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January 2, 2008

A Haircut, Without the Drama, Please!

I’m a pretty normal, everyday, run of the mill, quiet, shy, keep to myself kinda girl. Aside from my husband’s parents coming straight from Sicily, my life is about as calm and uneventful as it gets. When there is a little excitement, I get real nervous and feel like a fish out of water.

I have crappy hair but I don’t think that makes me terribly abnormal. It’s rare that I find a hair cutter that I’m thrilled with. I’ve always been pretty thrilled with Jennifer but she’s in SW Louisiana and it just isn’t feasible (or acceptable in my husband’s eyes) for me to drive 12 hours one way once a month for a haircut so I’ve been forced through the years to get haircuts from someone besides Jennifer.

Not long after moving to KY, a friend recommended a beautician I’ll call Kay (not her real name). She did a great job on my hair but her shop was in this horrible old mobile home. Mobile homes aren’t so bad but this one was bad — real bad. Not only that but people smoked in there and finally I just decided I’d settle for a not so good haircut and not have to smell like smoke all day so I got haircuts at various other places through the years but never did I find anyone that I’d say I truly liked.

Same thing here. We’ve been here a year. I went to Place #1 and she did fair with my hair but they smoke in there too. Not for me. Someone recommended Place #2. Haircut was average but the hair cutter was . . I’m not sure what the word is but let’s just say it took her about 45 minutes to get me in and out of the chair and I heard about her family’s mental illness, her bank account overdraft, her husband not allowing her to sign on their savings account and her cell phone having been disconnected and that’s all I remember but there was more.

Chad was getting desperate for a haircut about 6 months ago. It had been probably 6 months since he’d had a haircut so a friend of his recommended Place #3. Chad went and was pleased so I went. WOW! A great haircut and she only charged $10 but I gave her way more. I went back in a month or so. Double WOW! Another great haircut. Today I went back for a third haircut. Not so good! Let’s call her Linda (also not her real name). Linda talks a lot on a good day. Vince had mentioned that he wanted me to make an appointment for him to get his hair cut but I didn’t think that would be a good match. Her talking would have driven him nuts. Today Linda was downright over the edge with the incessant talking. She started messing with my hair, all the while chattering non-stop. I finally interrupted her and said let’s talk about my hair for a minute. Got the plan all nailed down for what she was going to do with my hair and the screeching talking began again. Every time she heard a sound, she would run to the window. Once she almost melted into a puddle and looked relieved and said whew, that was just the garbage man!

I had left my purse in the car and when she heard a noise, and ran to the window for about the fifth time in 15 minutes, I said my purse is in the car, do you think it’s ok? Apparently that was just the opening she needed to spill her guts!

Seems as though a family member is having a bit of a problem and seems as though Linda got into a ruckus with a drug dealer this weekend and seems as though she’s afraid he’s coming after her. But, Judy, don’t worry because I have my baseball bat riiiighhhhhhtttttt here!

I’m not very familiar with drug dealers but from what I’ve seen on TV, a baseball bat might not be what you need if they come after you. And me . . I didn’t even have my purse to swing at them nor did I have my cell phone with me to call for help.

She went right back to her non-stop screeching talking while cutting my hair, all the while keeping one eye on the door/window and one eye on my hair. When she talks, she stops cutting . . which would probably be a good thing on a normal day (if she ever has those!) but today I just wanted out of there! I’ll bet I said three times — just cut my hair and stop talking.

She finally had measured every hair on my head and decided the cut was good. I would have been happy with half of it cut and half of it not cut — I just wanted to get in my car and drive to the safety of home! She got the curling iron out and oh . . thanks but I think my hair is just fine without being curled today. She said you just want to get out of here, don’t you! Yes, ma’am! That’s per exactly what I want to do!

I think I’m back in the market for a new hair cutter!


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