or it can be sorted by SS or Disablity, or medicaid or medicare or welfare assistance, or food stamp assistance..
barbara says
isn’t it too easy to “hide” money? how can someone tell if there’s a real need? it’s just so hard to know who really needs help and who’s lying. on t.v. they show people with forged birth certificates and you keep hearing about stolen identities. how can you tell the good guys from the bad guys anymore? you don’t want to support lazy bums, but you don’t want to hurt people who need short-term help either.
Judy L. says
We’ve always assumed SS would either not be there when we retire or not be sufficient and we’ve saved for our retirement years. We never planned for the government (ie, other taxpayers) to supplement our retirement income.
Romonia says
Amen
Linda Smith says
You go, girl! I am amazed at your organization and accomplishments. I am overjoyed to read of the things you do, and your accomplishments continue to encourage me daily.
I grew up in the day before the Welfare System. The churches and the church members were the people who helped the poor families. And everyone worked at something, even odd jobs. It was a different era. Yes, there were a few people who took advantage and just wanted a hand out, but the majority of the poor accepted a HAND UP, and that boost was all they needed to help themselves because they were willing to work.
As an educator of lower economic children for thirty years, yes, it is very hard to break the bondage of a person dependent on undeserved welfare as a way of life. Screen applicants carefully, set a time limit for funds and discontinue funding if requirements are not met, and disqualify those unwilling to work – just a few ideas. Unfortunately, the American Welfare System has produced a group of people who believe the American government owes them a living. We got along just fine years ago without welfare. Now we have several generations who believe that OTHERS should work so that they can be comfortable, and are happy to take the possessions and money for which we have worked so very hard to earn. Some people even call it sharing the wealth. I’m tired of giving undeserving people undeserved funds. Enough said.
Kolleen says
“My dad raised quilt, pheasant, rabbit. . .”. Well I guess we know how you became such a good quilt maker today.
Judy L. says
My one track mind. Quail, nit quilt. 🙂
Sandra Clarke says
Good job!, I agree!!
pdudgeon says
simply agreeing to disagree here. even if you work not every job pays a living wage for single people on their own. in fact every single traditional job i have ever had has never ever paid me a living wage. my experiences are different from yours, Judy, just as my opportunities were different from yours. there are always two sides to a story. what my experience taught me was that the vast majority of people who run businesses and pay the wages don’t know how to separate needs from wants in this life. and when they don’t know that, they also can’t judge what a reasonable salary is all about.
Betsy says
Yes, yes, yes. I believe assistance should be there to fill in the gaps, whether it be job loss, livable wage, etc. It shouldn’t be a lifestyle by any means (and this includes SS). It shouldn’t afford for the “extras”, but it should be able to provide decent housing, enough food, etc.
neen says
Betsy, I don’t know about you but I worked hard and dearly, for my SS. It’s insurance, not an entitlement….
Betsy says
But we are getting out far more than we ever put in. And what about those who did not work and contribute to that fund? Should they still be able to collect?
Judy Laquidara says
If I had invested the same amount I paid into social security, I’d have a lot more than I’ll ever get from social security.
Doe in Mi says
pdudgeon, I totally agree with you. Always two sides of the coin. And I agree because I’ve been on both ends of the life you speak of – never on welfare – but, had to pay bills on a minimum wage job and not have enough left for groceries. Then when my Dad passed on my bank acct. looked whole lot better and I gained some weight, lol. And I could store up some food for bad times and still do.
pdudgeon says
Amen to that, doe. i can’t tell you how many times i skipped lunch so that my 3 kids and husband could eat, with both of us working 40 hrs a week. or how i went thru my 3rd pregnancy with only one maternity dress, and wore my husband’s shirts and pants the rest of the time because we couldn’t afford maternity clothes. Judy doesn’t realize that her story is NOT a typical woman’s experience in the world– her’s is the exception that turned out great. not all of us have been so fortunate.
Laura says
Amen Judy! Well said!
Joan in NE says
I totally agree with you. an example was a neighbor who lost his job. Got unemployment benefits and would not take a job that paid just a bit more than the “check” he got. “Why work when I can do odd jobs and add to what I get. So he lived on that till he used up all the benefits and only then got a job again.
We have always had a garden, canned, froze or dehydrated the produce. Cannot have animals so we buy from local farmers and process it. Where there is a will there is a way.
Growing up living on assistance was something to be ashamed of.. But living off others is a learned technique. Just recently there was an article about a grand mother who was raising grand children. Her income was $89,000. All from money she got for taking in her grand children. I don’t know what it will take to wake people up, but I expect that .time is fast approaching.
In the meantime, we too prepare. Our kids garden and can etc. Amazingly they go to garage sales etc. and have many “things” that would put them into debt if they bought them in a store.. It can be done.
Mary says
I always told my kids that it was my moral responsibility to DRESS them not to DECORATE them. If they wanted the fancy namebrand stuff – they saved their babysitting money. Not to surprisingly, when they had to spend their hard earned money – they often (not always!) made better choices.
neen says
Good words, all, Judy!! Personal responsibility and initiative is what this great country was based on. We, as a Nation, truly need to revisit this.
Dawn-Marie Fahey says
Lets just hope this hurricane doesn’t hit us as hard as other places. Our saved food is gonna do us any good if we get evacuated.
Doreen says
Sadly, “generalities” seem to indict even those who are sincerely trying to provide for themselves in a noble manner. We live in a country where even our “needs” are head and shoulders above what would be considered such in another world area. To live simply and humbly would go a long ways to take care of many! Happy Monday! Blessings, D
Ronda says
You are a huge inspiration to me daily when I read your blog! I agree with you totally on taking care of yourself. Yesterday I saw a man on the corner with a sign asking for money for food. He was smoking a cigarette!!! If he didn’t spend $60 (or whatever the price it is) on a carton of cigarettes he could buy his own food.
Betsy says
How do you know he purchased those?
Judy Laquidara says
Betsy, please stop questioning other comments. If you want to comment, that’s fine but please do not question other comments in this manner.
Ruth Anne shorter says
The little red hen was read to me in school, so maybe that is what helped me when there was no family to help! What is do funny, is that I mentioned it to my new DIL, and she had never heard of it. So I ordered her one. I also read it to each class I taught but the younger teachers had never heard of it either! So glad you mentioned it.
Dottie N. says
Amen, Judy!
Jean S. says
You qualify your words with “not for those who are truly in need.” In fairness, who has the time and resources to truly look into the circumstances of each individual to see whether they are worthy of our help ? If you were born into poverty, do not have education, live in cities or rural areas where there are no jobs for those who are desperately seeking them, no health care except the emergency room, it would take an extraordinary person to rise above these handicaps. The last time I priced canning equipment, it costs more than anyone with a minimum wage job could manage. On the pittance they give welfare families to live on, fresh fruits and vegetables are beyond their reach. I would rather spend my taxes on helping people than paying for wars. The poor aren’t the only welfare recipients in our country. Large corporations and the wealthy pay little or no taxes while the rest of us who do have jobs and do fend for ourselves carry the load. I suggest that instead of complaining about spending a nickle on others judged lazy, give your time to helping them find their independence. Teach them what you know and help them to find opportunities to make a better life for themselves. Those who judge usually do not have all the information and have not walked in the shoes of those they condemn. Selfishness is easy; compassion and the willingness to help others find their independence, much harder but so much more rewarding.
Judy Laquidara says
Jean, you might need to change the channel and get some facts if you think corporations are paying little to no taxes. Here’s a link from a liberal source – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/30/us-corporate-tax-rate_n_1392310.html
You obviously do not have a clue how much I donate – time, money, quilts. You also do not know my background.
EVERYONE can get an education — freely! My feeling is that too many government programs have taken away the incentive for many folks to get a good education and better themselves. We have to break that cycle . . not make excuses for poor folks to remain in poverty.
Mary says
My dad was the 1st in his family to graduate from high school. I was the 1st in his family to graduate from college, my daughter – the 1st to receive a post grad degree. There,s no shame in being poor BUT it doesn’t mean you have to have a dirty face. If youndon’t like where YOU are, make a choice.
Linda Steller says
Yep. There are people who really know how to work the system. Unfortunately, they make things difficult for those who really have no where else to turn. I am proud that, at 58 years of age, I am retired and in a home that I mostly own — the fruit of my own labor, as I’ve always been a single woman. Hopefully, next year I’ll be healed enough to grow my garden and can my own food. I’ve relied on the farm store and the freezer a lot this year. It never hurts to be prepared!